It's 1:48AM, I can't sleep. I've tried all my usual methods: reading, watching HGTV, thinking, tossing, turning, rolling around, a glass of water. At this point in my utter desperation I would normally try pharmaceutical coercion, but it's too late if I'm even going to attempt dragging my sleepy-drooped ass out of bed in the morning. If I'm being a realist, I'm probably going to wake up around 8, call in sick, and crawl back to my bed. At least I know the library is well-covered tomorrow and it won't destroy anything if I'm not there to grace the place.
In the meantime, an enlightening story.
I was watching the 10:00 news the other night and they were reporting on a bear roaming a residential neighborhood. It was shot with a tranquilizer and was in fine health at the time of the report. The kicker in all this: the bear was shown trotting atop a brick wall and jumping down. The angle was from the back side of the bear. They blurred the bear's private parts. Britney Spears can spread her cracks all over our TV screens, people can be mangled and chipped to death on Lost, but heaven forbid the children of America should see a bear cooch.