Disclaimer: I laughed so hard I almost blew out my sphincter. Beware.
- How to Remove Chewing Gum from Your Bush
- How to Remove an Infected Cyst from a Loved-One
- How to Make Two Small Hats Out of a Brassiere
- How to Make a Brassiere Out of Two Small Hats
- How to Have Really Nice Lymph Glands
- How to Act Laid-Back During a Grease Fire
- How to Spot a Creep from Across the Street
- How to Dance with a Swedish Person
- How to Induce a Clergyman to Grad You by the Nuts
- How to Milk a Dog While It's Sleeping
- How to Get Through College Without Books
- How to Make a Small Salad Out of Your Work Pants
- How to Lure a Weasel into a Cardboard Box
- How to Filet a Panda
- How to Get a Tan with a Blow Torch
- How to Make an Oil Lamp Out of Your Genitals
- How to Style Your Hair with a Bullwhip
- How to Convert an Old Leather Chair into Twelve Pairs of Shoes
- How to Achieve Multiple Orgasms with a Pair of Tweezers
- How to Kill a Rat with a Paperclip
- How to Lease Out the Space Inside Your Nose
- How to Spot Truly Vicious People in Church
- How to Become a Total Fuckin' Greaseball
The 'how to spot vicious people in church' only has one guideline.......walk through the front door!
ReplyDelete(not really....but the thought popped into my head before I could smother it and it seems like something George would say)
Ooohh!! You're gonna draw some boos from the crowd here, but it's still funny. :oD
ReplyDeleteGeorge Carlin is God.
ReplyDeleteSay it again, sista!
ReplyDelete