Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Would You Like Some Jesus with that Eyeliner?

I went to the Mary Kay follow up meeting today. Normally, the consultant that did our "skin care class" likes to do individual follow-ups, but there wasn't a good day for me and Kandice was having hers today, so I went to her house. And I figured easier to say, "No, I'm not buying more of your overpriced makeup," in groups.

We went through our color lesson...blah blah. My eyes really did look lovely, but I can get the same look from the cheap Wally World makeups instead of having to order and wait and go through the hassle for three times the price from a Mary Kay consultant.

Part of this follow-up was the woman telling us a little about Mary Kay in case we wanted to get involved in the company. She went through the ways you make money with them, yadda yadda, and finally, she's a director so she's over lots of consultants. She's a former pastor's wife, sweet lady, but the way she pitches selling Mary Kay is just a little too Robert Tilton (if you're not familiar...scuzzy Dallas televangelist that got sent to prison) for me.

In the weekly "goal meetings" where you giggle and squeal with other consultants over how much you've made that week, or cry and shiver in the corner if you haven't done well...her group does a little devotional. That's cool! God is great...and how often does he get to make an appearance in the workplace, right? But the more she talked the ickier I felt. She started going on about how she became a consultant to get a car. Now she's got the car, she's workin' on car #2, and she's "chasing carrots" as she says to win prizes from the company...blah blah. And Jesus wanted her to do it. Jesus said yes, she could do it, so she did and she's successful and has cars running out her heiney, and she wants other women to ask Jesus, and if he says yes, they should join Mary Kay and sell makeup and chase carrots and buy cars and all your DREAMS WILL COME TRUE!!! She's teaching women every week to reach for their dreams and love theirs husbands and children and all that through Jesus, and SELL MAKEUP!

Now, I'm torn. I'm a Christian...yes o'yes I am. I'm also a feminist. I'm a Christian feminist who loooooves me some makeup. Now, I'm also realistic enough to know that makeup makes a lot of false claims, especially when it comes to reviving, renewing, rejuvenating, and decreasing those pesky wrinkles. Utne ran an article in the March/April issue about how cosmetic companies flat-out lie about most of their products (they're mostly water and paste), and I'm sure Mary Kay is no different. Did I mention, when I went to the Microderm Abrasion class that my face broke out? I'm horribly allergic to dog hair, and I looked exactly like I'd rubbed Dash (our weenie dog) all over my face after I used one of hte products. Welts, itchiness, redness, grossness. According to Utne, olive oil is one of the best moisturizers and it won't clog your pores. I would've been better off staying home and rubbing olive oil on my face than going to a class and abrasing my microderms. But I digress....cosmetic companies make a big business of lying, and here's lil miss consultant telling me that she and Jesus will fulfill all my wildest dreams by peddling makeup to the masses.

Isn't something wrong here?

22 comments:

  1. well, the standard is to whore Jesus for profits, Andiroo. Miss Mary Kay is just taking a bite out of that pie. Sounds gross, though. Something is definitely wrong, but only if you're out of the Jesus-whore loop enough to see it. Everyone else prolly thinks it's ay-okay.

    Happy Easter!

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  2. LOL! Just the way you put things. Love it.

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  3. Oh Lord, I hate Mary Kay. I hate all companies like it. My aunt sells it too, but she stays out of that halleluiah crowd for the most part. I don't think she even goes to the meetings anymore. She just sells the makeup to her loyal clients.

    They really are a bunch of rabid harlots aren't they? Yikes, never me, if I ever get involved in that kind of nastiness please drive me to the nearest asylum!

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  4. LMAOOOO!!! Rabid harlots!!! You made me snort at 9:06 in the mornin', and I think that's a record. Whew!

    I don't think I could do it mostly because I don't think I could ever be that upbeat about expensive makeup. I'd be slippin' hints about the cheap brands and never make any money.

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  5. Well, and I'm not really a rarbid harlot. I try to keep my harlotry contained. lol

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  6. grrreat post . i typed in the wrong address for my own blog and came across yours by accident. i will drop by again sometime. we need more christian feminists.

