Monday, August 22, 2005

The Weekend, Pre- and Post-Tantrum

The weekend was nice before my fuck-tantrum, and then I think God decided to punish me for reaching my "fuck" quota for the month.

Saturday I woke up early thanks to my douchebag neighbors ('t's always the douchebag neighbors). Since I was up, and Mom is ALWAYS up early, we decided to go see a movie at 11:00. And what did we choose??? Guess...guess....

The 40-Year-Old Virgin!!!!



Steve Carell is officially my new celebrity crush! Look how cute he is...so innocent....so funny. The movie has actually gotten a lot of good reviews, and I can see why. It's hysterically funny thanks to Carell's sweet performance as a clueless 40-year-old virgin being "helped out" by his macho friends. But I'll save further comments for a proper review....


After the movie we had lunch, we book shopped, and we swam for two hours. I have my tan back, but now I'm limping.

The limping leads us to Sunday. Sunday morning I STUMBLED, HOBBLED, out of bed thanks to the dogs barking at the douchebag neighbors (always the douchebag neighbors). I noticed my foot hurting, but I didn't think much of it. As the day went on the hurting changed from "oh, it hurts a little" to PAIN. PURE UNADULTERATED PAIN. I have no idea what I've done to my foot, but it hurts along the sinewy side-area. It feels like a sprain, but how do you sprain your sinewy side area??

My prognosis in the grand tradition of anal-retentive overreaction to body pain in the tradition of the rabid spider laying eggs in my ear when I had swim ear:

Obviously a radioactive spider, reminiscent of that one in Spiderman, bit my foot in my sleep. It was very poisonous, so now the muscles in my foot are beginning to liquefy, thus causing me great pain.

Why don't they just go ahead and hand over my honorary medical degree??

Yesterday, while I was bedridden because I couldn't walk, I got an e-mail from my Research Methods professor giving us our reading assignments for the first class (126 pages). I'm not nervous yet. I think I *should* be very scared, though.

TV: Today Show
Music: Boy Sets Fire
Reading: same thing

29 comments:

  1. reminds me of a story, my sister, she's struggled with weight issues for a long time. she goes to her doctor and complains of aching feet issues. after a bunch of tests the doctor says to her in his best condescending voice "what we have here is a big ol' truck with little tiny tires on it. they just won't make it"
    she flipped out and never went to see him again. it was a rude comment and poor choice of ways to deliver the info, but hey, sometimes the truth hurts.

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  2. I can't wait to see the 40 year old virgin. I love steve carrell on the daily show and it should be a blast. sorry about your foot!

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  3. Opaco,
    Oh my.

    Amanda,
    I haven't seen him on the Daily Show. I always forget to watch it, but I'll be making a concerted effort now!

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  4. OBVIOUSLY thats the answer.....


    ;) I hope you feel better soon.

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  5. Hey, poor you. You know you have so many tiny, tiny bones in your feet you could have broken one. Don't know if you can get them where you are but I swear by pain patches. They act the same way as a copper bangle, they have copper and zinc in them and are used in Chinese medicine. You could stick one of those on just were the pain is and see if it helps. They work for me.

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  6. I think possibly you are being too positive Andi (or should I say &-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee), this poisonous spider, what if the toxin is spreading, any twinges in your calf. I'd go get the carving knife and chop off you foot while there is still time to save the rest of the leg.

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  7. Gotta go with Fence on this one I think....

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  8. Oh Fence, I love your sense of humor.

    Sorry to hear about your poor foot, but glad to hear you liked the 40-year-old virgin. I agree, I think Steve Carell is absolutely adorable. It was at the drive in this week, but we decided to stay home. I want to see it so bad!!

    So, you book shopped? Share, what did you get??

    126 page synopsis huh? Wow.

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  9. but since the spider laid the eggs in her ear, shouldn't she also lop off the ear and dig out the innards with a knife? just a thought. can never be too cautious.

