Saturday, April 08, 2006

Talk about uncomfortable....

I went to bed around 2am last night. I was totally exhausted, and after listening to "Message in a Bottle" 5 times to unwind into a sleepy state, I died. One and one-half hours later...3:30 for those of you who don't have a calculator phone rang. Phones ringing in the night scares the shit out of me in general. I get massive heart palpitations and loss of breath, and usually knock everything off of my nightstand diving for the lamp. Of course, my first thought is always, "Who died!?!" It's even weirder when my phone rings in the night because it's not the main line to our house. Most official business comes through the other number. The one in my room is our previous number from another home that I kept for my massive computer usage.

So anyway, it rings, my heart explodes, I dive, and I don't recognize the number on the caller ID, but it comes up as "Unknown" so I answer it for the hell of it...and I was too sleepy to know any better.

It's a man that I don't recognize, and he asks for my mother. I asked who was calling, and the reply went something like, "Bslhjgkhaelkoirfep...Keith."

Hmm. OK.

My first thought was, "Why is Keith [one of the town cops] calling the wrong number, drunk, at 3:30?"

I stood up, still sleep-stupored, as if I was going to take the phone to my sleeping mother and walked around in a circle before I asked, "What is this in regards to?" I said regards at 3:30 am in the midst of a fog. ENGLISH NERD! But whatever. The answer was, "Blalkerfohgioaefewro'p talked to her and she told me to call."

Hmm. OK.

By this point I was thoroughly convinced that this fucker was shit-faced and worthless and he'd INTERRUPTED MY SLEEP, so I hung up on his ass and fell back into bed without a second thought.

I told Mom about it this morning, and we came to the conclusion that it was L____ Keith, a guy who wanted to marry her when she was about my age. They've kept in touch (a little) throughout the last 30 years or so, and I have to say, it's the first time he's called drunk. Pretty good record, one drunk-dial in 30 years.

But he still interrupted my sleep. Fucker.


  1. Ooops, that was YOUR number?!

  2. Hmmm. That is weird. I still have trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that even our parents continue to experience the same issues we do, like receiving drunk calls, or otherwise having intimate relationships that have nothing to do with being a parent.

    I still have trouble remembering that parents are real people too.

  3. I wish I had that sort of DD record.

    Damn, hate when my sleep is interrupted by anything, but phone calls in the middle of the night are the worst.

  4. Oh, Quill. If I'd known it was you I might've been a little more diplomatic.

    Elise, my mom is generally not a real person. By that I mean she doesn't date or anything (doesn't enjoy it). She kind of just likes being a hermit like me. lol She was pretty excited about the drunk dial. Even though she will not be calling him back.

    Non, me too!

  5. A friend of mine was woken up one night by an obscene caller. She was sooooo sleepy that she kept asking the guy .. whaaaat? .. whaaat? On about the 4th or 5th whaaaaat ... he slammed the phone down in her ear.


    I keep telling my son I'm a real person but he's too shocked to believe me :))

  6. LOL, Suzz! That'd be me! They'd get so ticked at me it wouldn't even be funny, and NO ONE would get turned on in that situation. Too funny.


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