Cartoon 1

I've taken to drawing cartoons in Paint when I'm bored or frustrated at work. This is the first offering. More to come soon.

Worthless students and political incorrectness...

Politically Incorrect

Edited for incriminating content.

On a brighter note, a student in one of my labs made me smile today. They're required to keep a journal of the goings-on in our writing group and this particular student has taken the idea and run wild with it. I dread the assignment sometimes because some of them make me want to stab my eyeballs out with Pamela Anderson's fake nails to read the things. It's a shame so many trees should die at the hands of maudlin musings over writing (I don't kill trees with my maudlin musings, thankyouverymuch).

This particular student is in the art department, so we have a good time talking art and bringing that creative component into the writing group. He's discovered that writing is an art form and enjoys getting creative with his journal entries. He's very honest and diary'ish about the whole thing, which alternately cracks me up and makes me think. I'm really proud of him.

That began as a really inspired thought and fell flat at the end. Fuck it. I've gotta go to bed. Another presentation to do tomorrow.

On TV: Everybody Loves Raymond
Music: Billy Currington....That Changes Everything (he was in Playgirl!)
Reading: The Triumph of Narrative, Robert Fulford
In my head: Gah-gah'ness

Whatever

The Usual Sunday Whatever



I'm godsmacked, people! Godsmacked I tell you. As in, God is smacking my ass with projects until it's red and pained. I've gotten a lot done today, which is the only reason I can sit here relatively guilt-free and type this shit to you all. I pretty much turned my bedroom upside down in a nesting/cleaning frenzy. I could no longer endure studying in squalor, so I cleaned out the top shelf of my bookcase to make room for the 30'ish library books I have checked out right now as well as some folders full of handouts (I hate handouts) from class. I proceeded to organize everything in my school bag, dust, trash a garbage bag worth of miscellaneous papers, and I vacuumed. It's nice and Febreezy-smellin' in here now.

Once the cleaning frenzy ceased, I was able to finish reading Descendants of Darkness for Tuesday night's class, do my online posting early, and dig into Bridget Jones's Diary (need a refresher before I write the paper).

Now I sit here slothful as ever post-shower with freshly straightened locks listening to Billy Butter Voice Currington. My new favorite CD.

A woman is a mystery
A man just can't understand
Sometimes all it takes to please her
Is a touch of your hand
Other times you gotta take it slow
And hold her all night long
Heaven knows there's so many ways
A man can go wrong

Must be doin' somethin' right
I just heard you sigh
Leaned into my kiss
And closed those deep blue need you eyes
Don't know what I did
To earn a love like this
But baby I must be doin' somethin' right...

It's hot, and it's on repeat.

Plans for the remainder of the evening:

Desperate Housewives
More Bridget Jones

Book Talk

Book Talk

In reality I'm reading about 30 books and a multitude of scholarly (and not so scholarly) articles for my two final papers (20-25 pages each). Some are fun, some are not so much fun, but I figured I'd throw out some titles for the book lovas in the bunch.



Decendants of Darkness is one in a series of Manga graphic novels. While I am a graphic novel fan, I've never read Manga. This one is REALLY odd. Really REALLYodd. I'm hoping it improves at this point, or I'll have to give it a big thumbs-down in Oral Tradition and Modern Fantasy on Tuesday.



I'm not a huge fan of Marina Warner's books based on the two I've read (Six Myths of Our Time and No Go the Bogeyman), but I thought I'd give From Beast to Blonde a try. So far OK.



The Witch Must Die (Sheldon Cashdan) is so cuuute! And I'm talking about the cover. I haven't actually jumped into this one yet, but I will probably start rifling through it today. It sounds like a great book, so I'll report more on that one later.

Another one I'm heavily into is The Triumph of Narrative:Storytelling in the Age of Mass Culture (Robert Fulford). This one goes along with my chick lit paper for Research Methods and is interesting so far. The first chapter deals with the idea of gossip and narrative, which I find intriguing in light of the general style of the chick lit novel and how that might relate back to the novel of manners or the validity of the chick lit genre in general. More to come on that.

God, I need to start drafting these papers.

