Be in the moment....

Picture it with me. Goose emerges from his shower. His hair is a bit droopier after a washing. He looks surprisingly like Jesus; especially with a towel on his head. All he really needs is a rope to tie around and maybe a hammer. He coughs the hacking, wheezing, toenail ripping cough of an 80-year-old Jewish hospice patient.

I say, "And Jesus coughed."

Jeremy says, "Isn't that the shortest verse in the Bible?"

I reply, "Jesus coughed. And the platypus came into the world."

The baddest cat in the whole damn town....

What'd you say, bitch?!

Stuff on my Cat

The proof...

Here are a few of the prettier moments of the trip. The really gross pics are staying in the vault.

Jeremy...pre-drinks believe it or not. There would be more, but he needs to OK them before they're posted (gestapo).


An intense moment while watching curling. We love curling. We're going to start a street league.


The gang in action. Or about to be.


This is the way Goose sleeps. Yes, he's on his stomach with his head between two pillows. And he always has a towel somewhere near his head.


Elise. Passed out. Passed smoothe out.


Elise in her natural habitat.


The poster child for canned drinks. He took a flat of 'em home and doesn't he look happy about it?


Who is that woman in the corner in the glasses? It's me! It's me! Because it's only fair if I'm photo-outing all my friends.

Travelogue: Little Rock, 06

Welcome to my trip to Little Rock. Fasten your condoms (reference to Father of the Bride....pick up your jaw).

Jeremy played chauffeur on this grand trek. He picked Elise up, he picked me up, we picked Goose up, and we went to the liquor store (I bought a head-sized bottle of watermelon pucker and a sixer of Smirnoff Black Cherry, Elise purchased the king-sized bottle of Aftershock, and Goose picked up a nifty bottle of clearance orange cough syrup), and then we finally hit the interstate around 2. Four hours later we rolled into Little Rock, right on up to the Comfort Inn and Suites and the bitchin' party commenced.

We were expecting a sweet suite, but as I posted earlier, it was more like a sugarless suite. Whatever, we went drinking immediately. Revert to the earlier post about the piano bar to hear about my midnight hurling.

Before we hit the streets of the big city we watched a bitchin' round of Olympic curling. It was Sweden vs. Switzerland, and boy could those bitches curl. I think we scared the neighbors when Sweden knocked both of Switzerlands rocks off the board and we screamed like orgasming banshees. While we're talking about it, check out the curling calendar.

Friday dawned painful (also in the aforementioned post). We were generally worthless for the entirity of Friday as we were hung over and wanted to die. Friday night we ate at Sticky Fingerz (not the Carolina rib restaurant I love more than air). Even though it wasn't my favorite Sticky Fingers, it was delicious even while hung over. I wanted to steal all of their funky folky art. We went back to the room, had an obligatory cocktail, and went to bed.

Saturday was our day to present and we did a fucking fantastic job. We're going to attempt to pool our conference papers and publish it in The Writing Center Journal or some such English rag. Since we were so happy with our showing, we had a few shots in the room and went to lunch with Dr. C and her grandmotha. We went back to the room, we had a few more shots, we took a nap.

Saturday night we were back in fine form, so we decided to be adventurous and go for Mexican food. Now, for a Texan...living in the capital of all Tex-Mexness...the new true Mexican food, it takes big balls to eat Mexican somewhere else. Our Croatian shuttle driver told us there was a good place nearby. 10 painful minutes of driving later, and as we began to feel that our lives might be in danger, we pulled up to a skanky Mexican place. Generally if the place looks horrid and it's full of real Mexican people it's gonna be GOOD. Authentic good.

NOT. SO. MUCH.

I ordered enchiladas since they're generally universally safe. Little did I know I was going to be served a house special: Enchiladas con goat CUM. The sauce was clearish. It tasted like pineapple. I think it was from a pineapple-eatin' goat. After that, we needed drinks. Back to the piano bar we went. So disappointing the second time around. A fat man with a boa (feathers) danced a lot. He grabbed his new wife's tits on stage. Sorority girls had birthdays. blah blah-fucking-blah. The drinks were VERY weak. I paid $41 for Malibu'less cokes and a shot of sweet and sour disguised as a kamikaze.

Yesterday: we felt like ass. We drove home in relative silence.

