Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Holy shit...

I'm so tired.


Yesterday--the first day back--went very well. My two classes at the university seem like they'll be ok. The afternoon class seems a bit more receptive to everything in general, but I'm trying not to make any snap judgments. I told them a bit about the course, we did an icebreaker and then they wrote an introductory essay for the rest of the period. It's weird teaching a 50 minute class. It goes SO fast. I've never taught anything less than an hour and 15 mins at a time, so this is heaven. Tomorrow we go over the syllabus and have our first class discussion. Wish me luck learning all these names.

Today was another long day: got up at 8, got my hair redded from 10:00-12:30 (pics to come), ran home to change, went to the jc for a bit, and then on to the university for my Adolescent Lit class from 4:30-7:10. Now my brain hurts but I need to read The Book Thief for a bit.


More later.

Watching: Sex & the City

P.S. The weirdest thing I said today was, "I need to write Elise a check for half the fridge, my desk calendar, and a lobster."

Listening: "New Favorite"...Alison Krauss and Union Station

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Goin's-On and Pics

It's been a whirlwind few days chock full of school stuff and merriment. Friday's orientation was uneventful. Pretty much par for the course from last year. I was MUCH better at the ice breaker name game thing we always have to play. It's great to not be the new person. After a mixer at Graduate Director's house we all had libations and dancing at Cyn's house. Good times were had by most.

Yesterday Elise and I made a last-minute shopping trip in the lateish afternoon to buy up stuff for the office. We got cute stuff and functional stuff and whatnot. Today was a trip to Dallas to get the most functional of functional things--a refrigerator! We went to the office after shopping and lunch at the Clay Pit to set up. Which leads me to the pics!

Yes, we have a Jesus clock. A last supper clock to be precise. The sequence we're teaching in our English classes focuses on the intersection of religious belief and campus life, so we have various relics sitting around--some buddhas and stuff.

This is my side of the office. Notice the red lamp, which officially qualifies our office as the university "red light district." Now if I could only find a pole.

The coolest poster in the whole damn town. I bought this "READ" poster featuring Ani DiFranco for Elise for her birthday this year. Looks right at home with our red candy bowl full of sugar free candy, doesn't it? You can also see the bottom of one of our buddhas on the top of the shelves. He's holding a pink tea light!

The full view. You can just see the edge of our kitchen area on the far right (front) with our fridge and microwave stacked up. We stole that lovely fan from the writing center, and Elise's desk is the one nearest the bookshelves. She was nice enough to provide the two Salvador Dali prints that are on the top of the shelves, as well as two really cool prints over her desk. I will be taking a nicely framed Dave Matthews Band poster tomorrow to hang near my desk. Overall it turned out much more spacious than we anticipated. It shall be known simply as "the fun girl office."

I'm actually getting pretty excited about this thesis thing, as well as my classes (teaching and taking). I was originally scheduled to teach one Eng 101 class, but they gave me a second at the last minute. I'll be teaching at 11 and 2 (MWF) with office hours in the middle. Should be able to get a good bit of work done. Yay!

For now, I must go put the finishing touches on my syllabi for tomorrow. Expect my next blog post to originate from my very cool office. *squeeee*

Listening: The Primetime Emmys

Friday, August 25, 2006

So tired that I can't sleep....

Don't wanna go back to work tomorrow. Do. Not. Wanna.

The good stuff:
  • I have an office with E.
  • I get a faculty parking sticker.
  • I'm a little over half done with this degree.
  • I'm off on Tuesdays and Thursdays (sorta).

The shitty stuff:

  • I'm gonna be really busy.
  • I have 15 books staring at me, all primed to be used for thesis writing.
  • My comps are coming up unbelievably fast (like in September).
  • I'm gonna be REALLY busy.

Orientation is tomorrow at 9am. Gotta go pretend to sleep.

Listening: "Daylight Robbery"...Imogen Heap

Thursday, August 24, 2006


I'm done with the paper. God, I'm so tired it's unreal. I'm going to begin the House-a-thon with a bowl of low-carb turtle ice cream and a nap.

Back when I've recovered.

Listening: "Over My Head"...The Fray

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Goodnight Irene, Good Morning HOUSE!

It's been an eventful day and night, kids. Good times were had by all. We'll start with last night because I'm a fan of chronological order.

