Thursday, May 05, 2005

Library Oddities vol. 2

I woke up with the squirmy, this-is-gonna-be-a-shyi9tty-day feeling. Alas, I'm terribly excited that I was wrong. Super-wench wasn't there today, and it was relatively peaceful with the exception of a few entertaining/freaky patrons.

First was Little Man Tight Wad. He approached the desk with four books in hand and proceeded to explain that he's going on vacation for a few weeks, and he won't be back in time to renew...could he renew now? Before even leaving?? L and I made an executive decision to say no because my boss is being a hardass about policy. We have a new director coming in Monday, so we need to be prim and proper. We offered to let him renew over the phone later, etc. but he's going to Mexico so that wasn't an option. He reallyyyy didn't want to pay two days of late fees. Keep in mind a late fee is 25 cents per day per book. So, two days at 25 cents for four books would be a grand total of two dollars. He finally decided to let us put the books on hold, and he'll pick them up tomorrow. Saving him one dollar. It'll cost him more in gas to get to the library to pick them up a day later than it would've been to just pay the effin' fine.

Next was the woman and her 9 children. N-i-n-e. It really made me want to remove my uterus. And she homeschools. To make a long story short, she wanted to renew her card and the children's cards, plus a $1.00 each replacement fee for new cards, plus the ungodly late fees that had stacked up on the old cards. A grand total of $62.95. Little Man Tight Wad would've shat himself, I'm sure of it.

And my personal favorite. Just to recap first, I attend two face-to-face book discussion groups, one of which meets the third Tuesday night of every month, and today's which meets on the first Wednesday. We discuss whatever we've been reading, yadda, blah blah. One of the ladies from the Tuesday night group showed up at today's meeting. We see her at least twice a day in the library as it is, and I really find her enjoyable to chat with, so I was happy to see her at the meeting. Later, after the meeting was over, she approached the circ desk to ask me about some of the members of the in particular that writes for the local paper. This led to a conversation (somehow) on how the local hospital is a deathtrap. Val and Clack can attest to this, I'm sure. Anyhow, this particular an interesting character as is: tall, stocky, super-short blonde hair with a "tail"...circa 1988...lots of shirts with fish and dolphins on them, tons of health problems that she's more than happy to discuss, and apparently her mother was a scholar with a British accent that LS still throws back to occasionally. Today, when we got onto the topic of the deathtrap she explained to me that a while back she stopped taking her herbs (which ones, I didn't ask) and had a gushing rushing tidal wave of blood emerge from between her legs. Which leads me to wonder where the herbs were taken exactly, but that's neither here nor there. If it wasn't enough that she was loudly telling me about her massive blood flow, she continued by explaining that the Doogie Howser ER doctor that examined her couldn't find her cervix with a map and a flashlight. And as she put it, "I've birthed four children, so I KNOW I have one!!"

I'll save the nutcase, that picks our library garden roses and gives them to us claiming that he's grown them, for another time.

TV: Dead to the world.
Music: Do I even have to say it?
Reading: Beasts and The Collector of Hearts: New Tales of the Grotesque, by Joyce Carol Oates

P.S. I refuse to correct the typos. I'm laptop shopping, so I'll soon be able to spot the typos before they get published.


  1. I haven't taken Dr. Claw out of the box yet (so to speak). I'll let you use it if you need it...

  2. Glad the terrible feeling was a liar.

    Enjoy the wierdnes that is public libraries

  3. Ah.... the sometimes terrible hilarity of the library..... By the way I was homeschooled from 2nd grade until my junior year of high school and we were at the library ALL THE TIME. My family only consisted of three kids (not 9), we were baptist (not penecostal), and considered the "liberals." Thats really hysterical if you knew my family. No rock music, no boys, and Bob Jones university textbooks. My math textbook had word problems like: If Noah's ark is so ____ big and ______ animals can fit per square foot; then how many animals can Noah have on the ark????"

    I don't recommend homeschooling to anyone. Although I do tell my parents if they hadn't been the controlling, right-wing, fundamentalist christians they were then I might not have turned out to be the radical feminist I am today... (snicker)

  4. So do you think people w/large families who homeschool are nut-nuts?

  5. Oops. I forgot to ask a question. Do Pentecostals tend to have large families?

    I think I'm going to post something on my own blog about things that are "radical."

  6. Cher,
    I thought it important to address your comment first: No, I don't think large fams are nuts, I just think it makes my life more difficult as a circ worker. However, I do think it's nuts that they're allowed to have another library card when they lost some of our books and ran up such ungodly late fees. Such irresponsible library use gives me HIVES!!!

  7. You're too kind, Os!!!

    LOL, thanks, Fence!

  8. Amanda,
    How did being home schooled for so long affect you in the long run?? Besides making your the radical feminist you are today?? Was it hard to be among people in a classroom setting?? I have a home-schooled student in my night class is why I ask. :o)

    The word problems crack me up! Love it!

  9. I'm glad I didn't post a comment about large families then... Though I am kinda sad that I don't get to...

    So I take it you finally figured out who your boss is?

  10. Academically it was good. I was able to cultivate my love of books and writing. However I had virtually no friends and was pretty sheltered. I was raised on the parenting methodology of Dr. James Dobson and Jerry Falwell. When I did go to high school I went wild. I ended up dropping out 3 times, going to jail for drug possession, and getting in bad relationships, and getting pregnant. My grades were excellent the whole time and so I still got into college. Once I had my daughter I calmed down. Since I got pregnant there's been no drugs and drinking. I just think education is more than academics. Children need to have a diversified environment and learn to deal with different social situations.

  11. Amanda: What does "radical feminism" mean to you?
    For some it means the feminism of Josephine Butler (raise male moral standards to the same bar as female standards), for others it means the feminism of Germaine Greer (to hell w/moral standards), and for others its that of Margaret Sanger (well, n/m she was psycho we-need-to-kill-the-degenerates), for others its the women are just like men movement, and then there are others who take the "women are superior to men" route.

  12. Amanda,
    Thanks for your comment. It always seemed to me that there would be some cost to the lack of socialization that would come from homeschooling....if one didn't have enough social contact in some other context, that is.

  13. By radical feminism I mean that women are equal to men but we are different. A liberal feminist believes in straight equality across the board (men and women should be treated the same). Therefore a liberal feminist would say that a woman should do the same job the same way as a man with no "special" treatment. This sets the male way of doing things as the level of normalacy and achievement. Radical feminism believes that while a woman is capable of doing the same job as a man one should recognize that she is different and may choose to do uniquely feminine things. For example, a woman may choose to be a mother and as that is a societal job, in essence, she should be supported (i.e. materinity leave, universal healthcare, adequete daycare...). Radical feminism doesn't attempt to make a woman "like a man", but rather embraces the feminine. Hope this makes sense. I minored in gender studies in college and we had heated debates about this....


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