That's the general recap. Funny shit comin'...but not goat cummin'.

I've GOT to go to bed....

I'm so completely OCD when it comes to my reading and writing for school. I need to get a grip and go the fuck to bed. The irony: I still somehow manage to not finish reading books for my asswhip class.

Must sleep must sleep must sleep....

To do tomorrow:
website updates for work
read read read
post pics and funnies
read read read
curse myself for not going to bed earlier
download "Mad World" from the Donnie Darko soundtrack

On TV: Fresh Prince (not watching)
Listening: "Nobody's Home" ...Avril Lavigne
Reading: The New Algorithm of Evil (article about children's Holocaust literature) by So-and-So Baer
In my head: Leftover Aftershock

On the road again...

Still in Little Rock. We'll be heading out in about an hour and a half (because that's checkout time). We've had a good stay, I must say. We made the most of a town that is a little less than stunning and there are pics to prove it. Not many pics. Just one really good one of Daniel and a few of the rest of us looking like ass. You'll see once I finagle the written permission out of Lil E, J-rod, and the Dan-Goose. Anyway, can't wait to get home. I've had a good time, I just want to be back in my bed with puppies curled up around me. And from what I can tell, my mother has plague, or at least she sounds an awful lot like it.

Travelogue to come....

Hang over me....

THEY HAVE A COMPUTER CENTER!

Woot woot! The effin' Hyatt in Abuquerque didn't have a business center, but the Comfort Inn in Little Rock does. Go figure.

So I've boasted here about the fact that I am rarely hung over and never yak post-drinkage. Well, the winning streak came to a splattery end last night. I hit the trash can, don't worry. I woke up early morning'ish feeling as if my tongue had spontaneously outgrown my mouth. I didn't have cotton mouth, I had Peter-effin'-Cottontail mouth (going easy on the cursing so as not to kick off the filter on this godforsaken computer).

I went to my first piano bar, and it was a rollicking good time. I don't think I've ever scream-sang my way through Sweet Home Alabama the way I did last night. Boy howdy.

Our suite isn't sweet.

Lunch was Italian. Fruit is good.

I love water.

More later....

Gone wild again....

Alright my lovelies...I'll be at a conference in Little Rock, Arkansas until Sunday. Pray for my soul.

I had a whole post on a gang of cats planned out, but it'll just have to wait.

Smoochies.

Thank you!

Many thanks to all of you who left me sweet messages today for the blogaversary! I really have had a wonderful time blogging for the last year, and I've been SO lucky to meet so many fantastic (twisted) people.

What IS literature?

Jeremy, Daniel (Goose) and I are starting a new blog. Tongue firmly in cheek, we present What is Literature??

Blogaversary....shine on!

The day has arrived...my one-year blogaversary!!

I'm actually not as excited about it as I might normally be because I had a blog before this one that ran for about 6-8 months...before I was urged to give it up. So, I feel like an old pro. Or maybe just old.

I've provided you all a beautiful designer cake from Elegant Cheesecakes. And I think it's time for presents.

Leave a comment telling me what sort of outlandish gift you would give me if I wasn't some stranger on a blog in a faraway land.

And if you're a lurker who's been reading for a while but you've never commented, you're warmly encouraged to say hello. Anonymous commenters welcome for one day (maybe two).

In other news, I'm thinking seriously of buying my own domain and starting a webzine, and I'd like to recruit some of my bestest bloggin' buddies to write for it. Men, don't feel bad if you don't get asked because it'll most likely be a snarky chick rag.

Must go stuff envelopes! I'll be back later!

Another lonely day and no one here but me...

I would make a great hermit. I realized today that I spend a LOT of time alone in my bedroom...and not in the fun way. I feel kind of bad that I only really see my mom a) in passing b) at meals. Most of the time I stay holed up in my bedroom because it's where my books are, my school stuff, my research materials, my desk, my laptop (stroke stroke). My work and my fun are contained in this one microcosm of bookish goodness. Although, to be fair to the CD's and DVD's and 27" TV, they're in here too and are used religiously.

I've decided I stay tucked away because I talk ALL THE TIME. By the nature of my work nowadays, I'm more or less a professional talker. Even more than I'm a professional reader/writer. If I'm not teaching something or tutoring something or bullshitting with professors and my fellow grad students I'm at home in my little hobbit hole. Sometimes I come home at night and I can literally barely speak from all the strain. Or sometimes whatever does leak out of my mouth against my will is full of venom, so I just come to my room.

