Sunday, July 10, 2005

Ago-go interviews moi....

Here are the instructions:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions -- each person's will be different.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

1. if you were to go back to high school knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

I gave a titch too much of a fuck about what people thought of me in high school up until my junior year or so. I would go back and not give even a bit of a fuck. I started my high school career hanging out with a bunch of snooty bitches, but I still intermingled with other groups, and I eventually latched on to a wonderful batch o'ladies (and Keith), with whom I felt velly comfortable and intellectually stimulated. I was involved in every club imaginable, helped throw the most wicked-ass prom in school history, and shocked the pants off of everyone as a senior when I pierced my tongue. In a school of 250 students news travels fast.

2) you are on American Idol (and presumably you can sing). what do you sing to win them over? oh, and what do you wear?

I can sing! Although, I'm still not sure what I would sing so I'll pull a song out of my ass and say I'd sing Hurt Me, recorded by Leann Rimes when she still sounded like Patsy Cline. It would allow me to wail and be sensitive and then wail some more. It was a popular request when I used to sing for people.

The smartass answer to the outfit question: band-aids and a fig leaf.

The real answer: The outfit is a toss-up. I like things clean and classy and simple, so the American Idol stylists would be pissed off and out of luck if they tried to put me in sequin pasties and a rhinestone-encrusted sari. I would probably go for a ass-hugging pair of designer jeans, up-to-there black spike heels, a black sweater that could barely contain Rebecca and Howard, and a black leather jacket. Makes the blonde and the blue eyes pop you know.

3. the world is going to end unless you sleep with one of the two ugliest men in the world (in my opinion): Kevin Federline or Snoop Dog. who do you have sex with and why?

As shocking as it is even to me, I'd have to go with Snoop. With all the gin-n-juice he'd be chugging I doubt he could get it up in the first place, and if he could, we all know what position it would be, so I wouldn't have to look at him.

4) how do you know when you're in love? and do you believe in love at first sight?

In my opinion love at first sight is a crock.

As for knowing when in love. I'm pretty dense for a chick, and I usually don't even realize I like someone until years after the first conversation. As for love, you know you're in it when a) it doesn't hurt b) you're mind-bendingly proud just to stand next to someone c) that verse, 1 Corinthians 13:4, applies to the situation. Whether you're a Christian or not, that verse makes a damn fine point.

5) has anyone seen you wearing your librarian undies yet?

Not yet! I've worn them once, though, and they're so cuuuute!

On TV: Overboard (Goldie Hawn at her peak).
Music: Coldplay
In my head: -edited for content- and no, it's not sexual.

21 comments:

  1. Interview me, woman. Like you mean it this time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i enjoyed both the questions and answers
    cool beans!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nicely answered! I want to know more about your singing--I think I remember reading something in old posts about that. And your outfit sounds like Olivia Fig-Newton-John in "Grease".

    Finally--just when I was getting to the point that I could come back to your site and not go ga-ga over your eyes, you put up your lips. Heavy sigh....

    ReplyDelete
  4. Interview me!

    by the way I TOTALLY agree that Snoop would be better than Kev Fed. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Toddsky and Amanda,
    Questions to come! I've gotta think up some realy zingers for you two.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks, Corinna!

    Os,
    I'm changing immediately if you think it sounds like ole Olivia!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Os,
    Not a whole lot to tell about the singing. I can! lol I was in choir for a piece when I was younger, people liked hearing me, but I never sang in public (although I was asked to sing at weddings and in talent shows) because I had crippling stage fright. Blah!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Love the new pic!
    Interview me too if you like.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Me, me, me!!! *raises arm and waves frantically across the room* I wanna play too!

    And ewww K. Fed is way nasty. Yuck!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Todd,

    1. You are fit to be a comedian, so if you were, what would be your signature "bit"?

    2. Have you ever worn a thong? If not, what occasion might be enough to convince you to do so?

    3. What is the stupidest thing you did before the age of 18?

    4. What's the perfect woman like? Explain in detail.

    5. If you were musically inclinded and decided to start a band, what would you name it? Discuss.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Amanda,

    1. If you could start a non-profit, which cause would you choose to champion? Why?

    2. Who is the most admirable woman of all time? Discuss.

    3. What is the sexiest piece of underwear that you own? Describe in detail.

    4. If you could assassinate a stupid world leader and would never be caught, what method would you use?

    5. What is the sexiest part of the male body?

    ReplyDelete
  12. R.,

    1. If you could create a new girly drink that would be the next big thing to sweep college campuses, bars, and restaurants across the country, what would it have in it and, more importantly, what would you name it?

    2. What musical artist would you categorize as "better than chocolate"...or sex...whichever you prefer.

    3. What is the best Halloween costume you've ever seen? Describe in detail.

    4. If you could drop out of life for a two week vacation where would you run away to?

    5. If you met the perfect woman, felt a great spiritual and intellectual connection, even felt yourself falling in love, but found out she doesn't believe in shaving any of her body hair, how would you handle it?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Heather,

    1. If you could have free plastic surgery and had to pick a body part, what would you have done?

    2. If you became a famous novelist, what would be the first three stops on your fantastically luxurious book tour?

    3.Describe your perfect kiss.

    4. If money was no object, what lavish gift would you like to receive for Christmas? And don't say "oh, nothing." ;o)

    5. Would you ever consider a piercing or tattoo? Where or what would it be?

    ReplyDelete
  14. OH I need to get in on this ... hopefully I'm not to late to apply for the interview!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Against my better judgement--bring it on!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I know that I am late but interview me too, please.

    ReplyDelete
  17. David, Cincy, and Os,

    I'll get your questions posted tomorrow! I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open, but I finished a great book!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh oh Pick me! I wanna do it too!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sam,

    1. If you were a stripper what would your act consist of and what would your stripper name be?

    2. If you were walking across your lawn at night what's the worst think you can imagine stepping in, and what would be the first thing out of your mouth if you did?

    3. Which would you rather have: the most expensive, sexy car of your dreams or an unlimited budget to re-decorate your home? Discuss.

    4. Do you have any unusual or downright freakishly freaky talents?

    5. What's your eyeshadow color of choice? What does it say about you?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks! I'm working on my answers right now!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for taking the time to comment! I respond to comments individually by e-mail and/or here on the site. I value community above all else in blogging, and talking with you all is the highlight of my blogging day!