Red Death

Red Death it is...





I shall heretofore be known as the Red Death. Yep, I decided on that one for Halloween and bought 3/4's of the costume this morning. I own the other 4th, and I have to decide if that's going to consist of my red corset or a lace-up slip dress. I'm thinking corset. We'll see. Now I just need some killer spike heels.

If you haven't read Poe's story, here's The Masque of the Red Death for your reading pleasure. I've been enamored with this story since sometime in middle school. Very creepy fabulous.

Shocking that I'll be wearing red and black for Halloween. You'd never guess it from my blog template.

Listening to: Billy Currington...I bought the CD this morning. Must be doin' somethin' right.

HNT: Snot Monster Rides Again (still?_

HNT: Snot Monster Rides Again (still?)

I'm still sick, so why not capitalize on it and beat it like a dead horse?? That's the American way, damnit!



Meet my kleenex: Milton and Georgette

Filet d'Fish

Angry midgets and other assorted bullshit....

Don't get too excited. I didn't see another "real" midget like I saw at the library that time.

Edited for incriminating content.

**********************

The classes I teach at the college are going well this semester with the exception of one douchebag. Former military, bitter, jaded, security guard, not such a fan of a mid-twenties gal such as my hot-ass self teaching him English. I might have to body slam him. Or at least let the air out of his tires and paint nasty sayings on his already hooped-up truck. Nevermind...he'd have to hang around until he got a tow truck or a ride home and he'd probably find the decorations an improvement over that primer look he's rockin' right now. I can't catch a break. Vandalism is so hard nowadays. That reminds me....I need to retake my ethics test for work. Hmmphf.

**********************

In other news, I'm listening to what could very well be the sweetest "fuck you" song ever. I've posted it here before...Alison Krauss and Union Station....Forget About It.

I'll put in the disclaimer here: I'm not in a bad mood, nor am I irked with the opposite sex in any way. I just like this song and I ran across it in a random CD case.

Forget about those starlit nights
Laying by the fireside holding you tight
Can't remember when I felt so right
But just forget about it

Alison can always "fuck you" with a smile and some sugar.

The meds are kicking in. I must get horizontal.

TV: GAC Top 20 countdown (hicks on parade)
Reading: Flirting with Pride & Prejudice...Jennifer Crusie
In my head: A parade of Tylenol Allergy Sinus...and Elton John

Can't Sleep

Sleepless Crap

Yes, sleepless crap.

I got horizontal 1.5 hours ago (ish), and I've been tossing and turning until the point that I got ultra-pissed and decided to sit up. There's nothin' on TV, so I'm sitting up in my bed, snot monster in full effect--clogging up my left nostril--and thinking of the article I read on CNN.com today about a gorilla that cracked coconuts open with a rock in order to extract the contents. This was apparently a big breakthrough for a mere dumb-ass animal and the scientists all had thought-gasms over it. I hypothesize that the gorilla was cracking those coconuts open simply to see the scientists have their thought-gasms and secretly laughing to himself about how fucking easy it is to entertain stupid humans.

But maybe I'm just a cynic.

********************************************

Empire Records quote o'the day (because it's the best effin' movie EVERRRR):

"Attention Rex Manning fans! To your left you will notice a shoplifter being chased by our night manager Lucas. This young man will be caught, deep fried in a vat of hot oil and served to our first 100 customers! Just another tasty treat from the gang here at Empire Records!" -Gina

********************************************

Why in God's name is Garth Brooks dueting with Steve Wariner on the Grand Ole Opry??? That's slightly disturbing. I love Steve Wariner even though he hasn't had a hit in ages. And I used to like Garth Brooks before he got weird(er). Pretty duet. Odd. Very odd.

I need to buy one of those Steve Wariner Super Hits CD's for 4.99 at Wal-Mart.

*Note: That was a very random bit, just to illustrate how fucking tired I am and how pointless it is that I'm conscious right now.

Snot Monster

The Snot Monster



It's October 18th, and the Snot Monster is making his first appearance for my yearly pre-birthday cold. His big ass is clogging up my nose and ears and making my throat hurt, thus bringing with him an apathy that shall remain unequalled until this time next year. And he looks like Elton Fucking John.