I bet baristas don't drink much coffee at home. I bet gynecologists don't dive for the pussy every night. I bet construction workers don't play with linkin' logs.

Makes perfect sense to me.

Just cast away and I am lost at sea oh
Another lonely day and no one here but me oh
More loneliness than any man could bare
Rescue me before I fall into despair

I send an S.O.S. to the world
I send an S.O.S. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle
Message in a bottle
Heyy

Note: I am in no way sending out a cry for help. Stay the fuck away or you'll lose a limb. It just happens to be the John Mayer song playing right now.

And another note: Click on ole Hay-seuss up there for the full-sized PostSecret. It's my favorite from this week's batch. Comforting, eh?

TV: Miranda Lambert (she's hot)..."Kerosene"
In my head: Victory.

Sluggish Sunday

I need to be doing work, but I feel like this:


Apparently Dash feels the same:


And here's a normal pic to counteract the horror:



Watching: Fat Camp? Only on MTV.
Reading: wah wah wah wah (Charlie Brown's teacher's voice)
In my head: Dust bunnies.

Quick question....

Is the TagBoard causing massive popups for anyone? My blocker is catching them, but if it's a pain in the ass I'll take it down.

Note: More new stuff at Projectile Reviews. You can expect more regular updates, so if you like the bookish love, come see me.

Gerty hates me....

Gertrude Stein that is.

New post at Projectile Reviews.

Blog Horn

...blowin' for my bitches. Two of my "real life" friends have started blogs, and you should go bask in the goodness.

Jeremy (aka J-rod, J-dawg, J-money {he's cringing right now}) has started
A Disturbed Universe. He's been hovering over on my sidebar for a while now, but I wanted to officially blow the horn on him.

Goose (Daniel) has started Lord Lord John Lord Grandmaster Journeyman Animal Tamer Poetry. He keeps changing the name and the description, so I've linked him as Goose: Master Poetry Poopsmith.

These are the crazy effers I get to work with and drink with. Cheers my lovelies. Now we just need to sucker Elise into blogging.

Facial fungus.

The title doesn't get much more self-explanatory than that....

I woke up yesterday feeling as if the weenie dog had humped my face all night long. In other words, it was red and a little itchy. No white residue. Today it's itchy and a little scaley and tight. With my luck it's some flesh-eating fungus from a wayward tropical flea. It's not terribly noticeable, thank Allah, but I can tell, and it pisses me off.

I was not in the mood for morons or douchebags today, and they were plentiful anyway. It was just one of those days when the students didn't wanna be there, I didn't wanna be there, and I had Gertrude Stein staring at me from my book bag. I'm proud to say I've conquered half of Gerty, and I might actually be able to finish by tomorrow night's class. Even if it's not on time I WILL conquer. And not in that lesbianish way that would be appropriate since we're talking about Gertrude Stein. Pervs.

Watching: Friends
Listening: Alison Krauss

Valentines with style...

Travelogue: Albuquerque '06, Installment 2

So that brings us to day three of the trip, day two of the actual conference. *drum roll*....presentation day. I woke up Thursday morning expecting to be sick-nervous, but I actually wasn't as bad off as expected. Seeing the panel presentations on Wednesday took some of the pressure off.

Our panel, Coloring America: Strategizing Cultural Identities in Contemporary Graphic Narrative went on at 8am. I skipped breakfast, got my happy ass ready, and was 30 mins early so I could read back over my paper and make some scratchy notes. J-Low, D-rock, and the 4th on our panel (a guy from Carleton University...Ottawa, Ontario) arrived soon after. Much to our chagrin and pissiness they apparently ran out of those fake walls they use to split ballrooms into smaller rooms. The only thing partitioning our panel from Creative Writing was a curtain. Curtains don't do shit for blocking out noise, so we had to yell over the creative writers and they are a rowdy crowd. We had maybe 10-15 people at our panel, which for an 8:00'er is pretty good. I was most nervous about the Q&A, but since we all took our full time to read our papers, we only had 10 mins leftover. No weird questions. Yay!

