Monday, August 01, 2005

Gnaw me, baby!

My unborn twin is trying to gnaw out the back of my head today. He woke me up around 7AM trying to gnaw out my left eye, but I rolled over and he switched locations. This headache thing, for all of you who might be new readers and completely freaked out by my talking about a fictional unborn twin trying to gnaw out of my body....it's just Andi-speak for a headache. This one is snot-induced. I hate allergies.

If I ever had the urge to try escargot, it was squelched yesterday. Some of you may remember, I added two Gold Inca Snails to my aquarium a few months ago. One of them bit it yesterday, and snails are supremely gross when they're dead. They're gross when they're alive, too, but grosser dead. I buried him in the front flower bed, and toasted his too-short life with an imaginary Amaretto sour. Ok, OK, I dumped him under a bush at 10 last night and had a diet Coke. Sue me.

Four days (counting today's deadly 11-8 shift) left at the library. If they don't buy me a going away cake I'm going to buy myself one. Sea cows unite (because that's what I feel like today)!!

HOLY CRAP MY HEAD HURRRRTTTSSSS!

25 comments:

  1. Your twin is getting back at you for not getting out of the jammies yesterday! Do you know if your twin is a he or a she?

    My condolences about the snail. Oh, who am I kidding? I've had escargot only once in my life, about 20 years ago (feel free to comment that I'm OLD). I took a dat to a fancy French restaurant (in MT???) and we ordered mushroom caps stuffed with escargot, and a bunch of other stuff I couldn't pronounce. Fortunately, we had already downed two bottles of wine, and used the third to wash the things down.

    So right there, we're looking at 3 things I don't like. I made it through the evening, but had serious issues in the morning. From that point on--nothing but beer & beef.

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  2. Eating rule #1: I will not eat anything that slimes its way across the ground.

    Eating rule #1: I will not eat anything with more arms than I have. This rule made after being forced once to eat squid. Or, as the menu would have it, calamari.

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  3. Eating rule #1: I will not eat anything that slimes its way across the ground.

    Eating rule #1: I will not eat anything with more arms than I have. This rule made after being forced once to eat squid. Or, as the menu would have it, calamari.

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  4. Andi-

    I would have worried if you did bury the snails. I was amazed you dumped them in a bush outdoors when there is (I assume) a perfectly good toilet indoors.

    -Tim

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  5. My twin is decidedly male...he's too persistent in trying to get away to be female. If it was a female she'd simply snuggle down into my gray matter and read.

    My condolences on have to EAT snails. The wine would help, but I'm afraid I'd be haunted by the blurry memory of the whole ordeal.

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  6. i ate octopus once. it was the most disgusting thing i've ever had, although i kind of like calimari. escargot is a no. snails. that's just like eating slugs, you know. they just have shells to disguise themselves with.

    so you've felt like crap for like...a week or so now? they have doctor's right down the road from you, you know. maybe you ought to visit one.
    of course, its probably just your body rebelling against the library, which means it will go away in a few days anyway...

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  7. Suzz,
    Amen and amen. Nothing that crawls. And Clack ate JELLYFISH once. I'm sure she'll comment if she reads this.

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  8. Tim,
    The shell was big enough to have clogged the toilet, and I'm sure my mother would've disowned me. Otherwise it would've been a burial at sea!

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  9. Clack,
    I thought it was jellyfish! Octopus is just as nasty, though. They have seafood salad at Wally-World that has discernable tentacles. Make me THROW UP.

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  10. Clack,
    It's an on and off thing, so I'm not worried. I think it is bodily rebellion. Will update you on my health next week. Should be free and clear and thoroughly liquored up by then.

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  11. andi i really hope your head feels better. i get nasty headaches almost everyday. my allergy ones always feel like there is a ballon trying to explode out of my ears.

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  12. eeewww.... I will never, ever stock my aquarium with snails. (Thanks for the warning--I wouldn't have thought twice otherwise)

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  13. hope it gets better 4 u hon.

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  14. nope you're right. it was jellyfish. tasted like rubber gristle. it couldn't have possibly been octopus. that was a mental typo.

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  15. Corinna,
    That's the feeling! You described it perfectly, but now the meds have kicked in and I'm wired. Whee!!

    Storm,
    When they're alive I think they're really cute, but a warning: they're very horny. When they have babies it's like 20 at a time. Yuck!

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  16. Johnny,
    Thanks sugartoes (don't ask).

    Clackerdoodle,
    Jellyfish sounds infinite times worse than octopus. STINGERS!

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  17. Yucky! I hope your head feels better! I call mine "my tumor" when I get those ferocious head thumpers!

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  18. I had a headache on Saturday that almost killed me. I was hoping something in there would burst, giving me sweet relief.

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  19. I completely understand your headaches. I used to get horrible ones quite often (I used to have a cyst in my head...), but It's been better the past few years. Now I only get 1-2 a month. They are dibilitating.

    Sorry about the snails

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  20. Andi, is it possible you just need to get laid? Sorry, I'm just speaking on behalf of BTExpress. That's his answer for everything.

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  21. Funky,
    I call it a tumor as well. When I lived in NC, I had an infamous 12-day tension headache. At that time I decided that I had a tumor from drinking too much diet coke.

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  22. Todd,
    Sometimes an aneurism (sp?) is a gift. I'd better say that quietly. With my luck God will listen this time.

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  23. Dena,
    You sounded just like him. I thought you were him for a moment, but the hair gave it away. ;o)

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  24. Amanda,
    Glad your headaches are better now. I probably would've sawed my head off with a plastic fork if I'd had them.

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