I suck at resolutions. Tonight when my mom asked if I was making any, I said no. However, the truth of the matter is that I've had a big resolution cooking for a while now and it could perhaps be one of the most personal--and personally fulfilling--I've ever made. Normally I resolve the usual: lose weight, buy fewer books, be more financially responsible and bulk up my savings. While those are all worthy resolutions in their own right I feel a change coming over me that surpasses these other things and makes me feel incredibly hopeful and excited to begin a new year.
I'm passionate about things--namely, education (continuing my own and being a good teacher to enhance others' educations). However, I'm also passionate about quite a number of other things like HIV/AIDS education, environmental issues, and political issues stirring as we speak (the "war", infringement upon civil rights...can we say Patriot Act?). I don't talk about a number of these things here for several reasons.
1. This blog has undergone a big transformation since it began. It started as a way for me to cope with really tough life stuff like my failed relationship and my grappling with my self-image and depression. It was angry and humorous. Sardonic and snarky.
2. I started grad school and things calmed down a bit. I used this as a place to vent frustrations and celebrate my work and my new life. Now I find that I'm really happy for the most part. I still grapple with depression, but it's easier to cope with a solid system of friends and family around to cushion the falls. I have work to envelope and distract me. I'm making progress.
3. Then there's the inevitable fact that people would probably rather be entertained than listen to me rant.
Nevertheless, I feel a new phase coming on, and it will certainly reflect on the blog since this is generally my sounding board, my journal, a place to give my thoughts some air. For a while now I've felt a growing disquiet in myself in response to the issues I listed above, both political and social. I find myself quite upset, angry, and generally disheartened at the way the world is going. For a long time now I've bitched about the sorry state of things I see around me. I'm generally not a person to take things quietly that I disagree with, so I've begun to wonder why I don't do anything about it. I also prescribe to the "don't complain if you aren't willing to take action" school of thought. So I suppose it's time to turn the pointing finger around at myself, get off my ass, and actually try to be part of some positive change around me.
With these ramblings in mind, it looks like I'm going to seek out some opportunities to get involved with some Democratic party organizations in the area and perhaps engage in some grass-roots campaigning when the time comes. Aside from party politics I'm equally concerned with the sense of apathy that seems to be so pervasive in my area when it comes to voting in general. The "my vote doesn't make a difference" attitude that once it takes hold certainly negates any positive influence that voters might bring about.
Don't worry, dear readers, this won't become a political blog, but I will be a little more vocal about things I care about. Really care about. Because when it comes right down to it, I can't, in good conscience, ignore the things that I find significant and worthy of discussion. Perhaps I'm naively passionate, but I prefer to think that if people collectively addressed and participated in those causes that they find significant, positive changes would follow.
This is an exciting time to be alive. There are a lot of changes going on, a lot of disquiet, and it's time--for me--to be more than an observer.
iPod says: "Anthem of Our Dying Day"...Story of the Year
P.S. Aside from all this very serious talk of self-improvement, I think I pulled every last muscle in my neck when I was flailing on the dance floor the other night. I've been in outrageous pain all day. I'm going to get horizontal.