I was satisfied with my reading for a number of reasons:

1. I sounded like I have personality. I know, I do, but I didn't know if it'd sound like it.
2. They laughed in the right places.
3. I saw some head-nods.
4. I made a joke when my shirt got caught on a pin holding the table skirt on.
5. I interjected some off-the-cuff remarks that worked.
6. I got a couple of questions after the panel was over since we didn't have for much Q&A.

All these things do a happy first-time presenter make.

I hoofed it back to the hotel to change into jeans and out of my heels, hoofed it back to the conference and attended the following panels...

Children's and Young Adult Lit: Reading Between the Lines and Under the Surface - Good panel, but one paper in particular was superlative..."Everyone Lived Happily, Though Maybe Not Completely Honestly, Ever After: The Lessons of the Stinky Cheese Man and his Bookmates." Whew! What a title, but the paper was awesome. And for those of you who dig postmodern picture books, fairy tales, or just wanna take my great advice, read Stinky Cheese Man.

Children's and Young Adult Lit: Taking Back Power Once Denied in Young Adult Culture - I missed the first paper because I popped in on another paper dealing with Michael Cunningham's The Hours. The second paper made my ass implode. The author was a theater person, and while I love theater people, she put WAY too much acting in her reading. And 20 direct quotes didn't help either. The final paper was the one I really liked. It dealt with fairy tales in YA literature, and specifically on works by Emma Donoghue (Kissing the Witch) and a couple of others...some of which I mentioned in my paper, too. I decided to do a little networking, so I approached the prof afterwards and introduced myself. Turns out she went to grad school with D-rock (the prof on my panel). I swear, that man gets around. Anyway, got her e-mail, so I can pick her brain. She was very very nice.

That was the last panel I attended on Thursday. Three out of the four girls (me included) went back to the hotel, fell asleep, woke up around 8pm, ordered pizza, talked til all hours, and went back to sleep.

Party animals aren't we?

Final installment to come. The final installment shall include all the weird and/or scandalous shit you've come to expect.

On TV: Raymond
Listening: Alison Krauss & Union Station..."Goodbye is All We Have"
Reading: A LOT!
In my head: Tension headache.

If we want this administration out....

...maybe we should just send them all out hunting together. Who knew it would be that easy?

Cheney Accidentally Shoots Fellow Hunter

Travelogue: Albuquerque '06, Installment 1

To the shock of most of my compadres and myself, I had a fantastic time in Albuquerque. Admittedly, I was a little nervous about the trip given that none of my peeps (shout out: Goose, Corruptor, J-rod) were going. I felt very nekkidified by the whole thing, but we did some bonding (not bondage) and I had a wonderful time. Now there will probably be nasty stories about me floating around the department Monday because they all secretly hated me and wanted to fling me over the balcony. But at least I have the memories.

We left town at 6am Tuesday morning in the Happy-Sunny-Fun-Bus (technical term for the university van). There were 8 of us. I spent most of the trip up not listening to David's mp3 player and not watching movies because D-rock was blasting Woody Allen CD's. Good times. We jumped out of the van at every available opportunity to take pictures and frolick, thus putting us in Albuquerque around 7:00ish. It shouldn't have taken that long, but we were really keen to frolick. We checked in, walked up and down Central Ave. (main drag) until someone said "WE ARE EATING HERE" and we all piled into a pasta bar. It was sort of like herding cats to get us all to make a decision on ANYTHING that first night. Politeties and all.

Wednesday dawned chilly and the girls--there were four of us in one room of The Hotel Blue--walked the 5 blocks to the boys' hotel which just happened to be the conference hotel and the Hyatt. Fuckers. We registered at 11, and it was then that I realized the magnitude of my first, academic conference. Over 1,000 people. I felt my bowels let out a groan, folks. But there were real Scottish boys with real Scottish accents in kilts there, and that made everything OK somehow.

Note: I paid approximately $140 in registration to attend this conference. They gave us a backpack as a goody. $140 backpack. But it's nice. I shall use it. And it's not even too cheesey lookin'. Better than a pen.

Panels started at 1:00 and I managed to squeeze in three of 'em on the first day. My head HURT like a motherfucker at the end of Day 1. For those of you not familiar with this panel business, it's a group of 2-4 related papers on a broad topic. Each paper lasts about 20 mins and there's Q&A at the end putting each panel at approximately 1.5 hours.

