Monday, November 07, 2005

80's dance movies

I Wanna Dance with Somebody

I made the mistake of listening to the Footloose soundtrack last night as I was trying to fall asleep. This was a mistake of gargantuan proportions because
a) I started bed dancing (which most of you have heard me discuss here before) and
b) I started thinking of the topic of this post and cackling aloud to an empty, dark room.
I'm sure my fish thought I'd finally fallen right off the edge....marbles and all.

I miss dance movies. Specifically, I miss 80's dance movies. Films like Flashdance, Footloose, Fame, and Dirty Dancing. That was some good shit. These newfangled dance movies like Save the Last Dance or Center Stage (yes, fuckers, I'm one of the two people who saw that movie) don't have the passion and idiocy that the 80's movies had. Things like a viable plot or convincing characters need not apply to the canon of 80's dance movies and, damnit, I liked it that way!

The 80's dance movies had an undeniable charm and unintentional wit about them. What's more entertaining than Kevin Bacon spontaneously combusting into a drunken whirligig...throwing himself up against the walls in a mill, doing that gymnastic thing on a conveniently-placed high bar or what's-her-name...the anorexic abused girlfriend...gyrating up against a car at a drive-in burger joint to Dancing in the Sheets while John effin' Lithgow her preacher daddio catches her and looks wounded to his core!?! That sentence took my breath away. Watch out Faulkner.

What's more priceless than Patrick Swayze in a black wife beater and painted-on jeans groping and lifting Jennifer Whats-Her-Nose in a river (why did she have to get her schnoz "fixed")? And of course, "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."

What makes your boxers sweat more than Jennifer Beals in her up-to-there legwarmers working her legs off? Or flashdancing her way right on up to the Philadelphia ballet? Ohhh, mama! INSPIRING! And Grunt was a great actor.

80's dance movies and their respective soundtracks make me fly! Not only do I spontaneously combust into the obligatory dance/seizure, I have an overwhelming urge to sport shoulder pads, a frosted mullet, and a slap bracelet or 6. Sweet, buttery Jesus, it is a religious experience all its own.

Save the Last Dance never did that to me. I want my money back.

22 comments:

  1. bed dancing...you crack me up! i do that too, all the time. and i love Dirty Dancing, not only because it starred Lenny Briscoe. remember slutty sister Lisa's hawaiian song for the talent show? that shit slayed me.

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  2. Sorry girls. If you want real dance movies, you have to go to the 70s. NOTHING beats Saturday Night Fever! To see Vinnie Barbarino all dressed in white.... Trying to imitate "the strut"... Singing all the high parts with the BeeGees.... And then following Mr. T into his next high profile movies--Grease and Urban Cowboy. Makes a guy proud to have lived in the 70s.

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  3. Suddenly I have the craziest desire to listen to Let's Hear it for the Boy and watch Kevin Bacon teach Chris Penn how to dance. Love it!!

    Gawd, I loved that movie!! Wow, so many memories...I almost want to dance!

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  4. I know I've seen Footloose, but any memory of it I have not. Dirty Dancing though, fantabulous. Much better than Save the Last Dance. And that Honey crap *shudder*

    telantt: television-talant

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  5. Ago-go,
    Yay! My bed dancin' sista (which puts a whole new connotation on the dancing). I do remember the slutty sister! She cracked me up in that gawd-awful Hawaiian outfit and the singing. Ohhhh the singing.

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  6. Oooh, Os, I can't even argue with that. Saturday Night Fever was the shit. And I even liked Stayin' Alive.

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  7. Heather,
    I just listened to it in the car!!!! Let's hear it for the boy! Doo-wop!

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  8. Fence,
    Thou must rent it!!!! It's luscious and wonderful and cheesey as hell...but fabulous!

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  9. oh my lord I am cackling over here! I love this post and I LOVE the 80's dance movies. I think I've seen each one about 100 times. I might need to invest in the Footloose sound track!

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  10. Don't forget the scene in the Breakfast Club where Emilio Estevez' character gets stoned and takes off in a wild dance around the library! I love that movie...

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  11. Don't forget Electric Boogaloo amongst that lot. That really brought break dancing to the main stream even more so than Flashdance.

    The best thing about Footloose is Sean Penn's brother (William?) trying to learn to dance. I've never see anyone move so stiffly.

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  12. very nice.

    my wife is a dance freak.

    i'm quite familiar with all those flicks

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  13. LOL Frosted mullet.


    Dandi, I actually bought Save the Last Dance. The soundtrack is fun and, well, I love black on white action. Just kidding. Seriously, it's a pretty good movie! Center Stage was okay, too, but I hate ballet dancers. All their issue ever is is bulimia and group fucking.

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  14. Remember the way Emilio Estevez danced in The Breakfast Club? It made my vergina prickle with disgust.

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  15. I love the song Let's Hear it for the Boy! Deniece Williams rocks my socks, even back in her Earth, Wind and Fire days.

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  16. Funky,
    You SOOOO need to invest in the Footloose soundtrack. It's wonderful-fabulous!!! You'd dance your ass off all the time.

    MamaK,
    I'd forgotten about Emilio's wild dance-athon. I lurv The Breakfast Club so velly much! Must find it on DVD!

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  17. E-vil! I've never seen Electric Boogaloo! I must edumacate myself on this as soon as possible.

    And, yes, the Pennesque dancing was a highlight.

    Ty,
    Do you do the dances yourself? If not, you should. You know you wanna.

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  18. Denaroo,
    I own the Save the Last Dance soundtrack and DVD. I do love the movie a little more than is healthy, but it's still no 80's dance movie. They just had a cheesey passion unequalled since!

    Same here re: Emilio.

    Let's Hear it for the Boy makes my ass wiggle uncontrollably. Can't stop it. Don't even try anymore.

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  19. I love 80s movies, period. Great post!

    Oh, and Ago-go - that song sucked, didn't it? Her sister was an idiot.

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  20. It's the 10th here already, so Happy Birthday!

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  21. Why did you put those songs in my head, dammit!!

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