Monday, June 06, 2005

My lesbian wives and girlfriends....

I had Steph and Ago in mind the other day when I absotively posolutely decided who my lesbian wife would be if I were going to have a lesbian wife. Now, 2-3 days later, I CANNOT, to save my life, remember who it was. I think that would make me, among lesbians, the equivalent of a dick-headed man. And in the spirit of dick-headedness, here's a list of possible lesbian girlfriends, since I can't remember who my lesbian wife would be (taking off life-promise ring and stuffing it in pocket):

Amy Lee (of course)
Allison Janney
Fergie
Kate Winslet (strong contender for wife)
Ashley Judd's character from Double Jeopardy
J.K. Rowling

I'm sure I could go on and on, but we'll leave it at this. Who would your lesbian girlfriend or man-toy be?

33 comments:

  1. So have we been drinking all weekend too? Where do you come up with this shit? And Dizzy Gillespie???

    I'd love to give you an answer here, but I've never spent a moment ever thinking of the question in my life. I fear that I'm going to lose sleep tonight over this one....

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  2. And thank you for posting something so that I don't have to see the words "menstrual clots" at the top of the page!

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  3. Can't we all just be lesbians?

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  4. LOL, hope I didn't offend you, Os. These things just pop into the head once in a while.

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  5. Vex,
    Aren't you already a lesbian?

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  6. you are SO weird...and please email me your address so i can get you invited to my baby shower. and k and l's if you have em!!

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  7. Clack,
    You flatter me so!!! Will e-mail you! Yay for buns! The one in the oven that is!

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  8. Lesbian trapped in a mans body. Strangely I'm OK with that.

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  9. Recreational lesbianism is the new straight.

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  10. cj- when's the shower???

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  11. kay, so why is no one posting their list of lesbian wives and girlfriends? mine are (and we all know the top of the list and are sick of hearing about her but ynh is setting up a meeting and i am so excited!):

    Jessica Alba (wife)
    Poppy Montgomery
    Lisa Ray
    Stacy Dash
    Ivana Santilli
    Liane Balaban (although she and Ivana could stand to eat Nicole Ritchie. i no like my girls so skinny)

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  12. not tom cruise.

    i am not turning to scientology for that biznatch.

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  13. Vex,
    As well you should be. I'd worry if you weren't.

    Mr. VegASS,
    Thanks for telling me. I'm never in style, damnit, with my hetero'ness.

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  14. Ago,
    I don't know half of those lovelies. Here I go...to Google image search!

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  15. hey val. i THINK its july 2nd. shall you be in town by any chance??? :) if you were you would get invited so fast it would make your head spin...

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  16. I might have to fight ago for Jessica Alba!

    Gwyneth Paltrow
    Catherine Zeta Jones
    Kate Winslet
    Tori Amos

    or, if I'm craving a little bit of butch, Jeanette Winterson.

    Now, not in a lesbian sense, but I wish Toni Morrison was my mother. Don't ask me why.

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  17. ummmm- wow - Fergie huh? Very interesting..... :)

    Here is a sampling of my list (mmmm.... gurls are so pretty!!)


    Portia De Rossi (wife- mother of my children, hottest woman ever)
    Nikki Cox (OMG)
    Catherine Zeta Jones
    Sarah Michelle Gellar

    and I soooooooooo would do Brittney (as long as she didn't speak)

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  18. LOL, Johnny. I wouldn't do anything for Cruise and his droopy man-boobs.

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  19. Amanda,
    I can undestand the Toni Morrison-as-mother thing. I might go for Maya Angelou as my mother, too. There's something comforting about fluffy, smart, writerly black women.

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  20. Steph,
    I knew I could count on you to give your 2 cents. Although, I'm shocked about Portia De Rossi. She's so....boney.

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  21. And, Steph, you do know I meant Fergie from the Black-Eyed Peas, right?? She could crack walnuts with her abs. Although British royalty is not out of the question. I kinda covered that base with JK Rowling though...since she has more money than the queen and all.

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  22. yeah im not usually into boney but damn she just looks so friggin sweet...... and that hair. I bet it smells like strawberries.

    I need a moment alone now.

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  23. amanda, i might share jessica with you...just for a night! as long as you're ok with YNH taking pictures. and thanks to you and steph for reminding me of my love of Catherine Zeta-Jones. when i saw Zorro, all i could do was drool and say was, "wow, she is so beautiful, i love her, i want to be her!" but not so much now, just in Zorro, i really dug her earthy swarthy-ness...

    steph (re: britney)...or bring her dirty trailer husband! "we have sex 15 times a day! the sex is soooo great! did i mention that we have sex like 15 times a day?" talk about a child that should immediately be placed in foster care!

    andi, did you google my other girls? do you approve?

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  24. Steph,
    I was thinking mango for the hair scent. Strawberries is a possibility, too.

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  25. Ago,
    I haven't yet! But I'm off to do just that!

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  27. Oh, and Shakira! How could I forget Shakira!

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  28. Shakira!!! Her booty gives J-Lo's a run for the mo-nay!

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  29. my friend's cousin is dating Ivana Santilli and apparently she's a real cunt-a kentay.

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  30. I would be my own lesbian wife after having a few of my lower ribs removed.

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  31. She's hot, though! And that's what really matters.

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  32. I used to have a picture downloaded of that. Found it somewhere off-the-wall and kept it for posterity. But it was a man. Surprise.

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