There's a meme of sorts making its way around the blogosphere in which you write what you'd like to say to 10 people but will never say or won't have the chance to say. None of these are related, so don't attempt to piece things together.
1. After what you've put our family through, I don't want to see or speak with you again. I don't forgive you yet. I know I can't forgive you yet because I still hope you're in pain. I hope that it hurts you to realize that I admired you but now I want nothing to do with you. We are very much alike except somehow I got all the good qualities they had to offer and somehow they all missed you. You've never worked for anything, you're the most selfish person I've ever known, you have an almost inhuman disregard for others, and you hurt all of us along the way. Over and over. Without ever taking responsibility. I'm lucky that I haven't felt the brunt of it. I was protected from that. I'm just now realizing your true colors, and I'm saving myself the trouble that would inevitably come.
2. I love you. I don't believe in that "one true love for everyone" thing anymore, but strangely enough, I believe in you.
3. I live in a perpetual state of terror that something will happen to you and I'll be alone. I love you more than anyone in the world. I'm an imprint of you.
4. I held your ring today. I turned it over and over in my hands and thought of the day you gave it to me. Out of a cigar box, of all things. I miss you every day. Thank you for teaching me to tie my shoes, for Big Red, for Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson, for always talking to me like an adult. I still talk to you, and I hope you hear me. The best memories are of you.
5. I'm just like you, so I can blame all the hard-headedness on you, right? The never going to the doctor, the sass, the love of books. Thank you for reading to me. I wish I was back in that big bed listening to you read.
6. Come out of the closet already. I don't care.
7. You were such an asshole in school. It's one of life's great tragedies that you're hot now.
8. I would be tempted to say yes.
9. Can we just sit and talk?
10. You want to be brilliant. You're too hard on yourself. You're worried that your life is meaningless and you haven't made a mark on anyone or anything. Stop worrying.
Listening: "My Old Friend"...John Hiatt