Thursday, May 12, 2005

The cardinal sin....

Tonight I was incredibly ecstatically giddily excited about going to the book pre-sale at the library. It's really only for members of Friends of the Library, but the staff was invited, too. I went armed with my checkbook and a ponytail holder...for some serious book grubbing. I also had a hold come in today. I walked in and greeted my co-workers, including the slack-jawed bitch that's been nothing but a thorn in my ass since I've been there. She asked what I was doing at work when I don't have to work, and I told her book sale, etc. She exclaimed, "You're an hour early girly." I told her it started at five, she vehemently insisted that it started at six...she was wrong, etc. So off I went to shop.

Twenty minutes later I surfaced from the meeting room with 14 books for $10. I walked around the circ desk to say g'bye to everyone and bitch shrieks, "What on earth did you buy?!?"

"$10 worth," I replied.

She then proceeded to ask the most taboo question a booklover/intellectual can ever dream to hear, and up to this point I've never been asked.

"What kind of life do you have?" She stared. That slack-jawed-fish-face-glassy-eyed-stare-of-those-who-brag-about-not-having-read-a-book-since-high-school.

I stared back thinking, Is she *really* insinuating that I have no life because I read?

She explained, "Well, if all you do is read then what kind of life is that?" Yep, she went there.

"A rather busy one," I retorted. "I teach at the college, I work here, I read, I work out, I spend time with friends and family, I travel......"

She was still slack-jawed and her only reply was, "Oh."

I thought: At least I'm not a self-important moron whose only friend is her 17 year old co-worker. And by the way, your husband spent a good 10 minutes staring at my tits Monday night when he brought Jr. to storytime.

This woman and I will soon be brawling on the floor, I'm sure of it. If she's rude to me one more time I will wrap her in very sticky library tape and let the patrons throw rocks at her. They don't like her either.

TV: None
Music: Dave
Reading: HP and the Order of the Phoenix and Brick Lane
In my head: Methods of torture.

15 comments:

  1. As one who might have that slack-jawed-fish-face-glassy-eyed-stare-of-those-who-brag-about-not-having-read-a-book-since-high-school look, I would know better than to actually ask that to your face! Sounds like you did well with the books!

    Sounds like things are heating up in the library! I think that inviting the patrons to join in is a nice touch. Work on the webcast thing for this, too. Pay-per-view. I think you'd make a tidy little sum! And you could buy more books!!!!!

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  2. She works at a LIBRARY? Does she know what she does for a living? Maybe she's bitter 'cuz she hates bks and that's what she deals w/all day...

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  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  4. Hmm. Somehow I posted twice... Deleted the repeat.

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  5. Os,
    See! That's the difference...it's all about knowing not to ask the question! lol

    I'll see what I can do about setting up a webcast. Maybe I could throw in some Jello and make a little more extra cash.

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  6. Cher,
    No, I don't think she knows what she does. lol

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  7. Andi! You never fail to amaze me. Use duct tape on the witch and stick a tampon up her nose. She obviously needs the excitement in her life.
    =0)
    Diamond

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  8. LMAOOOO!!! Diamond!!! I didn't know you ever read here...and you had to come in with me cursing like a sailor. Oh well, I do it all the time. Screw it!

    I think the duct tape/tampon idea is classic. I'll be putting that plan into action as soon as possible.

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  9. Ewwww. It amazes me, the liberties people take with what they say to others.

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  10. That's a lot nicer way of putting it than I did. lol I came home raving. My mother was shocked, and then I think she just wanted to be stop cursing.

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  11. THAT BITCH!

    Now I can understand being an air-headed brat if you worked at The Gap or Burger King or Wal-Mart.

    Libraries and bookstores are the MECCAS of booklust and should be treated with utmost idolotry (sp?). The fact that this hussy has infiltrated the library is digusting.

    And Andi -- PLEASE list the books you bought. I'm such a book voyeur....

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  12. I wanna know too, what did you buy??? How can you tell us all that and fail to include such pertinent information?

    Cause you know, we don't have lives either!

    Ha! What a bitch. Can't wait til the day you tell us to drop-kicked her in the middle of storytime. I'm all for a webcast of that!

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  13. My thoughts exactly, Amanda. Oh, and our 17-year-old co-worker/bitch's best bud doesn't read. And broadcasts this fact around like it's nothin'. Urrrrg!

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  14. Heather,
    I think she's about to go out on maternity leave. Maybe I won't have to drop-kick her....I might scuff my shoes!

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  15. I'm always amazed that people cannot consider life without television. I killed my cable four years ago. I was raised on books, anyway. My sis and I had to read for an hour ahead of time if we wanted to watch 1/2 hour of TV. We wound up not caring for television, but being well-versed in everything that had struck our fancies.

    Good for you. Next time, as a gesture of goodwill, you could buy her a copy of DEENIE, or something.

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