TV: Hate it.
Music: When I get in the car.
Reading: Titles imposed upon me by The Man. Damn The Man.
In my head: Oodles of mucous.

Whatever

Whatever

It's 7:30am....after a weekend in which I did absolutely zilch. That means I'll be scurrying to catch up today and tomorrow and then starting on next week's work sometime around Wednesday. Some days I wish I'd never started this graduate school thing, and some days I love it lustily.

Why do I keep this blog if I don't post?? Good question. We all know I'm a comment whore, too, and I've watched my numbers of average daily visits drop from around 150 a day to like...40. If it's a good day. I don't have time to comment on others' blogs and I barely post anything readable here.

Bitch, bitch, whine.

I'm going to work. That won't make me long to get back into bed or anything....reading the homework of a bunch of brain-stunted apathetic shits. Yay.

Halloween Options...Decisions, Decisions

I'm going to a Halloween blowout this year: The Edgar Allen Poe'try Reading put on by my lovely English Honor Society. We've "rented" the big-ass fabulous but slightly creepy founder's house. There will be food, there will be decorations, there will be poetry and performance art, but best of ALL there will be costumes.

I haven't dressed up for Halloween in, oh, 10 years at least, but probably more than that. Here are some ideas for this year:

The Red Death....from Poe's The Masque of the Red Death. Easy costume...buy a cape, vamp up, get a red wig, the whole nine. I already have the Hooker Red toenails.

I've been joking about letting my legs grow out and going as a Christmas tree. I was only kidding at first, but now I'm thinking I could wrap myself in garland, put a star on my head, and be a big hit.

I would be a toilet paper roll, but I haven't figured out how I'd execute that one exactly.

Ideas anyone?

SExy Song of the day

I bought a couple of new CD's today:

Foo Fighters - In Your Honor
Sugarland - Twice the Speed of Life

Sexy-ass Song of the Day from the Foo Fighters....Best of You

I’ve got another confession to make
I’m your fool
Everyone’s got their chains to break
Holdin’ you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn’t have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can’t choose
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse

...and there's more, but I won't bore you with more lyrics.

Girlhood

Girlhood....(Even though I'll be 25 in just under a month.)

A few minutes ago I was sitting here in my bed cursing my femaleness, when, all of a sudden a light came down from heaven (actually it was the glare of the closet light) and I began to chastize myself for having cursed my girliness. It's great being a girl, and I'm gonna tell you why....

In no particular order:

• Cute clothes
• An endless amount of hair style and color options
• Hot sunglasses
• Cool Water for women and Caress body spray
• The privilege of sniffing man-cologne and not getting looked at funny
• Women's studies books (because I just can't be convinced that they're as appealing for guys)
• Heels...even though they hurt like hell
• Cute undies (thank you Victoria and Frederick)
• Multiple orgasms (shut up...you know you were thinkin' it, too)

There are a ton more, but I have to knock off a paper right quick.

As an unrelated aside: Baylor is on the shortlist for the George Dubya Bush library. I'll never visit again if it lands there. That's not true either...but I WILL be bitter.

Celebrate!

CEL-E-BRATE!

Two fabulous things going on:

First, the good news I've been witholding....D. got the job in DALLAS! Yayyy! He posted it on his blog, so that's free reign for me to do the happy dance here.

Second, I may well be CRAZY, but I'm going to submit a proposal to present a paper at a BIG HONKIN' Children's Lit. conference in L.A. The proposal is due in by November 30th, and the conference is in July. If, by some wacky chance, I did get to present, I would also be meeting some incredibly important people in the field. That fact makes my stomach churn and my butt pucker, but I'm willing to press on and do it anyway.

Wish me luck!

On TV: Making the Band 3...again...since they sucked ass last year.
Music: Lil Kim...The Jump Off
Reading: Lots of stuff that pertains to papers and the like.
In my head: Scramble.

Sexiest Songs

Miscellaneous

Sexiest songs in or near my CD player....

