Thursday, April 21, 2005

I hate everything....because I can.

I'm sick. My head feels like a balloon, my eyelids feel like they have red-hot pokers behind them, and I'm coughing like a 90-year-old emphysema patient. I have to get better before 11:00. I have one hour and 55 minutes. I have to teach today. I have to juggle library books tomorrow and Saturday.

In the meantime, here are some things that peeve me. Feel free to add your own peeves.

-I hate the seals on the top of spice bottles. I almost never got the top off my cinnamon/sugar bottle this morning.

-I hate that sweets don't appeal to me as much as they used to. As I ate my cinnamon toasty treat this morning, I was secretly fantasizing about my grilled chicken salad from last night.

-I hate that I can't wear my hair down after I've offhandedly put it in a pontytail for a while. The bump. You girls know what I'm talkin' about.

-I hate that my strawberries are mysteriously dying.

-I hate that I can't run around outside in a t-shirt and panties more often. It's exhilarating.

-I hate that my feet have weak arches. It hurts like a mofo.

-I hate that people in Chicago really think there's a vision of the Virgin Mary on the wall of an underpass. It's a stain. A gross stain. Probably a pee stain.

26 comments:

  1. Oh yeah, the stain. LOL. That was on the radio here this morning, in teh "what can we laugh at today" section of the news, normally given over to mad surveys.

    People = weird

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  2. aww!! sorry you're feeling bad. here's my pet peeve:

    i hate it when i KNOW i'm right and then....it turns out i'm wrong. Dadgumit.....

    there. is that good enough?
    my beautiful sister came home from portugal or wherever the heck she's been all this time today. she bought me pearls, she says. good sister!!

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  3. i hate anti-perspirant that smells like baby powder. grown women should not smell like baby powder unless they actually have a baby with them.

    i think you should make some cinnamon toast with the face of the virgin mary...

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  4. My freshman year in college, I had a roommate who wore expensive silk shirts. One hellish finals week, I pointed out to him that he had a stain on his shirt. He looked at it and said, "My whole life is stained."

    My other pot-head roommate heard this, and got a kick. Every time soemthing went wrong, he'd go, "I'm stained, man! I'm stained."

    I'm sure the Virgin Mary would be proud.

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  5. Poor thing. I hope you feel better...

    My number one pet peeve: abortion. Or maybe it's the relativisation of morality. Or maybe it's the degradation of humanity through the debasement of human sexuality, or maybe it's when people spell lose loose...

    Though maybe relativisation should be relativation... Or maybe I should say relativising... *shrugs* Silly Latin add-on thingies... Suffixes... That's what they are...

    And I don't know what to say about the Mary thing... It seems that people are looking for the divine in all the wrong places (no, I'm not saying Mary is divine...).

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  6. Oh poor baby, I hope you feel better!

    I have high arches. I hate them. I ran track and it was a bitch. :)

    I hate books from the library that smell like cigarettes. Nasty!

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  7. ago- that scent makes me want to vomit. i would rather be smelly from my own underarm stench than let powder scented crap touch me.

    i hate to be told how to drive. it only makes me worse.

    somebody should pin up that grilled cheese sandwich from ebay next to the stain - it could be the start of a new oddities museum.

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  8. Geez--I hope you're feeling better! BTW--there's nothing wrong with running around outside in a t-shirt & panties. You should do it often, if it makes you feel better. Really, you should.

    I hate it when I've used the last roll of toilet paper, and have forgotten to go to the store. Messy, messy, messy.

    Did you see the picture of the stain? I was moved to tears. My face was tear-stained. Then I looked in the mirror. And what to my wondering eyes did appear....?

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  9. Ha! I need to listen to the radio more. My fave station used to have a segment like that.

    Clack,
    Me too!!! Because I'm always supposed to be right. Since when has she been in Portugal?? I'm so behind.

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  10. Ago,
    I agree. Baby powder scent gives me the gags unless it's attached to someone under the age of 5. Not a bad idea re: the Virgin on toast. I could be on the news! It seems like I remember a pizza or a tortilla or something with a Mary on it from a few years ago. Hmmm.

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  11. Chavez,
    That cracked me up in the midst of my feeling shitty. It was the mental pic of him saying, "My whole life is stained." Poor boy...I wonder if his diamond shoes were too tight?

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  12. Cherbear, leave it to you to say abortion....and all those other complicated and very informed things you mentioned. You crack me up. I was thinking all of the responses would be "I can't open pickle jars!" or "I get hang nails alot!"

