Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Books and Vampires

I got called in to work early yesterday (the usual), so, like a good lil circulation peon, I went in and made me some dough. BossLady told me that the new director had a friend coming in to volunteer. Friend wants to get a library degree, so she needs some practical experience, yadda. I was the only person at the desk yesterday, with the exception of our high school student worker, and all she can do is shelve books. So, around 3:00 in walks the volunteer.

Picture it with me:

Thin and ghostly white
Red fitted sweater
Black capri pants
5-inch Mary Janes
LITTLE GIRL SOCKS.....white, turned down, with ruffles

Then we get to her head, and this is the real treat:

Orangey-red hair with purple'ish streaks
WHITE powdered face makeup
Menstrual-red lipstick
At least a centimeter of black eyeliner all the way around the eyes

Can we all say Dracula?? Anyone?

Now, given the freakish appearance, she was very nice. Turns out, she teaches English at another community college (when I found out I looked down at my flamingo Bill Blass and wondered how different two people can be). The real kicker in all this, way more kicky than the fact that Draculena was so made up, was the interaction between her and our new director. The director that has been with us for exactly one week.

The case:

He helped her shelve books for almost an hour. Shelving books does not take a rocket scientist....especially when all you're doing is Adult Fiction.

When he walked out across the library and she was trailing slightly behind, she frolicked....literally skipped and jumped....to catch up with him.

He wanted me to train her at the circ desk. Volunteers are not allowed at the circ desk.

He spent at least an hour with her in his office....his office with the door closed when he saw Kenya coming down the hall to the break room.

When referring to him in conversation she giggled like a horny 12-year-old.

When I asked how late she was working (we were open until 8pm) she said she wasn't sure what the plan was with Director, she'd have to ask, and she frolicked (hopped and skipped) off to find him.

Shortly after her return, he surfaced and said, "Hey, you ready to go???" More frolicking.

They were seen shortly after sitting on the tailgate of his truck talking for another hour.

My question:
Couldn't he wait at least two weeks to bring his girlfriend and/or fuck buddy to work and give her a job??? Sheeesh!

P.S. I'm not the only one who noticed. It was that obvious. Oh, and thank Jehovah she left before story time. We would've had a wad of scared kids on our hands.


  1. i'm laughing at the director of your library owning a truck!

    ...sorry, 2 years in alberta seriously damaged me.

  2. wow. no seriously. i mean it.

    also- you forgot to identify this "Jehovah" of whom you speak. Are you referring to God, or is this a different Jehovah? I like clarity in these things now that I know there is a possibility that I may be mistaken...

  3. Mebbe someone should tell The Director that he is not being paid a bazillion dollars to shelve books. Criminey. Is this guy stupid or what?

    He'll prolly be fired by the time you get done with grad school, Andi. And then you can get his job.


  4. LOL, Ago. And it's not even a good truck, it's a little squatty Ford Ranger. Old silver color...kinda tarnished. Gotta love it!

  5. LOL, Suzz! Maybe you're right!! I don't think he'll be around long at all. Especially if the board of trustees comes in for their meeting and finds him frolicking with Lil Miss Fang.

  6. i just laughed OUT LOUD and scared all my coworkers. thank you for the clarification.

  7. LOL!!! Glad ot be of service. Tell 'em I said, "May Jehovah (God)" bless 'em."

  8. Wow she sounds scary. It's good to know that with my degree and love of books and libraries that people like these that you work with can get in easier than I can. Sigh...I'm not bitter.

    I swear!

  9. That was kinda my thinking, Heather. Could no one else be found? Most of the people I work with don't read. I still find this astounding and nauseatingly horrid.

  10. Oh, that sounds horrible. Oh, I could just cry! They don't even read??? OMG at my library they read at the circ desk while waiting for people to check out books! I've gotten a few recommendations that way!

  11. My boss has forbidden us to read at the circulation desk!!! Is there any wonder I'm taking the graduate assistantship instead of staying at the 'brary???!!!


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