Elise, Jeremy, Charles, and myself met up around 7:30ish for cocktails and merriment at E's house. We putzed around til around 9:30 at which time we piled into the Jeremy family SUV and hit the road to Dallas to Club Dada for Mixtapes and Babyfights starring the ever fuckin' awesome Hardin Sweaty and the Ready to Go. Before Hardin Sweaty we were at times entertained and at times completely tortured by local comedians. The first one = thumbs down. The second guy = thumbs pretty high up. The third guys = ohmygod-made-the-second-guy-get-even-higher-thumbs-up-because-they-were-AWFUL.

Then Hardin Sweaty hit the stage and we were positively blown away by the excellent guitar skills of our friend Goose (master poetry poopsmith), and the equally excellent bass, drum, and vocal skills of his partners in crime. Now, I have to say, even though I love the Goose, I went into the show with a healthy amount of skepticism because I'm really picky about live music. Live performances are the test of a musician's worth for me, and I honestly have to say, Hardin Sweaty is AMAZING. Goose promised me all along that it would rock so hard my face would melt off Chernobyl-style, and I might walk out of the place all aglow. Well, the guys certainly didn't disappoint. There was much head bobbing, bouncing around, and screaming. After which I bought the entire Hardin Sweaty library including the new album, Elephant Gun. I urge any and all of you in the Dallas area to check out Hardin Sweaty, and those of you around the world, go check out their website or stream some of their music on Myspace (I recommend "Aunt Ant"...my personal favorite). I want an "I Like it Hardin Sweaty" t-shirt. Goose, see if you can arrange that.

NOW, on the other really-good-thing-happened front--obviously I got home late after I designatedly drove us all home. Then I stayed up watching Scrubs until 4:30. So, this morning when the doorbell rang at 10:30, I was a bit pissed. I lounged here in my bed (where I still am) thinking of how much I didn't want to get up, but I finally did, and what did I find at the door? A box from Amazon. My sleep-addled brain couldn't wrap around the why's of the Amazon box at my door. Even when I opened it and found the second season of House, I kept thinking, "But I didn't order this. Does Amazon know me so well that they just send me cool shit now?" Then I looked at the shipping form, and it was from none other than Os!!!!! He left a comment yesterday which simply said, "I did something that I think will break you out of your funk."

I'm FUNKLESS now!!! I immediately popped that puppy into the DVD player and watched all the extras and the one episode I missed this season--"All In". And everyone knows "All In" is the best episode because House TOTALLY lusts after Cameron in the red dress. *fans self*

Shut up. I know I'm a dork, but it's OK. Dorks are fun.

So, a very special THANK YOUUUUU to Os for making my day. A day when I have to finish my paper, and then I'll begin a 24-hour-long HOUSE-a-thon.

Listening: "Robot Apocalypse"....Hardin Sweaty & the Ready to Go

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Tuesday mornin' comin' down....and a personals ad

I'm thinking of telling people I've taken up boxing. Because it's much cooler than "two labs smashed my face into the floor." The bright side is that this bruised bridge will match my eye makeup for the Hardin Sweaty show tonight. No one will notice.

Of course the moment I begin to fall truly, madly, messily in love with Scrubs, Zach Braff announces that he's leaving the show to work exclusively in film. *sigh*

As the school year creeps stealthily upon us, I find myself falling back into the every-fall habit of talking about shit no one cares about but me. The blog might be boring for a bit, babies. I'm short-sighted and self-absorbed, so I refuse to entertain you at the expense of my own angst. Tongue firmly in cheek. Sort of.

On the subject of shit no one cares about: the paper is tipping over the the halfway point. I shall overcome!

Since I might as well try to make you giggle with my sardonic wit, I give you a personals ad as I imagine I would write one...

SWF seeks non-douchebag who enjoys intellectual endeavors, reading, loud music, silliness, crass humor, cursing, food adventures, travel, and existential thought. The bi-curious, retarded (completely subjective), co-dependent, spineless, asexual, and he-mannish need not apply. Preferential treatment given to the tall, artistic, hilarious, and well-endowed among you. Let's get together--make each other pee a little from laughing too hard.

Listening: "Warning Sign"...Coldplay

Monday, August 21, 2006

This is not normal....

So. Sick.