• Stay With Me (Brass Bed), Josh Gracin
• 1 Thing, Amerie
• anything by Eva Cassidy
• Adagio for Strings, Samuel Barber
• Must Be Doin' Somethin' Right, Billy Currington (in that buttery smooth way a-la Charlie Pride or Conway Twitty)
• Three Days, Pat Green

I have a social life! What's up with that?? It's a wonderful thing, but obviously it's taking me away from my blog. Oh well, we'll all just have to deal with it, cuz I lurv it.

The chick lit paper for Research Methods is in full swing as is the fairy tales/comic books paper for Oral Tradition (shuddup Todd and Os). I got fuckered...I mean suckered...into being on the publicity committee for our graduate conference in the Spring and I'm the webmaster for our graduate scholarship club thingy. There were drinks involved. It was a setup.

I saw The 40 Year Old Virgin again today. D came up for the day, so we whiled away the afternoon with a very horny Steve Carell. Good times were had by all. I must own that movie as soon as it hits the shelves. I also looked for Goodnight Nobody by my goddess...my idol...Jennifer Weiner. Not sure what the crap Hastings is thinking NOT HAVING IT, but they still don't. Bah humbug on their heads.

That is all. I'm going to bed.

Stoner

Stoner

So the kid walked into class late...after I'd already left a note for the students to let them know I'd be a few minutes late because of a fire that broke out along the interstate and slowed traffic to a crawl. I've only smelled pot...like...twice in my life (thank you Dave Matthews concert 2001), but it was very sickly, sweetly obvious that he wreaked of weed. When the 40-year-old wild child that sits near him in the back got bug-eyed as he walked past, I knew I was dead right. I pulled him out into the dept. head's office after he finished his quiz and relieved him of his place in class for the evening. He tried to say it was his ride to school that was smoking it, but I told him I didn't give a fuck (in not quite so many words) and to keep his stinky ass at home the next time he felt the need to spark one during my class. Shitheads. Just call me Buzzkill...Andi Buzzkill.

On TV: Some gawd-awful Toby Keith video
Music: Broken, Seether
Saw today: The 40 Year Old Virgin...again!!!
In my head: Big smiles and excellent weather.

What a funky week....

What a Week!

Sorry I haven't been around more this week. I would've preferred blogging to two class presentations this week. The first one was in my Oral Tradition class. It's a very laid back group, so it was a fun experience. I was supposed to do it last week, but with my uncle's funeral and all, it was impossible to get the work done by Tuesday.

The other presentation was for my Research Methods class, and it was over the critical term, "Performance." I handed out lil pictures and descriptions (most of them humorous or off-color or just plain weird) and asked the members of the class to explain why that would be performance. Example: The professor ended up with a picture of Tim Curry in his barely-there leather and chains from The Rocky Horry Picture Show. It got everyone talking and I didn't have to do as much talking. Yay!

Gotta go to work, but I'll be back later to tell you all about the student that showed up to class smelling of marijuana Wednesday night.

Anyone seen my Dr. Claw's Home Uterus Removal kit??? I NEEEEED it!


Until I find it this will have to do.

A little more tacky, please?

I haven't had much fodder for posting lately (and I've been doing a lot of sleeping), but I had to share this tidbit. I witnessed a new level of tackiness this week. I didn't know this kind of tacky existed outside of Paris Hilton's life, actually.

An anonymous fellow graduate student told me last week that he was having a housewarming party and everyone was invited. Great. Whatever. Word started to circulate that this individual was asking that we all bring alcohol to share and food if we felt like it. Slightly tacky, but we're all poor grad students, so it was understandable. Before we knew it, we got wind of the fact that he'd placed a "donation" jar in the office. They were hoping to have enough donations to buy a nice grill to be used for future parties. Super-tack.

The invitations rolled out Wednesday, and what did I find? That they'd REGISTERED at Wal-Mart so we could buy them stuff.

1) They threw their own housewarming.
2) They don't have a house...it's a new-to-them apartment.
3) They asked us to bring everything.
4) And donate to a bbq grill.
5) AND buy their chosen items from Wal-Mart's gift registry.

I think five people out of 40 went.