It's all still here, it's just too much to see and read over every time I blog. To read the post highlight the white space with your cursor.
This morning I found out that one of my closest friends has cancer. Crystal is 24, she's a teacher, she's gorgeous and sweet. She was having some problems with her eye...some redness and blurred vision. She thought it was Pink Eye, but it turned out to be a tumor nestled between her brain and her optic nerve. The week after she found out she went to a neurosurgeon and he removed all that he could. She lost sight in her right eye. She says she can live with that...it's better than the alternative. She hasn't worked her normal teaching job since the beginning of April, but she's subbing to ease back into work. She goes back to the doctor in July to find out if what's left of the tumor is growing again and if she'll need chemo or radiation. I saw her in March, and all of this happened in April.
We met during the summer between our Junior and Senior years of college. There are three of us....Amanda, Crystal, and me. They're the only people I went to college with that I get together with on a regular basis. They're wonderful, funny, sweet, talented. I've posted about them before. I admire them greatly. We don't get to see each other as often as we'd like. Crystal teaches full time in a high school and middle school and works with kids in lots of academic extracurriculars. She's dating a guy we went to college with named Terry. Crystal wants to go to law school. Amanda teaches high school Spanish, coaches the dance team, and teaches dance classes at a studio. She's also a clogger in her free time (how she has any, I don't know).
Sometimes we go a month or so without talking because we're busy, and we're spread out an hour apart in each direction. We never thought so much could happen in a month. She didn't tell us until now because it was a blur and because she didn't want to burden us. That's just the way she is.
This morning I am angry. I'm angry that Crystal is going through this, and I'm upset that we weren't there for her. It's incredibly unfair that someone so innately good should have to deal with this much painful shit. She says she knows God has a plan for her, she just wishes she could see it. I know she's right, but I'm still pissed at Him for putting her through this. I've been crying all morning, walking around in a daze, and thinking of how stupid my problems are. It doesn't really matter how fucked up my jobs are, it doesn't really matter if the phone rings, and anything I say on this blog doesn't matter. What matters is that my friend is struggling and I love her very much. If you pray, pray for her.