In addition, last night just wasn't my night apparently because I made the dumbass mistake of attempting to be horizontal in the floor within earshot of Elise's two chocolate labs (Kahlua 60-65ish pounds, Durango 65-70ish pounds) that love me. They jumped right in the middle of me and squished my nose into the floor. I now have a very red, very sore nose and a bloody nose ring. I slapped a salt water soak on it this morning so I should be well on the way to nose piercing recovery. Injuries and I seem to be fast friends as of late.

On the way from Netflix: the next 2 discs of season 1 of Scrubs.

Edit: I was supposed to run some errands today (pick up latest paycheck, deposit two most recent paychecks, drop off tape for Rachel to move my beloved Hugh from her TIVO to my living room, drop off DISK OF PICS FOR MOST ANNOYING PROFESSOR EVER!). It's that last one that'll probably come back to bite me in the ass. BUT, given the fact that I feel like ass, I certainly could've thrown up on her desk if she really wanted me to make the trip. I would've enjoyed it!

But I'm not bitter.

Son of edit: Half done with this fuckin' paper.

Listening: "Hide and Seek"...Imogen Heap

Another bookish meme....

Lifted from Amanda A.....

First book to leave a lasting impression? Hmmm, I used the Great Expectations story in the last book post I did, so I'll go with something low-brow that really made me love to read as a kiddo. As a child, I was WAY into horror. I started reading L.J. Smith and R.L. Stine books in my pre-preteen days. As a teen I moved on to Stephen King. L.J. Smith was undoubtedly my favorite author as a very young person...The Vampire Diaries in particular. They appealed to my now-repressed hopeless romantic side and I always felt a bit naughty reading them (no sex or anything, but they were sucking each other's blood for heaven's sake). They were the first books to really enrapture me and transport me out of my living room into some truly exciting adventure. I'm always astounded when people tell me they were reading "literature" at a young age. I was just soooo not into that! Not until high school, actually.

Which author would you most like to be? Siri Hustvedt. She's absolutely brilliant, she leads an interesting life, and her writing is impeccable. She's concerned with big, sometimes risque ideas (especially in the realm of gender roles and identity), and I just adore everything of hers I've ever read.

Name the book that has most made you want to visit a place? Hmm. That's a really tough question, actually. I tend to be very aloof when it comes to place in books. I'm much more concerned with characters, and you could pretty much plunk them down anywhere and it wouldn't matter much to me.

Which contemporary author will still be read in 100 years? Updike, Morrison, Atwood, yadda yadda yadda. I'm rooting for: Siri Hustvedt, Joyce Carol Oates, Philip Pullman.

Which book would you recommend to a teenager reluctant to try 'literature'? I always told my high school students that there was a book for everyone. It was just a matter of figuring out what that book might be. One of my biggest accomplishments as a teacher was handing Huckleberry Finn to one of my students who HATED to read, and he gulped it down in a matter of days. And I never got my book back. But that's OK...he needed it more than I did. So, to make a convoluted story make sense--it's all about the teenager and their likes/dislikes, and it's important for them to have someone to talk to about a book in order to process it and get excited about it. Incidentally, one of my football players read the entire Inferno after we discussed bits in class. Again, the right book for the right kid.

Name your best recent literary discovery. I haven't read anything in a month. No discoveries as of late. Damnit.

Which author's fictional world would you most like to live in? I wanna go to Hogwarts!!!! Thank you, J.K. Rowling.

Name your favorite poet? T.S. Eliot...no doubt about it. I still read "The Waste Land" a few times a year, and it just gets better.

What's the best non-fiction title you've read this year? In Cold Blood. I never imagined true crime could be so stirring, atmospheric, and make me empathize with a killer.

Which author do you think is much better than his/her reputation? Jennifer Weiner. Yes, she writes chick lit, but as an academic I'm incredibly interested in the issues of media and self-image that she writes about. I have a whole theory about chick lit as a result of American media culture as opposed to the general idea that its a "British invasion" sort of deal. Blah blah blah.

Sunday, August 20, 2006


I'm academically constipated!!! I can feel the paper hovering there just inside my head, and it's building, and building. And now it's starting to hurt, but it just won't DISLODGE! I just need to spew 12 pages of bullshit by Thursday, and I can go on with my life (thesis). Fuck.

