Sleep eludes me, so what better to do than ramble online? I am at once pissed off, broken-hearted, giddily exhausted, and I feel bloated. This should be fun.
On my way out of the college tonight, after giving my final final, I saw, on the back of an aged Prizm, a window decal that said, "I LOVE JEHOVAH." Nothing special, right?? Ohhhh so wrong. In parentheses, just under and to the right of JEHOVAH it said, "(God)." There was a Bible in the back window. There were Christian bumper stickers as far as the eye could see, yet the person still felt compelled to clarify who Jehovah is exactly. As if the reader might think Jehovah is the love child of Jerry Garcia and Tammy Fay Baker. A preacher came to mind, standing stern, regal in his pulpit shouting, "I LOVE JEHOVAH!!!" and taking a moment out to whisper, "Hey, that's God ya know..."
Since I can't sleep, I went scrambling through my CD collection (what isn't blessed enough at the moment to be in the car CD carrier) and pulled out some Dave Matthews. I'm beginning to feel quite nostalgic since they have a new CD coming out on the 10th. I had completely forgotten that I made a 2-disc burned set that I LOOOOOVED when I was in college with a fast internet connection and no Napster restrictions. When I'm 80 I'll be the old granny with no stories of how she smoked pot and had wild sex, but I shall certainly tell of how I unabashedly downloaded hour upon hour of Dave Matthews Band songs and the coveted Dave-speak. But I digress. In order to listen to the CD on my discman, which I prefer to do at night when I'm attempting to sleep, I had to find some batteries. I have a bad habit of emptying the available batteries with any little bit of juice out of the things around me late at night when I'm trying to tease the discman to life, so my remote controls were drained and out of the question. I was terribly proud of myself when I managed to sneak through the house and out into the garage for more AA's without waking up my mother or any of the dogs. I even managed to sneak back in, use the bathroom, and grab a light bulb for my bedside lamp with no waking. Arrived back in my room, put on the Storytellers CD, listened for a while and decided to try out the other CD. Wouldn't play. Damn burned CD's, you can never trust 'em. Then I tried Storytellers again...no go. At this point I'm gettin' pissed. I frolick over to the CD tower and start poking around for the Dave CD I had in mind to start with, and I can't find it. Everything falls out of the top compartment, and I give up the fight and sit down on the carpet, toppling ass-backwards onto a rogue shoe almost breaking my tailbone in the process. After sifting through the thoroughly fucked up CD selection (nothing's in the right case) I ended up with the Best of Aware Records. A far cry from Dave, but at this point I'm just glad to be alive.
I already know I don't want to go to work tomorrow. If this sleeplessness lasts I may not be able to scrape myself up, and if I do scrape myself up I will only want to throw on my workout clothes and go for a few-hour walk. I have catching up to do. Food, the smell of food, the thought of food, etc. nauseates me, so the diet shouldn't be a problem for a bit. The last thing I feel like doing is smiling at strangers for eight hours. Handling their dirty books and smelling their overwhelmingly nicotine-and-tar-clotted auras.
Reading: Not sure yet...I'm eyeing a few things.
In my head: Bitterness and disappointment.