Thursday, August 25, 2005

I Just Don't Get It

Denise Richards was on Ellen today (repeat) discussing the fact that she posed for Playboy a mere five months after she gave birth to her daughter. I'm going to skip all attempts at well-structured, mature commentary and jump straight to the...

EEEWWWWW!!!!!

Now, I should clarify that my adamant "eeewww" should not be considered a bite of my thumb at the childbearing process. That's not the gross part. Giving birth is, and I'm sure many would agree, a sacred event...bring life into the world!!! It's beautiful, it's touching, it's special.

On the other side of the coin, Playboy is not so sacred (boys, shuddup). It's about desire, objectification, and lust. Let's just say it...it's about titties. I'm sure Richards looked smokin'-hot, but at least give little Sam time to get off the teet. Won't she be proud to look back and know that her mama was determined enough to reveal her peaks and valleys that she jumped off the gurney and onto the treadmill? Way to go, Mom!!! Way to be a life-giving temple!!!

And fuck this PC business because we're all thinkin' it. Anyone think she lactated on set??



Moms...please do not bitch me out in the comments section. This is simply a reflection of how classless Denise Richards strikes me. She's right up there with Britney!

On an unrelated note: The asshat of the week award goes to Pat Robertson for calling for the assassination of the President of Venezuela and then claiming he never said that. Say it at home douchebag!!! That little black box with the man behind it is a CAMERA!




32 comments:

  1. Nice crooked tits on her, too. This woman is a vapid twat, just like the rest of the whores that Sheen banged. And he's the biggest whore of all.

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  2. I think the fad in Hollywood is that motherhood is the new sex appeal -- but minus the reality of the post-partum female body.

    This new trend is dangerous and, fuck me, what does it mean for real women? This is just increased pressure to look unreal when we are supposed to be looking the most real.

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  3. He's definitely the big whore. I'm surprised he hasn't gotten a bad case of green-spotted-dick and lost it out the leg of his overpriced star-khakis.

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  4. I bet there's a juicy sack of AIDS waiting for Sheen somewhere around the corner of New Bachelor Blvd.

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  5. Would you believe it if I said the pictures NEVER did anything for me? I actually WAS reading the articles. I hate Denise Richards because she dogged Johnny Rico in Starship Troopers. I always cheer for the Roughnecks.

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  6. And if I could figure out a way to relate that to literature I'd have a sweet thesis.

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  7. Sweet thesis = to Dena's comment about our unnatural ideas about the post partum bod.

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  8. Evil,
    I believe you. I just like the atmosphere ath the Cheesecake Factory.

    ;o)

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  9. The ambience at Cheesecake Factory is quite charming.

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  10. Andi, you can write any thesis you want - it doesn't have to be for school. Hell, I'll read any thesis you write. You brain makes my brain horny.

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  11. Awww, Dena, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Even wonderfuler than the time you said I was a dark-haired personality. My brain is horned for yours, too.

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  12. George,
    I think you'd like Sizzler better.

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  13. Playboy has pictures??? I thought it was only articles..:O

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  14. Oh my! I'm so glad this could be an educational experience for you, R!

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  15. So I'm guessing this Richard's wan was /is involved with Charlie Sheen then. The name is familar but for what reason I couldn't say.

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  16. Yep, she's a Sheen girl. Well, was...as you said. :)

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  17. Good to see the world has some class. Not! If Britney dares show her naked ass on the cover of playboy a mere five months after giving birth, and you know she will, I'll shoot myself, I swear it! Her hubby already wants to make a reality TV show of the birth. Now I remember why I don't watch TV.

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  18. Great post!

    You summed it up so well...no class at all...you're right!

    Nonvocabulum was right in calling her a TWAT too...lol...

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  19. I looked tacky up in the dictionary and there was Denise Richards' picture. Who knew. Ok, I suspected.

    About Pat Robertson. For crying out loud, what part of the thou shalt not kill, turn the other cheek and do unto others business is hard to understand?

    Call me crazy but I'm beginning to think that Big Oil cancels the Bible anytime and place.

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  20. I don't know about the lactation thing (although that was hilarious) because I doubt she breastfed; those Hollywood moms don't want to "look" like they've given birth. You're right: total lack of class.

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  21. the cover was terrible which made me happy cause yes i agree...gross let your snapper tighten back up a little….what does that even have to do with it? i just like saying snapper. (sorry) but no really the poor kid will be so embarrassed by that and will like posing for some piece of shit magazine was more important than watching me drool and go ga ga goo goo? go fuck yourself bitch (she will have learned ALL those bad words from her daddy)

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  22. You are hilarious!! Love it. Keep the boob juice to yourself ladies!

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  23. Amber,

    He wants to make a reality show of the birth?? Oh God help us all. What happened to their other "reality" show. Did it already get knocked off??

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  24. Chick,
    Twat is a perfect word. I love it dearly and wish I'd called her a twat first. hehe

    Suzz,
    I think he's only a Christian between the hours of 4 and 5 am. Not sure, but that's what I suspect.

    Bez,
    I'm sure you're right. God forbid a woman be cursed with the symptoms of childbirth. *gasp*

    Corinna,
    You crack me UP. Snapper??? lol I love it.

    Mrs. G,
    I do what I can. lol

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  25. I don't know if it got canceled or not. I suspect so, or at least I can hope. I mean my god!!

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  26. You know the only reason she has tulle tied around her lower abdomen is to cover up her cesarean scar. Those Hollywood types don’t even wait for the kid to pop out on his/her own…they rip them right from the womb to save themselves time and energy.

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  27. i'm not sure why the moms would hassle you about that one. that's all i have to say...

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  28. Ew. I'm totally with you there. And I bet ya a dollar she didn't breast feed. You know that breastfeeding is bad for the overall appearance of the boobs, you might get stretchmarks or suffer from non-perky titties. Fucker. She sucks ass.

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  29. Amber,
    We can only hope!

    Bannag,
    LOL! Thanks for stopping by! Do it more often!

    Clack,
    There's always the one or two that think it's empowering to spread it in Playboy months after having the child ripped from their loins.

    Sam,
    Sucks ass is a good way to put it!

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  30. LOL I'm a mom and I'm going to bitch you out, but not for the milk issues.

    I'd do the chick. She's that hot.

    sdk

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  31. LOL, SDK. You can have her. I wouldn't touch her with anyone's 10-foot pole. :-P

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