In the meantime I've been doing stuff for Estella. As usual, Yahoo is being a crotchety old bitch, so I can't do anything with the newly formed discussion forum. I wanted to make it pretty and get some test posts going, but it's not happening. *staring at the white screen of death*

Bitch, bitch, moan.

I watched Secretary Friday night (one and a half times), and would now really like James Spader to bend me over a desk. Who'd have thought? Incidentally, I also watched the first disc of the first season of Scrubs and would really like Zach Braff to bend me over a desk. Go figure.

Edit: Worming my way to 5 pages. And I just saw the House preview for season three. OH MY GOD. He's hot. Hot hot hot. Me, James Spader, Hugh Laurie, Zach Braff. That's a hell of a sandwich. I'm gonna try my best to have a dream about that tonight.

Listening: "Clear the Area"...Imogen Heap

Saturday, August 19, 2006

I hate the sound of my own voice, and if anyone wants to live in my head for a bit, I'm renting out space.

Exposition later.

Listening: "Ride"...Cary Brothers

Friday, August 18, 2006

Musical Spotlight: Hold Onto Your Mouse

As you all probably know from reading the little "Listening" feature at the butt-end of all my posts, I like music. I like a lot of different music. I like Beethoven and Johnny Cash and The Rolling Stones and Samuel Barber and Annie Lennox. I could list for days, but I won't put you through that. Lately I've discovered a whole nest of indie and obscure artists that I really enjoy, so I thought I'd do a bit of pimpin'.

In fact, one of the main reasons that I like MySpace is because most bands/artists I like have a page I can check out for tour dates, new developments in regard to albums, etc. As I pimp, you can click on the name of the band or artist to visit their MySpace page where they will have music uploaded for your listening pleasure.

This first one is for the Dallasites (or surrounding-area-ites). My friend Goose (Dan) is a member of a band that's blowing up in DFW right now:
Hardin Sweaty and the Ready to Go. These fuckers are crazy, and I mean that with love. Their album Elephant Gun is ready to be had, and I urge you to have it. In fact, if you're in the Dallas area and looking for a good time, join a group of us at Club Dada in Deep Ellum for Mixtapes and Baby Fights (August 22) featuring the ever-lovely Hardin Sweaty and other bands that I'm sure are lovely but that I'm not invested in. I'll even buy you a buttery nipple (or a beer) if you mention this blog (or I would in theory..if I had $$$).

Cary Brothers is another new favorite. Note: one guy--not brothers. His song, "Ride" is on super-fantastic-every-five-minutes-repeat on the Andi-puter. You can stream it at MySpace. Click, click! You won't be sorry. I can't believe I'm about to type this because it's stupid. But so true. Oh God. I'm gonna say it. "Ride" is like being in love. It conjures up this weird tingly feeling in my tummy that reminds me of driving with my windows down and lust. Mmm, mmm good. Incidentally, his new video for "Ride" premieres here today. Go give it a watch. Zach Braff directed it, and I haven't gotten to see it yet thanks to my crappy dial-up.

This could be the best one. I heard it less than 24 hours ago, and I guarantee you I've probably listened to THE song 23 times. Drum roll....."Mexico" by Jump Little Children.

I generally measure the atmosphere of my day by the rock star I'd most like to be. On angsty days it's generally Amy Lee, but on happy fun days it's Kat Auster of Majorette. As luck would have it, you can stream my two favorite songs on their page: "Girl Like Me" and "Disco in the Cold." I'll be SO glad when they get an album out. I'll shimmy to it endlessly.

While that only begins to touch the listening love that I have for a multitude of artists at the moment, that's all I'm givin' ya right now, but be sure that I'll be back with more soon!

Listening: "Mexico"

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


A big round of applause for Amanda A. She was the 40,000th visitor to Tripping Toward Lucidity!!! I'll send you a cookie!

Brain Dump

I broke my toe!

OK, not really. The dramatic part of me that freaks out when I'm injured in some way (like the time I thought cockroaches or spiders had multiplied by the thousands in my ear and it turned out to be swim ear) wants to scream "I broke it!"...but I probably just bruised the hell out of it. Thesis director has a beautiful contemporary bedroom set, but the downside is the sizeable silver legs that stick out and catch little piggies as they pass by on the way to the bathroom.

