Friday, July 29, 2005

Ass Pain

Yesterday was a bad day. I can only be incredibly thankful that today was better or I might've slit my wrists with a Lady Bic.

There's a particularly bitchy old fashion plate that comes into the library once a week with her very nice husband (he's embarrassed by can see it three miles away).

Once, out of the kindness of my heart, I renewed a movie for them that they hadn't had a chance to watch. This is against policy. Movies are NEVER supposed to be renewed, but like the Norman I am sometimes, I did it to be nice. Bad Andi!

Sunday she and scrubby hubby came in, her attitude tromping 18 feet in front of her, and they plopped their movies up on the desk (instead of putting them in the book return for the 1,400th time) and asked me to renew their movie.

Me: I'm sorry, I know I renewed one before, but I'm really not supposed to.

Mega-bitch: But you did it last time.

Me: And we shouldn't make a habit of it.

Mega-bitch: *super radioactive death glare* She leaves her Wal-Mart sack on the desk and hobbles off in her 6-inch heels and J-Lo sunglasses.

I throw her Wal-Mart bag away out of habit and continue about my business. When she returns to the desk with an armload of movies I check their movies out to them and she asks for a bag. I look under the desk, see that our stash has been depleted (not even thinking of the one she hurled at me earlier and that I, in turn, hurled into the trash) and tell her that I'm very sorry, but we're out. Bad Andi!

Mega-bitch: I LEFT one here when we came in.

Me: *wanting to crawl under the desk away from the snarl*"I apologize ma'am. I threw yours away without thinking. *fishing it out of the trash and hoping it was resting comforably up against a massive snot-clod*

Me again: "Next time you might want to take your sack with you so it isn't given to another patron or thrown away." I say this to everyone.

Mega-bitch: "I've left it up here EVERY OTHER time."

Me: *thrusting movies at her with barely contained contempt* Have a nice day. --insert shitty grin here--

It irked me, but I went on with my day, and it turned out decent.

YESTERDAY, I went to the 'brary for a going away party for one of our reference desk workers. She's leaving to start student teaching (bless her soul). In mid-bite of a roast beef andwich I hear L giggle. She proceeds to tell me that Mega-bitch had just come into the library and was complaining about how I'd informed her that she couldn't get a bag anymore even if she brought it in because we don't have enough. What the holy HELL?

At that point the top of my head popped off and out flew the jack-in-the-box that lives in my head. He boxed my ears and reminded me how stupid it was to keep this job even when I didn't get the $10 an hour I was hired for and the Saturdays off.

Moral of this story: It must be exhausting to be such an asshole all the time, so I'm not exactly sure how people do it.


  1. People never cease to amaze me. They are piles of shit with a face.

  2. Give me her phone number and I'll stalk her from here.

  3. Andi-

    Holy balls. That's crazy. I'm sorry that things went to shit. I would offer to make things right but A) I have no power over time and / or space (I know, this comes as a shock to me as well) and B) I come strolling into town on a horse after leaving the neighborhood to seek my fortune / employment. Anyway, hope tomorrow's better.


  4. Being an asshole is an art, or a vocation. A good asshole has to put in many, many years to perfect the required nuances to truly offend everybody. The fact that her husband doesn't want to be there means she's perfected it. You were in the presence of true greatness. You should have bowed down at her feet.

    Though she probably would have found fault with that, too.

  5. Todd,
    Couldn't have said it better myself.

    I have access to everything but her panty size. I'll get that number for you promptly.

  6. TIM!!! Look at you posting away. Missed you muchly and hope you stumbled upon a bag of golden dubloons or something on your journey. I'll head over to your blog today and find out for meself.

    Os, Damn. I always forget to get the good autographs.

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  8. I've always wondered where people get the energy to be jerks, myself. Its SO tiring! Imagine how exhausted that woman must be at the end of the day.

  9. How does one get a job at a library? I have always wanted to work there, but I've heard that you have to have some kind of special degree or something...

  10. Amanda,
    It depends on what job you do within the library. I work as a circulation peon--checking in and out books, shelving, doing paperwork--and I don't need a library degree. If you wanna be a full-blown librarian it requires a Masters of Library and Information Science degree. After this experience, I may not bother with that particular Masters. lol

  11. if you work in any customer service field, there is always that one obligatory repeat-customer-jack-ass. I think it's a law or something.

  12. Storm,
    True, but it doesn't make me hate it any less. I want to be a hermit for a living. Think anyone would pay me for that??

  13. Assholes...You have to hate'em, but if they weren't around what would we all blog about?

    Atleast we get the last word.

  14. Ryan,
    You're absolutely right. We always win. I feel so much better. ;o)

  15. i pretty much refuse to work with the public i really really admire you for being able to keep your cool infront of people like that. seriously.
    that brary is super lucky to have you :)

  16. Andi,

    I am quite sure the Normans would not love this person.

  17. couldnt that lady just use her arms to carry the movies?

    egg her house

  18. Corinna,
    I *hope* I never have to work in this customer service capacity again. Every time I say that I do, though.

  19. LOL, Suzz! I'm pretty sure you're right. I like to think they'd all shoot spitballs at her beehive if they met her.

  20. Sherri,
    That would've been too simple for her, I think. I'd rather egg her than the house. But I'll take what I can get.

  21. Lets hope the bitch is incontinent

  22. AMS,
    I'm pretty sure it's an affirmative on the incontinence. She looks pissy all the time.


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