I woke up with the squirmy, this-is-gonna-be-a-shyi9tty-day feeling. Alas, I'm terribly excited that I was wrong. Super-wench wasn't there today, and it was relatively peaceful with the exception of a few entertaining/freaky patrons.
First was Little Man Tight Wad. He approached the desk with four books in hand and proceeded to explain that he's going on vacation for a few weeks, and he won't be back in time to renew...could he renew now? Before even leaving?? L and I made an executive decision to say no because my boss is being a hardass about policy. We have a new director coming in Monday, so we need to be prim and proper. We offered to let him renew over the phone later, etc. but he's going to Mexico so that wasn't an option. He reallyyyy didn't want to pay two days of late fees. Keep in mind a late fee is 25 cents per day per book. So, two days at 25 cents for four books would be a grand total of two dollars. He finally decided to let us put the books on hold, and he'll pick them up tomorrow. Saving him one dollar. It'll cost him more in gas to get to the library to pick them up a day later than it would've been to just pay the effin' fine.
Next was the woman and her 9 children. N-i-n-e. It really made me want to remove my uterus. And she homeschools. To make a long story short, she wanted to renew her card and the children's cards, plus a $1.00 each replacement fee for new cards, plus the ungodly late fees that had stacked up on the old cards. A grand total of $62.95. Little Man Tight Wad would've shat himself, I'm sure of it.
And my personal favorite. Just to recap first, I attend two face-to-face book discussion groups, one of which meets the third Tuesday night of every month, and today's which meets on the first Wednesday. We discuss whatever we've been reading, yadda, blah blah. One of the ladies from the Tuesday night group showed up at today's meeting. We see her at least twice a day in the library as it is, and I really find her enjoyable to chat with, so I was happy to see her at the meeting. Later, after the meeting was over, she approached the circ desk to ask me about some of the members of the group...one in particular that writes for the local paper. This led to a conversation (somehow) on how the local hospital is a deathtrap. Val and Clack can attest to this, I'm sure. Anyhow, this particular woman...LS....is an interesting character as is: tall, stocky, super-short blonde hair with a "tail"...circa 1988...lots of shirts with fish and dolphins on them, tons of health problems that she's more than happy to discuss, and apparently her mother was a scholar with a British accent that LS still throws back to occasionally. Today, when we got onto the topic of the deathtrap she explained to me that a while back she stopped taking her herbs (which ones, I didn't ask) and had a gushing rushing tidal wave of blood emerge from between her legs. Which leads me to wonder where the herbs were taken exactly, but that's neither here nor there. If it wasn't enough that she was loudly telling me about her massive blood flow, she continued by explaining that the Doogie Howser ER doctor that examined her couldn't find her cervix with a map and a flashlight. And as she put it, "I've birthed four children, so I KNOW I have one!!"
I'll save the nutcase, that picks our library garden roses and gives them to us claiming that he's grown them, for another time.
TV: Dead to the world.
Music: Do I even have to say it?
Reading: Beasts and The Collector of Hearts: New Tales of the Grotesque, by Joyce Carol Oates
P.S. I refuse to correct the typos. I'm laptop shopping, so I'll soon be able to spot the typos before they get published.