Watched both of my first Netflix movies last night (lemme know if you Netflix and I'll add you to my friends list and mooch your recommendations). The first one was Maybe Baby, starring Hugh Laurie, ('gasm), and the second was Long Way Round, the documentary of Ewan McGregor and Charlie Booran traveling 20,000 miles on motorcycles from London to New York. Both very interesting, and if you'd like more info click to check out the MySpace blog.

In other news, I've still not written a damn word on this journal article that's due on the 24th. Well, if you count the chicken scratch I have written in margins and on sticky notes. It's shaping up nicely (I think) in my head, though. That's gotta count for something. I am devoted to the idea of whipping out the laptop in a few minutes and beginning to write my diatribe on the adaptation of children's texts to film and their transformation from stories for children to a sort of cross-bred ambivalent text that caters to adults (think Shrek, the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). And the resulting ideological shift, of course. Waaa waaa waaa (Charlie Brown's teacher).

Got the key to my office today! I'll be sharing an office with Elise this coming school year. We got one that's tucked away nicely on the first floor. Mayyybe I'll be able to get some work done there. But I doubt it. In the end, it's just nice to not be homeless.

New project on the sidebar:
Gypsy Poet and I, along with another friend that doesn't do the Blogger thing (waves at Wenchie's livejournal) have started the Tom Hollander fanlisting. If you don't know Tom Hollander, shame on you! He was the asshat, Beckett, in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. He was also in the new Pride & Prejudice as Mr. Collins, and he played the MOST adorable part in a British flick called Bedrooms & Hallways (and he was in The Libertine, Possession, Gosford Park, etc. Anyhoo, we love him, and the page is up. Just click on the little button under the 'zine button on the sidebar. GP did the design, and it's gorrrgeous.

OK, I'm tearing myself away from the 'puter now. Eating my Sonic burger. Gonna work. Gotta work. Then gonna go work out.

Peace and messy love.

Listening: "Ride"....Cary Brothers (addicted to this song, people)...Last Kiss soundtrack again. Love it.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Books books books and Estella

Went to the bookstore yesterday to gather all the texts for the Fall class: Problems in Adolescent Literature. I always have good intentions of getting things online or from the used bookstore (because the campus bookstore is a just big slew of academic money rapists), but it never seems to work out that way. I, like so many others, am had by convenience and location, location, location.

Whatever. I still got a bunch of books.

The reading list for Fall:

The Book Thief (Zusak) - already owned
Disturbing the Universe (Trites) - already owned, already read
Feed (Anderson)
The Giver (Lowry) - already owned, already read
Monster (Myers)
Planet of Junior Brown (Hamilton)
Push (Sapphire)
Shadows of Ghaddames (Stolz)
Song of the Magdalene (Napoli) - already owned
Speak (Anderson)
Tangerine (Bloor)
Welcome to the Ark (Tolan)

For fun, because I didn't take the August mini over comics:

The complete Watchmen collection (Moore)
Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth (author slips my mind)
A Robert Crumb collection

In other bookish news:

Nicky had the fantabulous idea to start an Estella's Revenge book club. Lemme know if you're interested, think it's a good idea or whatnot! I'm EXCITED about the prospects!

Listening: "Chocolate"...Snow Patrol (The Last Kiss Soundtrack!)...go find it! It's good! It's on The Last Kiss MySpace page. Click HERE and go listen!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Sooo Monday...

After a grand total of 4 hours sleep, I hobbled out of bed, finished throwing my clothes and books and papers in bags, loaded Scooby up in the car to go to the vet, and I was off and runnin'.

Then I got rear-ended at a stoplight.

Happy Monday!

It was some crotchety old bitch with bouffant hair and pink sunglasses the size of grapefruits. Luckily for her there wasn't any new damage. Her car basically put an extra black smudge where my bumper was already effed up from last year's accident. Otherwise I would've taken her big Texas hair to the bank.

As of now, I'm holed up in Thesis Director's office. I've printed out a massive amount of research, and now I have to read it. I'll probably stay here for a few more hours, attempt to drag myself away from YouTube, MySpace, and ZachBraff.com in an effort to get some reading done, and hopefully I can start writing tomorrow.

Tonight I'm having dinner with my friend Amanda at Molina's. After that I might have to make my way to the pub to sharpen my pool skills.