The panels I attended throughout day 1:

1. Sci-fi/Fantasy: Sex, Death, and Philosophy in the Whedonverse...a panel on Buffy, people! OH my fucking god. I'm SO in the right field. One of the papers didn't show for that one, and an overweight Canadian man did Tai-chi, but it was a nice experience. And the kilt was there.

2. Women's Studies: Entertainment and Gender Stereotypes...I went for a paper on Jessica Simpson as compared to Lucille Ball and that relationship's applicability to Postfeminism. It was one of the best presentations throughout. There was also a guy giving a paper on Bond girls and how they've changed from the early days to now. I thought he was going to have his scrotum forcefully removed at one point. Good times.

3. Computer Culture: The Blog Explosion: From the Sublime to the Ridiculous...this one was a bloody disaster. The first paper was almost unintelligible, the second was boring but decent, and the third was on Filipino mail-order brides. I gave it up after that and went to dinner.

We met several people that D-rock went to graduate school with (I've lost all control of the English language, apparently). NETWORKING! Woot! After that first full day of conference-fun we met one of his professor friends from Iowa State. She was incredibly interesting and we all chatted over Tai food (my first Tai food). She teaches multi-ethnic lit, and we discussed my plan to PhD in children's and multi-ethnic. She thought it was a great idea given the fact that on their last search they almost couldn't find ANYONE with both of those specializations. She taught at East Carolina University for 2 years, so we discussed NC, too. We also hung out with a couple of librarians from LSU one of which saw my paper title in the program and HAD to come see it. I had a fan base. Yay!

Enough of this first installment. More to come.....

The walking tour.....

I'm home and in one piece...even though I feel like hammered shit today. Here are some lame pictures for your viewing pleasure. I'm an admittedly bad picture taker.



The view from our hotel balcony. Mountains...in the distance. I wish I'd gotten some closer mountain pics, but it was not to be.



The Hotel Blue in downtown Albuquerque. It had a really cool deco thing going on. Swanky-panky indeed. And cheap. Yay for cheap!



The lobby. They had cookies every day. What couldbe better than that?



Charming downtown Albuquerque. Unlike Dallas, the city of the undead downtown, Albuquerque had a lot of fun-lookin' clubs, restaurants that stayed open past 5:00pm, and other little shops and nooks. I hit up the used bookstore, and I'm sure none of you are surprised.



The Newkirk, NM post office/gas station. Our gas light was on, and we just happened upon this most picture-worthy locale. There was a chicken running around outside. A CHICKEN! Free range I'm sure.



A mesa. I fuckin' love mesas. I want one in my backyard now. I will have one.

Stories to come.

Take Five

This shall be my last post before I run away to Albuquerque for five days. I should be back to posting on Sunday sometime. Wish me luck and cross your parts that I don't throw up before I present and that when I do present I don't make a complete fool of myself.

I've packed the usual shitload of girly stuff that one must take when staying away at a conference for five days: dress clothes, not dressy clothes, hairdryer, flat iron, hair products, makeup, shampoo and conditioner, tweezers, toenail clippers, CD's, DVD's, DVD player, books, books, books, a dwarf, a squirrel coat, and a Swiss Army knife.

Drop me a line and let me know if you miss me, so I'll have something bloggy to look forward to when I come home.

Watching: The Good Girl
Listening: Rascal Flatts
Reading: Close Range, by Annie Proulx

P.S. Brokeback Mountain was amazing. I shall own it as soon as it hits the shelves. There wasn't any gratuitous gayness and Heath and Jake gave inspired performances. It made me cry. Go see it as soon as you can.

Squeee!

Today's agenda: Indian food at the Clay Pit (go to the website and look at the yumminess), voted best Indian food in DFW! Next, Brokeback Mountain at the Magnolia and gelato somewhere nearby. Now if we could only put gelato and gay cowboys together.

Just saw that the Inwood Theater is doing midnight movies every weekend. February 24th and 25th is DONNIE DARKO Director's Cut!!!! I'm gonna be out of town and of course there's no Landmark theater in Little Rock. UGGG! I would love to see Donnie on the big screen. *cry*

Running on Empty

I've successfully driven myself into the ground over the last week. I've spent so much time up late reading for this or that class, writing this or that paper or blog post, and watching Donnie Darko that I want to sleep for three days. Better suck up all the sleep I can while I'm still in my own bed because I'll either be sleeping with someone next week (one of the chicks I'm rooming with pervies--and did I mention there are 4 of us in a room?) or on the floor in a sleeping bag.

