Friday, August 05, 2005

HELP ME!

I'm baking in the fiery, yeasty bread ovens of hell. Yes, it's my next-to-last day at the 'brary, and I would trade my liver...the WHOLE THING...to be done with this place RIGHT NOW.Who needs a liver anyway?? It's a nice accessory, but I could do without.

1. I've had to deal with the bitchiest, ass-biting people I've ever seen this morning.

2. The Normans came in and someone had done a doodle in their pants because it smelled like a moldy cheese factory in a winding trail behind them.

My going away part was thrown Wednesday. I walked in at 9am to the following sight:


It's a flamingo. Wearing a hula skirt and a lei. This is the best thing to come out of four months employment at the city library. He has 12 seasonal outfits including a Santa outfit, St. Patty's Day garb, a wizard's robe (great for Harry Potter parties), and even bunny ears. He's standing in my chaise lounge wearing his hula outfit AND the bunny ears as we speak. At home. Away from the fiery, yeasty ovens of hell. Guess what I named him?

NORMAN!


I will miss the crazy people here...or at least the memory of them on good days and, let's face it, I'll see them all the time because I love coming to the library to stroke the books. At least they can't tell me what to do anymore, and I don't have to kiss any more ass.
If I make it through tomorrow. Pray that I don't get accused of murder before then.


Addendum: CRUELLA the Mega-bitch is HERE! She's here right now, and that murder charge will be up by morning. Pray for my poor "Dead Andi Walking" soul!

12 comments:

  1. awwww! Norman! Atleast this one won't shit his harry potter robe!!!

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  2. LMAO!!! I just cackled in the dead quiet of the now-slow library. The children's librarian looked at me funny. What's new there? Nada!

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  3. That is so great. Everyone should have their own little (giant) flamingo with many, many outfits

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  4. A flamingo with seasonal clothes. A party favor worthy of California.

    Falling off my chair laughing!!

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  5. My Food Baby's name is Norman. I hate him.

    Can you send me the flamingo when you are done? I'm attracted to bright, flashy birds...

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  6. Fence,
    Flamingos are the new cell phones. The perfect accessory for the masses. Before you know it everyone will have a flamingo under their arm and a smile on their face.

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  7. LOL, Suzz! My mom's been threatening to buy one of these for years. Who has the last laugh now, huh?? Love it!

    Non,
    I thought you might like my bird. Just promise me you won't do bad bird things to him. He's an innocent.

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  8. damn normans you'll miss them i bet! ok maybe not.

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  9. Norman the Flamingo! It's like Barbie for adults! If you stay 5 months do you get a Bald Eagle?

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  10. Corinna,
    I'll miss their sweetness but not the shrieking and stinking that happens quite often. I'll miss the "I love you's".

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  11. LOL, Heather! We have a bald eagle that sits atop the sandwich board (shudder) for the children's section!! He's the 6-month prize I think.

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  12. I cannot promise that. I'm a bad girl.

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