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  10. Skinny Dip,
    I'll take a look for them tomorrow at the pharmacy. I'm willing to try anything!

    I do remember hearing a pop, so I'm thinking it's something tendon or ligament-related. I can't remember which does what, but they're both sinewy. lol

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  11. Fence,
    Not a bad idea. All I have is a rusty spoon, but that'll do the trick, I'm sure.

    Os,
    I'll take a pic of my bloody stump for HNT.

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  12. Heatheroo,

    The 126 page assigment is to read 100 pages of the Chicago Manual of Style )booooring) and 26 pages of another literary text. I get the distinct impression that he's trying to bore us into a coma so we'll miss the first class completely.

    I bought one book:

    Appetites, by Caroline Knapp. It's a women's studies about women's appetites whether they be food, sex, work, etc. She discusses our appetites in reference to cultural expectations and such. Sounds pretty interesting.

    Drag Aaron to see 40yo Virgin as soon as possible. You'll laugh yourselves silly.

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  13. Opaco,
    I drowned the spider in my ear with alcohol. The coast is clear.

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  14. btw, i woulda hanged myself at 30 if i was a virgin that long.

    omg.

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  15. I would like to second the FUCK for Blogger and this ridiculous 'Flag feature'...It is a toy for whiners and pussies and rats. If you don't like some material don't fucking read it! Don't go and tell someone to get rid of it. Then you would be no better than the U.S Government.

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  16. i've had that happen before. hurts! some kind of heretofore unobtrusive muscle rearing its ugly head. robin started masters classes today. gotta call and see if she likes them. i really have to time the baby having now, since she has a "schedule". :)
    haven't seen 40 year old, but Rob did. he said "its really funny. i'm glad you didn't go see it with me..." apparently he feels i wouldn't have been such a fan. you know how i am! but still he said it WAS hilarious...

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  17. Right on, R!

    Clack,
    Yeah, you probably wouldn't have liked it...although I think you would've been charmed by the sweetness of the main character.

    I sent Robin an AIM message telling her good luck on her grad courses. I'm sure she'll be great and love it, and I'm sure you can have that baby on a schedule!

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  18. i love HIM!! do you ever watch the sitcom 'the office' SO FUNNY!!!!!!!! i can relate that show to pretty much every office i have worked in it is like he just took the movie office space to a whole nother level. i am the asshole who beats up and swears at all the 'machines' in the office.

    i can’t wait to see his new movie…maybe tomorrow

    i hope your foot is feeling better soon (((HUGS!!))) and light foot
    massage to you!

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  19. take care of that foot Andi - how else are you going to help kick blogger's censorhipping asses?

    and yes, I know "censorshipping" isn't a word, but for fuck's sake, who cares?

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  20. I want to see that movie sooooooo baaaaaaaad....

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  21. Corinna!!! I haven't seen The Office yet (always forget about it and didn't make it home in time for the marathon). I will be watching it veryyyy soon. I'm the machine beater, too.

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  22. Funky,
    Censorshipping is a great word! Or how about censorshippage. CENSORSHIPMENT! That sounds like a Bushism.

    Erik,
    Go see it! Now! Hurry! It's a great movie.

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  23. I love the fuck rant, and boy sets fire rocks me everynight to sleep.

    FUCK all other swears cus it's got nothing on the word FUCK!

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  24. I wish I had been able to even go outside this past weekend. I will trade your limping for my sneezing...

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  25. Petrow,
    I'm gonna have to fuck-rant more often. It was really liberating, and I've just added a new word to my vocab: fuck-rant. Woot!

    NonGF,
    I might take you up on that! Pass the kleenex!

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  26. H3.2 went to see it and really enjoyed it. I was at home with my Chicken. I'll have to wait until DVD comes out. And Opaco- that's fucking great. Sad, but great.

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  27. I like the sound of Chicken, Sam. He might well be as entertaining as the movie.

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