Quote o'the day...compliments of moi:

Andi says:
it's called "networking" you know
Andi says:
but it's really thinly veiled whoring

I bought some cute stuff yesterday. Two pairs of trousers...one dark grey, one black; a cream top that's sleeveless, got a weird v-neck thing happening.....a very thin v and rather plunging but still tasteful (I feel an HNT coming on); a sage sweatery thing to go over the cream for daytime or I can ditch it at night. I was pretty happy with the purchases even though it took 4 hours to find those few pieces.

With my sustained sanity in mind, I bought a portable DVD player today. I'll be watching movies on the 12-hour trek to Albuquerque instead of listening to incessant yammering. I WILL sit in the passenger seat or the middle seat so I can hook into the cigarette lighter. Pray for my soul.

TV: The American President
Listening: Rascal Flatts..."What Hurts the Most"
Reading: Words About Pictures (Nodelman)
In my head: The rumble of the past.

Fuck

Just typed a long post. Lost it. Tired. Going to take a nap. More later.

Heavy on the retail, light on the therapy....

It's raining in DFW which means that we're all fucked because, after a drought this long, people don't remember how to navigate amidst precipitation. In turn, that means I'm fucked because I'm going to Mesquite to look for snazzy new clothes for my conference. Want items:

Sweaters (v-necks preferably)
Trousers (straight leg and maybe a pencil skirt too)
Some kick-ass boots
Jewelry
Possibly a scarf

So the scarf is more fitting to NM weather than TX, but I want a pretty one anyway because it's gonna be coool out there.

I feel like I could throw up (and almost did earlier), but I'm gonna brave the elements and find me some purty clothes anyway. Why? Because I leave Tuesday.

Aside: there's a crazy bizzle on the Today show who actually devised a "stiletto" workout program. Women are exercising in fucking heels now?? I want to see a man in the fucking stiletto class.

Tadaaa!

Here's the beautimous new template that Heather whipped up for me. I loooove it. So springy and fresh. Still need to tweak the fonts here and there, but I'm off to bed for now.

G'nite my lovelies.

PostSecret got it right again....

I didn't make this one, but it could be me someday.

Anyone in the market for a good short story (Heather, Amanda, Dena, Jeremy, David)...read this. "The Destructors" by Graham Greene. It's part of what has thrown me into deep reflection. It's one of the main focuses in Donnie Darko.

http://oldwww.upol.cz/~prager/e_texts/destructors.htm

Hmmphf & Donnie Darko

Silly me made a bet of sorts with my friends that I can refrain from making any sexual comments (even innuendo) for a week. Watch. Me. Lose. Actually, to my great advantage I'll only see my friends approximately 2 days out of the next 7 thanks to the New Mexico conference. Jeremy mentioned my "obnoxious little sexual comments" which is what brought this on. I can make all the sexual comments on my blog that I want, so I say, "Jeremy, kiss my tookus." And I mean that with sincere admiration and the highest esteem. And good luck teaching tomorrow (which will probably be today when you read this).

So I'm thinking of a paper to write over Donnie Darko. Most will think I'm nutty as a fruitcake for writing about a movie, but I'm a grad student and writer, and film falls into the English category, so watch me go.

This is the key:

Deus ex machina (deus ex māchinā, plural deī ex māchinīs) originated with Greek and Roman theater, when a mechane would lower actors playing a god or gods on stage to resolve a hopeless situation. Thus, "god comes from the machine". The phrase deus ex machina has been extended to refer to any resolution to a story which does not pay due regard to the story's internal logic and is so unlikely it challenges suspension of disbelief; allowing the author to conclude the story with an unlikely, but more palatable ending.

But more importantly:

The notion of Deus ex machina can also be applied to a revelation within a story experienced by a character, narrator, etc, which involves the individual realizing that the complicated, sometimes perilous or mundane and perhaps seemingly unrelated sequence of events leading up to this point in the story are joined together by some profound concept. Thus the unexpected and timely intervention is aimed at the meaning of the story rather than a physical event in the plot.

So much to think about. Move along. I'm doing this for my own good so I don't forget it.