Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Stop looking at me!!!

Have you all noticed that people can't get away with anything anymore without the local or national news butting in and projectile vomiting it all over your TV and computer screens??? For heaven's sake, a person can't ditch their fiance by faking their own kidnapping, can't launder money, can't expose their wee to a 12-year-old boy, can't even kill anyone or set a church on fire without being ratted out by the damn media. What is the world coming to when we don't have the privacy to break the law or make general asses of ourselves without everyone knowing about it?? I bet Katie Couric and Matt Lauer would be pretty upset if they were told on. If everyone knew that Katie likes to dress like a nympho elf and sacrifice squirrels on her homemade altar, or if everyone knew that Matt has a secret Man Boy Love Association stash under those Sports Illustrated's in his dressing room loo. How about Brendan Higgins on Dallas local news??? He hired a speech therapist to help with his teleprompter stumblings and dressed him up like a cabana boy named Jesus so no one would know the truth. And certainly not least, Dave Matthews isn't telling anyone that he's no longer pissy and high and that's why DMB is starting to sound like Neil Diamond and Rosemary Clooney's secret hot pig sex tapes. The media will get wind of it sooner or later, and I guarantee it'll be all over the place. Down with the media...nosey bastards.

**Inspired by the morning news and an overactive imagination. No egos were harmed during the brainstorming of this post.

12 comments:

  1. It's just one of those days. lol

    *smooch*

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  2. Wow! Feel better?

    Does that mean the new DMB sounds like Ned Beatty caught in the rear by wild mountain man?

    Say it isn't soooooo!!!

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  3. LMAO! Actually, I wish it sounded a bit more like that...would be more exciting.

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  4. Wait a minute! I thought your muse was out smoking! There's alot here to talk about....

    First off, I've seen Neil Diamond in concert. The man has more sex appeal in his pinkie than the combined appeal of all the males in the audience. I felt fairly inadequate throughout the whole concert. And back in the day--Rosemary was fairly hot, in that 40s/50s way. So I would appreciate a better description. Like Britney & Kevin conceiving their demon spawn....

    And while I agree with the whole media intrusion, I still want to hear more about Katie and the squirrels. Any video of that could be fun...

    I'm sensing a general disappointment in the new DMB. I've heard that the new Rob Thomas CD was disappointing too. Music, in general, has gone way downhill over the past 6-7 years.

    On a much more upbeat note, I just found out that the Rolling Stones (who rarely ever disappoint) will be touring this summer and will sort of be in my neck of the woods (which, in MT, is anywhere withing a 750-mile radius). Checking out Portland or Salt Lake City. I've got conflicts with the other "local" dates.

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  5. The muse ran out of cigs, apparently!!! I could post 3 or 4 more entries, but that might be pushing it for one day. Ya think??

    I don't even wanna think at length about the Neil Diamond thing. I am in denial that he even has a penis.

    I have pics of Katie and the squirrels, will e-mail you offlist. It's the biggest thing the Star has ever not gotten hold of. It should be right there next to "Grandmother Gives Birth to Bat Boy" but it's not...it's in my sock drawer.

    General disappointment with Dave is corretamundo. I haven't even bothered with the Rob Thomas album. The video was enough to make my nipples run and hide, it was soo baddd.

    The Stones!!! Woot! Good luck making it to a show! And on another Dave-related note...because I love him so much and am so bummed about this shitty album...one of my fave MP3's is Dave and Mick singing Wild Horses. *swoon*

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  6. of course now you run the chance of having all sorts of nambla members, pig sex afficianados, elf lovers etc...stumbling onto your site via yahoo searches. I've found this out the hard way and am still alarmed when people looking for Nazi skins, Nuwaubian Moors and other assorted frightening idiots I've mentioned wind up on my page thanks to Yahoo. Last week the query was "gay midget sex in Dallas", why that brought up my page I don't know, but I assume my visitor went away disappointed as he/she hasn't been back.

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  7. LOLLL, Trick!! I didn't think about the possible outcome of my nympho elf and Man Boy Love mentions, but I'm sure some freaks will now roll in because of it. Alas, as you said, they will likely be disappointed, but maybe it'll add an extra comic element to my lil corner of the blogosphere.

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  8. secret. hot. pig. sex.


    It's why I love Andi . . .

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  9. Thank you, DenaLouAnn. *smooches*

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  10. Ah but just think how innocent everyone would be without this unwarranted intrusion. Go on, think.

    To use my new catchphrase "God Wills It" (yes, I've been to see Kingdom of Heaven)

    Oh, was off work sick yesterday (little cold) so am catching up on general netty type things.

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  11. Good point, Fence. And there'd be far fewer entries on my blog without the media and general stupidity. :oD

    Hope you're feeling much better.

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