Or maybe I'll just watch 30-Minute Meals since I'm recording it--as we speak--on Thesis Director's DVR. Woot! Doesn't take much to thrill me, folks.

Listening: "Chocolate"...
The Last Kiss soundtrack

Edit: 9:43 pm....There's something unavoidably odd about blogging from a professor's bed. Oh well, such is the life of a housesitter. Semi-productive day. I managed to find quite a bit of research stuff, worked out, had dinner with Amanda, and am now kicked back in bed watching all the episodes of 30-Min. Meals that I recorded. Life is good. Will be getting up early to read and write in the morning.

G'nite my lovelies!

Listening: "Kissing the Lipless"...The Shins

Estella's Revenge on MySpace

For those of you who are addicted to MySpace, Estella's Revenge (the 'zine) now has a page. Also feel free to add my personal MySpace to your list if you'd like, but the 'zine gets priority! Add! Spread the word! Go forth and multiply!


Listening: "Closer"...Joshua Radin

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Surprise, surprise.....

Today I overcame what I generally refer to as "baby shower anxiety." Normally when I'm expected to attend baby showers, a great tension spreads throughout my body, I feel a little sick, and I find it incredibly difficult to get ready more than 10 minutes before I'm expected to leave my house (procrastination turned up to eleven). I can't really explain the phenomenon as I also generally have a good time once I arrive, but it's the thought of attending that turns me into a convulsive mess.

Perhaps it has to do with my uncomfortable relationship with babies and babying.

As a product of rural Texas culture, one is expected to baby early. I know a number of people who married shortly out of high school and started having children. I, at 25, am the last of my friends to marry and one of two who don't have children. My mother had me 25 years ago--at the age of 25.*

Last Christmas I had lunch with my dad's side of the family (I see them once a year), and the news that I had a boyfriend spread like wildfire. Wildfire I tell you. The next question out of my grandmother's mouth (sweet lady, but oh GOD) was, "So, when are you planning to start a family?"

*deer in headlights*

Despite the fact that I grew up in a fabulous family, I have issues picturing myself with a family of my own at this point in life. First, I don't have a significant other. Second, even if I did I probably wouldn't want to start making family plans just yet. *Probably* being one of the other reasons I'm uncomfortable with the baby'ness.

A few years ago, when I was in committed relationship, I had a pregnancy scare. For those of you who hang around here on a regular basis, you may have noticed that Dr. Claw comes like clockwork (OK, you probably haven't noticed, because that would be creepy, but it does). I was almost 2 weeks late, and the anxiety and realization that I could be pregnant kicked in. HWSNBN made a point of pointing out that such might be the case, which really threw me into an anxiety fit. I told myself I was being silly--no way was I preggers--and waited. And waited. When I had begun to really mentally talk myself into a frenzy I bought a test and agonized over whether or not to really take it. I did. It was negative.

I was crushed.

I couldn't believe I was crushed to NOT be pregnant. At first I thought I was crazy, and then I just realized that I had begun to picture the scenario with someone I loved and planned to stay with--I wanted the scenario. I wanted him, he wanted me, and we planned to have a baby someday. I don't think I ever even told him I took the test.

I suppose the resultant baby shower anxiety since then stems from that moment of want and the realization that I'm back at square one. While it would've been an inopportune time for a child back then--I hadn't started my MA, I was unhappy in many ways--I found that place where you desire to make a life with someone, and it really surprised me.

My general response in marriage/baby conversations is, "I'm not sure." I don't know that I want to get married, I don't think I'd be terribly crushed if I didn't. I usually say that I don't know if I want kids--if I do at some point, and I'm still single, I have no qualms about adoption. But, I guess the reason that p-scare shook me so much is because I did want it. And somewhere under this desire for a PhD and an independent life, I still do--in theory. If and when it's right, with whomever surprises me.

Today's shower was good. I adore the friend we were showering, and I think she's one of the bravest, most amazing people I know. She'll be an amazing mom.

Incidentally, when I recently asked my mother if she thought I'd ever get married and have kids, her response was simply,

"After you're 30."

Right on, Mom.

*For those of you who married and kidded early, I'm not baggin'. It just wouldn't have worked out for me given that I had no idea what I wanted in my late teens and earlier 20's. Not to mention, the cultural atmosphere here puts undue pressure on young'uns to grow up and procreate.

