Monday, August 29, 2005

Drama Squelched, Assorted Goodies

--The latest and greatest Onion headlines:

  • New Strain of Jet Lag Devastates Airline Industry
  • U.S. Blowjobless Rate at All-Time High
  • Dave Matthews Not That Into Himself Anymore
  • --John Irving was on The Daily Show tonight, and he related a story about the time he tried to heimlich maneuver Kurt Vonnegut (his former teacher). When Veonnegut began to choke Irving proceeded to grab him from behind, which he found somewhat troublesome since he's 5'7" and Vonnegut was (is?) 6'5". Since he couldn't get the right angle, he threw Vonnegut on the floor and "proceeded to beat on him from the rodeo position" only to find out that he hadn't been choking at all. He had emphysema. My question being: how could he muster up the balls to tell it on The Daily Show?? I hope they padded his gift basket for giving up that little nugget of embarrassment.

    On TV: No, thanksyouvellymush.
    MP3: What Kind of Love, Rodney Crowell
    In my head: Sleeeepy vibes.

    Note: Longggg ass day tomorrow. Expect no peeps from me until evening.
    Another note: The formatting is wonked tonight...leaving spaces, etc.. It's driving me batty, but ignore it, and I'll try to, too.


    1. I believe Mr. Vonnegut is dead.

      Yeah, this blowjobless rate is a real bitch.

    2. Well according to a friend who went on a first aid course you are supposed to ask people "are you choking" and if they say yes, then they aren't. because you can't talk while choking. Course while you asked and waited for a response they could choke to death, but what can you do?

    3. Todd,
      Wasn't sure about Vonnegut. I've never read any of his stuff although I would like to read a few titles that come to mind immediately.

      The BJ rate was MUCH better with Clinton.

    4. Fence,
      I think Irving did the right thing. Just ride 'em til they breathe again no matter what. hehe

    5. Good luck today babe. I'll be thinking about you! I'm glad you know a few people. I never knew anyone at college and was too shy to make many friends.

      My grandmother is famous for putting things in a "safe place" and never seeing it again. I'm still missing some paper ribbons from 3rd grade.

    6. LOL, Heather. That's why I usually leave things a mess and I'm fine. Uggg! Gonna tear my hair out over this one.

      Thanks for the good luck wishes! I'm a little nervous, but not too much. I know one of my profs for a class today and I met the other one at orientation. :)

    7. hey del! who is it? i want to know who we went to high school with that you will now be teaching. how awkward would that be? well, i guess it depends who it is...
      no baby yet. induction thursday at midnight (that's thursday MORNING, as confusing as it seems). my mom is here spoiling the life out of me for a couple of days, but i came into work just so as not to be wasting my time off. :)

    8. I was wondering if we'd babied yet! I'll e-mail you the name. It's no one we were close to or anything. I'm hoping he won't remember me.

    9. the hospital called.

      its a begnet!

      a nice biggun!!!

    10. JOHNNY!!! I'm so proud!!! Get out the cigars!

    11. I was unaware about that whole blowjobless rate - damn I wish I would have known last week.

      glad things got worked out - the people you know will no doubt provide your readers with some amusing tales... ;)

    12. The blowjobless right in the Sam household is pretty low. You can thank me for that.

    13. Steph,
      The tales probably won't be as good as the librray, but I'm sure they'll suffice. :oD

    14. lol, Sam. Maybe H3.2 should read the article!

    15. Sorry about the word verfication, guys! I had to do it! I've deleted at least 10 spam comments this morning.

    16. The worst thing to do is put something in a safe place. Safe places are safe because they are strange places you would never put anything in your right mind.

      Everything I've ever lost permanently was because I put it in a safe place.

      Glad your classes are straightened out!

      I think Vonnegut is alive and still giving talks. Used to read him and liked him.

      Hate John Irving. Finally remember it was he who wrote Owen Meany and not Updike. LOL .. repression is good.

      I can't believe Vonnegut would have dinner with him. Criminey.

    17. I can't wait to hear tales about the people in your classes. Will you tell them? Especially those pertaining to a slack-jawed dumbshit neighbor? :)

    18. I love some of the word verifications: this one is rdwdojvg - wtf?

      If I was in charge they would all be dirty... but you knew that.

    19. glad it all worked out...i knew it would!

    20. Oh, but Suzz, he didn't just go to dinner with him...he taught him everything he knows!!! lol

      I loved The Cider House Rules, but I have yet to read another Irving. Maybe someday. Couldn't make it through Owen Meany. I started The World According to Garp and was diggin' it, but got sidetracked (story of my life).

    21. Kittykitty,
      I certainly will whip out many stories. I already have a few and it's just the first day!

    22. Steph,
      Mine would all be half-intelligible. And some dirties thrown in too. I would have things like "craptaculous" or "pronstar".

      Love your new avatar, by the way.

    23. I'm glad it did, too, Go-go! Very relieved!


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