Friday, August 11, 2006

It's a dry heat....

Those of you who have any experience with Texas know that it's hot. Even those of you who have never been to Texas know that it's hot. When I say hot, I mean scorching. A bit like I would imagine hell to be.

Imagine my surprise and joy to find in the archives of Zach Braff's blog a little bit about Dallas....

When I was 17 years old I went on a 5 week trip to Israel. One of the places we visited was Eilat. In order to get to Eilat, you drive through desert so hot that you're warned not to leave the bus. I have not felt that feeling again until today in Dallas. It's 900 degrees in Dallas today... I passed a camel dry-heaving near the grassy knoll... but its a dry heat.

Right on, Zach. Come back soon.


In other news, I joined Netflix today. I may be the last person on earth to join Netflix. Here's a short list of other things I was the last person on earth to do....

1. Get an MP3 player (pending).
2. Get tivo (pending).
3. See Garden State.
4. Try sushi.
5. Have sex (I waited a longgg time).

The Netflix should provide hours of thesis avoidance (there are 105 movies in my queue after a mere 45 minutes of browsing). Procrastination should be an Olympic sport. Perhaps everyone could sit around in a circle looking aloof. The first person to move loses. I will be the captainess of the first United States procrastination team.

Saw Barnyard today. Fucking hilarious. Kiddie movies are delightful when there's an animated farmer's wife who is "medicated for a chemical imbalance."

One more Zach bit because the guy is a nut.

Also, many of you have commented that I seem like a normal, down to Earth guy. This is true. But it got me thinking of ways that I could become more of a Hollywood dickhead: Starting tomorrow, I will only drink milk from Doves. If it turns out to be true (as some have said) that Doves do not indeed produce milk, then I will move onto Eagle Milk. But not before we get to the bottom of this whole Doves pretending they don't produce milk thing.

Incidentally, I have a story about "dove butter." My friend Lesa and I discovered it while playing Scrabble in our sophomore English class. So, apparently doves do in fact make milk. Otherwise there would be no conceivable way to produce dove butter.

Shamelessly listening to Justin Timberlake's "Sexyback." *wiggle*

15 comments:

  1. I still haven't see Garden State! I meant to, but never did. Maybe next time I'm at Blockbuster I'll track it down.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Let's see, I don't have Netflix, Tivo or an MP3 player. I haven't seen Garden State, though I have tried sushi, and it's been yeeeeeears since I've had sex.

    :p

    ReplyDelete
  3. Heather, rent Garden State! It's really fun and odd. I love odd.

    Vixen, you win!!! I'll keep ya posted on how the tivo/mp3/netflix works out. I'm sure it'll improve my life tenfold and I'll have happy rays of sunshine simply shooting out my ass. I can't wait!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Don't feel bad. I've yet to do the whole NetFLicks thing either.

    And yes, it was really freaking hot yesterday as I was running around doing errands in the heat.

    ReplyDelete
  5. lol. I still don't have an MP3 player and nor do I have anything remotely tivo-like.

    Or netflix.

    You're ahead of the game.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Of those five things, I have done 1. So congrats on 3. And, in unrelated news, I found out today that the song Rooftops by Lostprphets (I don't know if you're a fan, but they're very good) was inspired by the screaming into the abyss scene in Garden State. The influence is everywhere!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Elise, I feel for ya. I wouldn't wish errands in the heat on ANYONE.

    Sassy, it appears so! And I wouldn't have expected such from a big group of bloggers! Obviously we're geeky on some level. ;)

    GG, I downloaded Rooftops earlier and I LOVE it. And I can see the abyss influences. I loved the abyss scene. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love SexyBack. At first I was a bit turned off that JT's voice was synthesized, 'cause he has a great singing voice. But the song is just too hot to care. It was thumping in my car on the way to the gym this afternoon.

    Didja hear that? I'm still going to the gym!

    Them motherfuckers don't know how to aaaact.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have Garden State on DVD. I wasn't sure what to watch tonight, so thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sorry, Andi -- sometimes I go without commenting for so long that it's like an "all you can eat Andi's blog" when I start.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I haven't had sex in a while (with another person). However, I am constantly fucking myself. Would it be more pathetic if, on top of my inability to engage in casual sex until love comes along, I was unable to masturbate too? I'm just so horny. And since I can't bring myself to pork just anyone, I spend quite a bit of time stretching out my sticky donut with a variety of Ontario-grown produce.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I don't havean Mp3 player.
    I haven't joined Netflix (but have been a Blockbuster on-line girl in the past).
    I've never even seen a tivo.
    I would never try sushi.

    I love the Justin Timberlake song. It makes me dance uncontrolably.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Non, I need to be going to the gym, but I fucking hate gyms. As a result I'm running around my 'hood and such. And I was a bit miffed at JT's synthesized'ness at first, but it's just too catchy to care. My ass goes crazy when I play it.

    Garden State is great. At first I loved it, then I started to scrutinize and thought it was overrated, and now I'm back to greatness. It's just so artfully shot. Gorgeous. And sweet. And fuckin' funny.

    Right on, masturbation. I also face the problem of being unable to fuck indiscriminately (damnit), so I'm stuck entertaining myself. At least I'm good in the sack. It's never boring.

    KAT! I need to sweep you off to a sushi place. It's yummy. I prefer the steamed stuff to the raw stuff. No fear!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I would so be on that team - finally, a sport I would excel in!

    OK, the Barnyard movie ... am I the only one irked by the fact that the cow (completed with udders) has a male voice and is called Otis? Is this Hollywood trying to covertly introduce transgendered characters to the kiddie audience? Or are they just stupid? I'm betting on the latter, which is why it annoys me so.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lesley, that bugged me too! I discussed it with my mother and we decided they lumped all uddered/bovine beings into one generic "cow" group because the animation wasn't so good as to separate bulls from cows from some other random farm animal. Damn stereotypes!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for taking the time to comment! I respond to comments individually by e-mail and/or here on the site. I value community above all else in blogging, and talking with you all is the highlight of my blogging day!