Listening: "Crazy"...Gnarls Barkley

Friday, August 11, 2006

It's a dry heat....

Those of you who have any experience with Texas know that it's hot. Even those of you who have never been to Texas know that it's hot. When I say hot, I mean scorching. A bit like I would imagine hell to be.

Imagine my surprise and joy to find in the archives of Zach Braff's blog a little bit about Dallas....

When I was 17 years old I went on a 5 week trip to Israel. One of the places we visited was Eilat. In order to get to Eilat, you drive through desert so hot that you're warned not to leave the bus. I have not felt that feeling again until today in Dallas. It's 900 degrees in Dallas today... I passed a camel dry-heaving near the grassy knoll... but its a dry heat.

Right on, Zach. Come back soon.

In other news, I joined Netflix today. I may be the last person on earth to join Netflix. Here's a short list of other things I was the last person on earth to do....

1. Get an MP3 player (pending).
2. Get tivo (pending).
3. See Garden State.
4. Try sushi.
5. Have sex (I waited a longgg time).

The Netflix should provide hours of thesis avoidance (there are 105 movies in my queue after a mere 45 minutes of browsing). Procrastination should be an Olympic sport. Perhaps everyone could sit around in a circle looking aloof. The first person to move loses. I will be the captainess of the first United States procrastination team.

Saw Barnyard today. Fucking hilarious. Kiddie movies are delightful when there's an animated farmer's wife who is "medicated for a chemical imbalance."

One more Zach bit because the guy is a nut.

Also, many of you have commented that I seem like a normal, down to Earth guy. This is true. But it got me thinking of ways that I could become more of a Hollywood dickhead: Starting tomorrow, I will only drink milk from Doves. If it turns out to be true (as some have said) that Doves do not indeed produce milk, then I will move onto Eagle Milk. But not before we get to the bottom of this whole Doves pretending they don't produce milk thing.

Incidentally, I have a story about "dove butter." My friend Lesa and I discovered it while playing Scrabble in our sophomore English class. So, apparently doves do in fact make milk. Otherwise there would be no conceivable way to produce dove butter.

Shamelessly listening to Justin Timberlake's "Sexyback." *wiggle*


The break officially begins. While I feel the slightest iota of guilt that the graphic narrative class didn't make, it goes away surprisingly quickly. I'm too burned out (charred more like) and bitter to do another mini this summer. And I refuse to max out my credit card.

The only thing standing in the way of a true break: must write a journal length essay before the 24th. I'm shooting for 15 pages. I shall do most of it from Monday to Wednesday of this coming week.

Other to-do's over the break:

Get hair redded again.
Finish reading The Human Stain, The Amber Spyglass, and The Book of Illusions.
Have at least one girls' day with Elise.
Not drink.
Work out like a bastard (am wearing a size smaller jean lately).
Watch movies like a bastard (Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Secretary, The Cooler, and others).
Catch up on blog reading and write something other than complete crap.
Listen to good music ("Ride" by Cary Brothers as we speak).
Catch up with Rachel (started yesterday with a long visit).
Get Gabe a tape so he can record Hugh Laurie's Inside the Actors Studio for me.
Talk to Jeff because he makes me smile.

Listening: "Soul Meets Body"....Death Cab for Cutie
Watching: Travel Channel

Thursday, August 10, 2006


Much better mood. Summer session is over. Going to celebrate tonight. Be back when I recover.

Listening: "Let Go"...Frou Frou

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

So something is wrong...

Several people have asked me if I'm ok lately. The most distressing was when Thesis Director said, "Oh yeah, I brought you this book because you haven't smiled in a few days."


I don't know what's wrong with me. Probably a moderate case of burnout, the onset of a case of distressing melancholia, and the fact that I'm sick of my own voice (both written and spoken). It's nothing that won't pass soonish (I hope), but it's still an asswhip in the meantime.

I'm housesitting for Thesis Director for three days next week and I plan to talk to no one. No one. I plan to lounge in the air conditioning, read, and write. She's handing over the keys to her office so I can work like an honorary prof in her absence. That excites me a little. Free reign to rape and pillage her library for a few days is a wonderful thought.