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  7. Good to see ya xaviernougat! Glad you accidentally dropped by, and I hope you'll post again. Will be checkin' out your blog as well. :o)

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  8. I'm not into those 'pedaling' jobs that you have to sell yourself to innocent bystanders and shove your stuff down your thraot. There is a most popular religion out here that does that, maybe she is a part of that one? I think that they follow me around town, I've told them I'm Baptist and they say, OH... I've been to one of THOOOOOOSE before. Guess I'm going to hell....! Anyhoo I like Bare Minerals, you probably have seen it on TV, I got mine at Ulta, no pasty goo, just a powder that covers better than any goo I have ever tried. Happy Easter. Loves

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  9. Oooh, I haven't heard of Ulta. Sounds interesting, and I must look it up. Loves! And I keep forgetting Easter is upon us. It seems sooo too soon.

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  10. AMEN SISTER!




    From another christian feminist who loves makeup.

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  11. Why thank you, Elizabeth! I just love new visitors...now I have more blogs to check out. ;o)

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  12. And I just posted on my own blog as anonymous. Today's not my day.

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  13. lol... Too funny. Perhaps Jesus got tired of worrying about whether or not the children in 3rd world countries eat, and has become intensely interested in helping this woman collect cars. What else is a deity for if not to help people amass wealth through selling cosmetics?

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  14. LOL! Good way to put it. If all else fails maybe the 3rd world children can eat the makeup?

    Oh, and I took that quiz from your blog about what kind of believer you are...I'm same as you: questioning believer.

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  15. you don't know about Ulta?? there's one by frisco. go. robin loves the place.
    i had the same thing happen to me, but not mary kay. i'm trying to remember what its called but i can't. i like their lotion. they go on and on about how they don't use anything that isn't completely natural and safe (no bat crap, in other words) in their stuff. whatever. they also go on and on about how the Lord told them to join and they feel that he wants me to join too. Now come on, guys- those of you who know me know that i'm a die hard, hard core, fanatical Jesus lover, but he has NEVER asked me to sell makeup...not even once....

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  16. YES! I was waiting for your response, and I have to say, I'm so glad you've had the same experience. lol I think I lied. Wasn't there an Ulta that used to be over by Town East? Now that I think of it, I think there was. And I was just talking to my reading studetns about bat crap in makeup the other day. Go figure!

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  17. oh yeah. maybe that's the one i'm thinking of. i've only been once, but my sister would like to build a little cottage in the center of it and dwell there in happiness all her days. the really funny thing about arbonne (that was the name- i remembered!) wanting me to sell for them was that their reason was that i had good skin!! what?? i thought their MAKEUP was supposed to give you good skin! they even knew that a) i NEVER wear makeup and b) my "beauty regimen" consists of a bar of soap...so...what on earth good would i be?? none! they really need to find someone with horrible horrible terrible skin and then, after six months of their magical products, let THAT person sell the stuff! now THAT would be the ideal candidate. but only if Jesus told them to...

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  18. LOLLLL! Oh, and Keith is moving to New Jersey. I must e-mail you.

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  19. i really like how she said that jesus told wanted her to do it and it was ok, as though jesus has a personal stake in her cosmetic selling.

    does god really give a shit if someone sells Mary Kay, is a doctor, or works at a convenience store? i doubt it. it's like all that "if god wants me to win this competition, it will happen!" (on american idol and shows of that ilk)...as though god has nothing better to do than sit around deciding who will win talent shows. kinda presumptuous i think.

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  20. Yeah, it struck me as a little um....over the top, too. She was different...that's for sure.

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  21. Hmm. When this post first came out, I was gonna post. But now, I think it's a little superfluous. Stupid word. Now I hafta go look it up... Good. Got it right on the second try. 0=) Ah. I remember what I was gonna say. If you feel like Easter was too soon, you can always switch over to Easter Orthodox. They're apparently usually about two weeks behind the rest of this, and this year, they're WAY behind (they're Lent apparently only started a few weeks ago). Of course, I don't have that information from an Eastern Orthodox source, so it's accuracy isn't perfect, but I imagine it's close.

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  22. I meant Eastern Orthodox... =P

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