It's a FUCK YOU day!!!! I haven't done a FUCK YOU rant in a longgg time, but it's time. It IS the day. Actually, yesterday was the day, but it's run over into today.
The biggest FUCK YOU I have is for Discount Tire and Wheel. FUCK YOU, DISCOUNT TIRE AND WHEEL!
I went to get my beautiful (messy), gorgeous, sexy car inspected yesterday and the guys at the Quicky Lube (KY or Astroglide?) place wouldn't gimme a sticker until I got 2 new tires. Well, I knew that was coming, I just didn't want to think about it.
So I trudged over to Discount Tire and Wheel where I was greeted by a very sweet countrified man with an out-of-control goatee. He was cute in a "Yes, ma'am, where would you like me to lick you?" way. There were dogs running about (King Charles Spaniels) greeting the customers and generally making the man-zone estrogen friendly. King Charles Spaniels take all the penis out of a tractor tire. I can now say that for sure.
So I order my tires..."good but not TOO good". The cheapest ones in stock were $89.00 a pop. Whatever. YES, I'll take 'em or I don't get my sticker you fuckers. I sit, I read The Professor's House, I play with the dogs, I listen to the worker's string of "ma'ams" in the background.
$211.00 and 2 tires, a rotation, and a balancing act later, I was on the road.
WITH INCREASED ROAD NOISE AND A CAR THAT FEELS LOOSER THAN A HUNDRED-YEAR-OLD WHORE!
I don't know if I've just gotten used to riding around on bald tires (if so, they handle MUCH better than new ones) or if there's a problem. I really do not want to go back to that god-forsaken place even though I could do with a few more ma'ams and asking the boy his sign.
TV: Tim "I Am Gay But I Am Still Acting Like I Bang Faith" McGraw
Listening: "White Wedding Dress"...Boy Sets Fire
Reading: That's a whole other rant.