    I *heart* you.

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  13. Heather,
    I'm feeling awful! I blew off my night class and came home. Now I'm waiting for my lunch to be done and I'm gonna take a long nap.

    Ciggy-smellin' library books are the worst. Weird stains are a close second.

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  14. Steph,
    I drive worse when corrected, too. I figure I'd might as well give 'em something to complain about!

    LOL@oddities museum! Another mental picture. The Virgin and a grilled cheese....tasty.

    Os,
    LOL! I was wondering how long it would take for you to comment about the undies. Took longer than I expected...you must've had a busy morning.

    Eeeewww at the toilet paper. That's why you ALWAYS buy the 24-pack.

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  15. i thought the lose vs loose thing was pretty hilarious after all that other stuff, cher. funny. hmm. i just called you cher. now i'm uncomfortable.
    del- she just went for six weeks on a self made trip to work in an orphanage. can you believe this girl?? she says she kept wanting to stick kids in her luggage and bring them home. :)
    uh. here's something is JUST found out- my brother MIGHT be getting married. in DECEMBER. how excited ARE we?? i haven't even met this girl yet! i'm telling you- when you get to be their age you sure don't waste any time!

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  16. Oh my goodness to orphans and his possible marriage!!! Susan didn't even tell me this. Susan must be outta the loop. She didn't even tell me about your sis! Geez! What is the world coming to?? Oh, and doesn't he live in a loft?? I think I might bump him off for his loft.

    OH! And the twin I went to prom with doesn't have a job (no names!). There's snow on the hills of hell.

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  17. Sorry for the delay about the undies. Glad to know that you're expecting me in the mornings! You're right, I have been busy all morning. Gonna be that way for another week or so. Sometimes my life sucks!

    And the TP thing--I do buy the 24-pack. That's the problem. I always assume that there's more rolls left!

    Another peeve that just came up. I get to typing too fast, and when I type the letters "ou", it comes out as "oiu". Damned lazy middle finger!

    A couple more peeves--"I can't open pickle jars!" & "I get hang nails alot!"

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  18. Did he get fired?? Don't you DARE tell Susan about Lance! of course, my dad will, but she HAS to hear it from one of us! not that you would...but its brand new news, so i doubt such things would have ever come up yet. i dont know how she missed to robin loop. my dad was obsessed with the fact that she was gone and he and tony see each other virtually every day.

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  19. I think you forgot one. Like the most necessary...

    "I hate smelly mall-walkers"

    Sure, you may not have encountered any mall-walkers this week, let alone those that smell (although let's be honest, you meet a mall-walker, he's gonna have a certain funk), but you have to hate them all the same.

    -Tim

    "Tell them I hate them"

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  20. Os, I do the "oiu" thing, too. Drives me crazy.

    Clack, He failed to meet a quota...so it was understood that if he didn't he wouldn't have the job anymore. Oh my!

    Tim, I hadn't even though about stinky mall walkers!!! That's downright brilliant thinking. I heartily agree.

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  21. OHHHH Andi! Auction off your Virgin-Mary-Cinnamon-Toast on Ebay -- you'd make a ton of cash!

    My pet peeve: Man-farts. Peels the paint off the wall....

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  22. Andi have you forgotten the oil leak spot in the parking lot of one of the barrio apts. in Dallas while we were in high school??? Surely not, Mary appeared in petro by-products on the asphalt!!! Ha!

    My pet peave would be when my sweet Becca decides to take her poop diapers off and then park herself on the carpet. FYI she just did that, and FYI ON MY BRAND NEW CARPET THAT WE GOT INSTALLED WEDNESDAY!!!!!! I am so mad. Tehre are no words to describe my sorrow right now. Oh, the joys of motherhood. Sometimes they really make you wonder why you signed up for the job!! :****----( thats a pic of me crying

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  23. Oh my GAD! Amanda, man farts are the wooooorst. Could take the chrome off a trailer-hitch.

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  24. Val,
    My condolences on the carpet. It's a sad, sad day. *sniff* Eeeew, what's that smell?

    And I'd forgotten all about the barrio Mary. How do you remember these things??? LOL

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  25. Oh, you know it just 'appeared' to me.
    Peeve #2 Pee dribbles on the toilet seat. I will gag and sterilize every time. *not dave, he knows better.

    If you notice alot of typing errors, I changed to another keyboard, not used to it!

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