As much as I loathe my library job sometimes, it provides a number of firsts. Yesterday I had a run-in with my first angry midget.
I was calmly sauntering to the circ desk after returning from my lunch break. We have a cart of sale books out front...hardbacks $1, paperbacks 50 cents. At first glance I thought he was any ole man on his knees looking at the books, but then I realized his bent legs didn't extend as far out as one might expect. It was kinda like Dorf lookin' at books.
I twirled to the back and whispered excitedly, "L, there's a bonafide midget out front!"
"I know, he's been here before."
She's no fun.
The excitement of having a midget in the 'brary didn't last long. I went back out front, took my place at the computer and resumed my twiddling of thumbs. A few minutes later our little patron scurried to the front desk, his eyes barely visible over the curve of the marble desk top, and he thrusted a book at me.
Midget: "Do you know what this book is?!?"
Midget: "Does anyone know how important this book is?"
Me: "Apparently not. They go through all of them before they put them out for sale."
Midget: "This is an important historical text!!!" *shaking book*
Me: "You're welcome to buy it for $1. I guess they didn't think we needed it in the collection."
Midget: "They'll probably just replace it with some modern B.S." *snarf, snarl*
And then he didn't even buy the fuckin' book!!! If someone is going to make that big a stink about us selling the book, they'd better buy the piece of crap!