Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Worthless time-wasting bullshit, Batman!

Things I plan to do today:

1. Go to Colloquium.

2. Avoid reading The House of Mirth.

3. Watch Donnie Darko and do whatever comes out of my overwhelming lust for Jake Gyllenhaal. And I admire his brain, too. He went to Yale for a piece (of time, not ass, although I'm sure he ran into some of that too).

4. Finally get around to reading The House of Mirth when it's too late to concentrate.

5. Put up the NEW TEMPLATE Heather was kind enough to make for me. It's very springy and I *heart* it. It even has a Great Expectations quote. Rock out, Estella.

6. Mull over the state of the world and then give up, choosing to read The Onion instead of real news.

Which brings me to....THE BEST ONION HEADLINES I've read lately:

  • Sharon's Neurotransmitters Reach Cease-Fire Agreement
  • Ghost of Brando Urges Man to Finish Whole Cheesecake
  • Secretary of Agriculture Keeps Bragging He's Ninth in Line for Presidency
  • And from the coveted "Education" pages: Bob Marley Rises From Grave to Free Frat Boys from Bonds of Opression

On TV: There is none.
Listening: To the sounds of Joaquin Phoenix singing "Jackson" in my head.
Reading: A universally disturbing blog.
In my head: Joaquin Phoenix. Pay attention.

10 comments:

  1. Dean Martin's ghost once urged me to drink twenty-seven martinis.

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  2. geez i go away a few days n had to catch up ... so heres your free version of 95 bux!

    http://usera.imagecave.com/3dpolar/flaming.jpg

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  3. I'm quick! LOL@the pic. Might have to make it my new header.

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  4. i read the sec of ag thing. it cracked me up.

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  5. Oh I know. That was my favorite. We laughed ourselves retarded over that one here in the Writing Center.

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  6. Hi - I was searching for blogs about associations and found yours. Reason I was searching for associations is I have one and I'm looking for ways people run theirs.

    ReplyDelete

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