Everyone is traveling over this two week break, which bums me out a little. I had originally planned a trip to NC over the break, but a(nother) falling out with he-who-shall-not-be-named (HWSNBN) a few months ago squelched those plans for fun on the beach. I thought about striking out to Taos for a few days of photography, reading and swimming, but I think saving the $$$ would be a better idea. Must register for the Savannah conference, and they don't accept promises to pay later (bastards).

Wish me luck getting over this. I'm putting my faith in endorphins--cheaper than drugs and readily available at any hour of the day or night.

Listening: "Ride"...Cary Brothers
Reading: Shrek so I can write a response paper over it (yes, it started as a picture book).
In my head: Little green men. And Zach Braff...my new celebrity crush (Hugh has competition).

"Memory"....Issue #5

Click the pic to read the fifth issue of Estella's Revenge: "Memory"

Listening: "Fair"...Remy Zero

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Another "fuck" post.

Fuck stupid people and the horses they ride in on.
Fuck the inconsiderate and unruly.
Fuck websites and their completely moronic designers.
Fuck Filezilla for helping make my life miserable today.
Fuck Texas heat.
Fuck nosy people.
Fuck burnout.
Fuck depression.
Fuck misanthropy.
Fuck insomnia.

Fuck fuck FUCK.

The only thing keeping me from taking to the top of the clock tower with a sniper rifle? The Garden State soundtrack.

Note: If you think this post is about you, it's not. It's not pointed at anyone in "real life" or the blogosphere save one putzy professor.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Dr. Claw, I love you...

I went to Google with the intention of finding the most vile, disgusting picture to announce the arrival of the monthly bane of my existence, but oddly enough, it didn't work out that way. I typed "on the rag" into the google image search and one of the first results was this:

While he looks rather unpleasant and possibly raggy, those of you well-versed in film (or who have seen Charlie's Angels or Back to the Future) will recognize Crispin Glover. Also known as the Creepy Thin Man or Mr. McFly--among other crazy characters.

While he has nothing to do with my period or my cramps or the illustrious Dr. Claw, I think he's oddly attractive and shall leave him here to grace this otherwise not-as-creepy-as-it-could've-been post.

Watching: Garden State

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

One book....

Tagged by BookGirl...

1. One book that changed your life.
Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens. I can honestly say this one ushered me into my hard-on for classics. Without it, and the teacher that taught it, I probably wouldn't be working on my MA or planning a PhD, and Estella's Revenge certainly never would've been born. Amazing how the books we read when we're young can shape our lives.

2. One book that you've read more than once.
Their Eyes Were Watching God (and an undetermined amount of others including Gatsby, and fairy tale retellings).

3. One book you'd want on a desert island.

The Lord of the Rings--long, plenty to think about, and I just lurv it.

4. One book that made you laugh.

The Sex Lives of Cannibals, by J. Maarten Troost. Because there's nothing quite as funny as real mishaps on a deserted island in the south pacific. Can't wait to read his newest book, Getting Stoned with Savages.

5. One book that made you cry.
The Kite Runner. It was a book I probably would never have picked up if it weren't for online book groups and my library discussion group. I bawled reading that book, and I would read it again in a heartbeat.

6. One book that you wish had been written.
A sequel to What I Loved, by Siri Hustvedt. I just want more, although more is probably not in the cards and probably wouldn't satisfy me even if it did exist.

7. One book that you wish had never been written.
That damn sequel to Gone with the Wind.

8. One book you're currently reading.

The Human Stain, by Philip Roth.

9. One book you've been meaning to read.

I probably have 300 books I haven't read yet. High on the list is The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman. His Dark Materials is an amazing series that I'd recommend to EVERYONE.

10. Now tag five people.
Charles, Elise, Jeremy, Heather F., and Amanda

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


I've posted three times and I've taken the posts right back down again. Nothing interesting to say. Lots on my mind (school, work, existential musings) but nothing I seem to be able to articulate. Conflicted is the new well-adjusted.

I picked The Human Stain back up, and it's amazing. I have a book idea floating roughly around in my head...bumping up against the sides of my skull, making itself known, but I have too many others things to do. It's been stewing roughly since March, so I guess I should let the poor thing out. Still too busy, though.

I just wanna go to sleep.

Listening: "The Prayer"...Andrea Bocelli and Celine Dion
Images by Freepik