Friday, September 08, 2006

Should be interesting to watch...

I finally joined Match.com. Now, there's a story here. Given my recent disappointments with boys I finally decided to advertise myself honestly. Brutally honestly--charged with sarcasm, a little bitchiness, and without hiding the fact that I'm smart. I find it ridiculously ridiculous the way we're required to self-censor in our culture in order to not freak anyone out in the early stages of what might or might not be a relationship. We put on pretty faces and fancy schmancy personas and then when the real person comes out, one or both parties run screaming.

Fuck. That.

SO, this what my Match.com profile says:

SWF seeks non-douchebag who enjoys intellectual endeavors, reading, loud music, silliness, crass humor, cursing, food adventures, travel, and existential thought. The bi-curious, retarded (completely subjective), co-dependent, spineless, asexual, and he-mannish need not apply. Preferential treatment given to the tall, artistic, hilarious, and well-endowed among you. Let's get together--make each other pee a little from laughing too hard.

Yes, I really posted it. The blatantly, scarily honest sample personals ad I posted here in August. My foremost motivation in this little experiment (which I actually undertook with the blog and 'zine in mind) was to see if I would get ANY responses. I figured the responses would be one of two types of people: 1) the sex-crazed, because I doubt they ever read a whole profile 2) someone who actually gets my humor, otherwise they'd be too frightened and appalled to ever reply in the first place. I don't give a crap if I ever even go out with any of these guys, it's just an interesting little test-tube-like net-based experiment to see if anyone in the world (besides my friends and you bloggy lovely peeps) respond to Andi turned up to 11.

I created the profile about midday yesterday, and I've had two responses in the last three hours. One looks as if he might be one of the sex-crazed, the other sounds like he has a shitload in common with me. I shall definitely e-mail the 2nd one. We'll call him DG.

Stay tuned.

Listening: "Let It All Hang Out"...The Hombres

21 comments:

  1. I LOVE that you posted that! Looking forward to the updates on how it all goes! :P

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  2. Thanks, Nat! Should be interesting!!! As of this morning, 3 winks!

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  3. I'm winking at you right now, babe.

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  4. soooooooo...... Is it no bi-curious men? right?

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  5. Heh, you're so awesome. It's fantastic that you posted that and that you got a reply from someone who doesn't seem like a douchebag.

    Didja post a picture too? Instead of the standard 'hottie' shot, maybe you in your bathrobe, hair in curlers?

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  6. since you threw in well-endowed, you're guaranteed a few perverts. good luck!

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  7. Todd, I know you are, baby. You light up my life.

    LOL, Amanda! It is no bicurious men. I know several bicurious women and they're cool. The men, not so much.

    Heather, amen! Now I'm up to four and it looks like a split: two douchebags, two non-douchebags. Great idea about the pic. I do have one up on my profile that's me making a goofy grin. Very unattractive.

    LE, I changed it to "intellectually well-endowed." That oughta throw 'em for a loop!

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  8. holy hell- I love that you put in the well endowed part- you have some balls my friend.

    Speaking of balls, there is this guy that I know that is single, funny and super cute (tall, bald, black rimmed glasses, tri-athlete) who happpens to be a professor (was at TCU, then TCC, now doing something with a private corp).....

    The only reason I'm not all over him is I think my BFF has fooled around with him.

    I'm just sayin'- he might be fun.

    There is a Prince Albert involved.

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  9. OMG! All hail the prince! Love the bald/glasses bit especially. And the ex-professor bit.

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  10. Hmmm...

    You'll have to show me these profiles sometime this week while we're in the office.

    Any more responses?

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  11. very cool - good luck hon.

    i met boyfriend online, you know :)

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  12. E, will do! I've gotten four, deleted 2.

    Soj, I didn't know you met him online!! I see there is hope. :)

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  13. My last day with them as a paying customer was today. I met 2 men. One turned out to be relation, the other a depressed warthog looking for someone to pity him. Good luck to you. I've switched to Yahoo. I'm having the same kind of luck there too. Good pics, btw. If I were a sex crazed man, I'd be e-mailing you too.

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  14. What an utterly wonderful, hilarious, smart-ass, totally Andi thing to post! I can't wait to find out if any of them turn out to be non-losers.

    BTW, one of my bestest email buddies met his wife online and moved across the Atlantic Ocean to be with her.

    Oh, and another thing . . . I forgot to say I've never read anything un-little-womenish by Louisa May Alcott, either. Want my copy when I finish? Might be a while, but I'd love to share it.

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  15. Should be a fun experiment to ahem, watch unfold. Go Andi!

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  16. I so love you. Let's just run away, get married, and move to Europe! Hey, I at least meet like 2 of your criteria! (Not the tall or well-endowed parts!!!)

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  17. Thanks, Kat. I think you're way more happenin' than any of the men who have e-mailed me so far. Let's make each other pee a little from laughin' too hard. :D

    Wow, Nancy, movin' across the ocean and all! Good stuff. And I would love to inherit your copy of the Alcott. Take all the time ya want because I'll be reading thesis stuff til May. lol

    Thanks, Dale!

    Cincy, you're on! And you're intellectually well-endowed which is all I really care about anyway. As for the tall, that's a trick criteria. I'm 5'3" so virtually everyone is tall to me.

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  18. Andi,

    I'll let you know when I finish the book, so I can get your snail mail. Then, you can stick the book on a shelf while your brain is stuck in thesis mode and dig it up later. Books just love to be shared, ya know. :)

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  19. Well, if you're looking for a guy that you can make pee from laughing too hard, I would guess that you might also get a lot of replies from men who have trouble with their prostates.

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  20. I love it! I had a friend that posted a similar profile on Match several years ago and she actually met nicer guys that way. Here's hoping it works better for you too!!

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  21. Kudos to your for going the blatantly honest route. Will be interested to see how it all turns out.

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