Monday, June 11, 2007

Mice, money and sweet sweet sleep.

Today is the first day I've slept in in weeks. I've been in NC for almost a month now (hard to believe), and I've gotten in the habit of waking up around 5:30 or 6:00 every morning. Those of you who have been reading for more than five minutes know that I'm NOT a morning person. However, my earliness in rising is generally attributable to going to the hospital to visit (long story, go ruffle through the archives for a cryptic half-explanation or just let it be) or because B. is leaving that morning and I always wake up when he's getting ready. Or cramps. Cramps woke me up early last week.

It was nice sleeping in today, but kinda disconcerting as well, since I usually have MUCH more done by this time of the day (some writing, 35 mins of cardio, breakfast), and I feel sort of like a lazy ass at the moment. There's a slew of hairy, sweaty men building a storage building in the back yard, I'm staring at the messy house, and I'm hungry but it's too early for lunch, too late for breakfast. But, the best news o'the day is that I'm wearing--quite comfortably--a pair of jeans one size smaller than usual, and they're practically falling off me. All the lean meat and green veggies are paying off.

My first freelance deadline passed without incident, and I should be receiving a fat paycheck sooner than later (thank you, Shesus!). So, now it's time to start on the next gaggle of articles and ready myself for an even fatter paycheck next month! This working for a living thing is genius. If only I knew who came up with it.

There's a mouse in our kitchen. A loud mouse, at that. I was cleaning up the kitchen, readying myself for bed last week and I saw the little bugger scamper across the STOVE and leap behind the toaster oven. What kind of ballsy fuckin' mouse scampers across the stove? Really. So, today it's glue traps and startled squeels from me because if the little bastard gets stuck while I'm home and B. isn't, it's gonna be ugly.

We had a mouse a couple of years ago that was caught in quite the fortuitous manner. I'd left a bag of guacamole-flavored Doritos out on the table and I heard the bag moving on its own. B. was on the phone with tech support (where he'd been for hours) in the other room and I was forced to barricade the mouse in the chip bag with a prayer and something heavy. When B. got off the phone he dumped the chip bag and all out in the field across the street and that was that. Why can't catching a mouse always be that easy and humane? The mouse had a nice meal, he wasn't injured, and I was only deprived of a few thousand calories.

Incidentally, I haven't eaten guacamole Doritos since then.


  1. the pants falling off may have something to do with the cardio you've been doing a heck of a lot of lately! Congrats girl and I hope you get the check soon!

    I hate the damn house mouse. I get them often and they are smart little fuckers! I know they eat very well in our basement/behind the stove/etc!

  2. Congrats on walking around with your pants at your ankles! And congrats on the writing--who'da thunk that people would pay you for your words??

    NC seems to be working well for you!

  3. Ugh-- I had mice in an apartment while I was student-teaching. It was hell getting rid of them.

    Some years back, right after the ex and I finished our knock-down, drag-out, expensive custody fight, she got mice in the apartment she was living in. It was really funny, how she was all of a sudden really friendly with me, when she needed me to come over and take mice stuck in glue traps out of the house.

  4. I would freeze out of my manner if I spot one of those. Rumors have it that there are literally thousands of them in any block of a city's business district. While the best way is to poison them, but imagine picking up their bloated bodies, with blood trickling from their mouths.....

    Congrats on the writing. :)

  5. LOL, could be, Funky. All this cardio had better pay off because I hate it with a bloody passion! I put out peanut butter scented glue traps today, so I should be sufficiently grossed out by morning.

    Os, I know, whoda thunk, indeedy. NC is great! I feel right at home.

    LOL, Johnny, I can see how that might happen. Amazing the things mice will do to the ladies.

    Uggg, Matt! LOL That even more horrible than the picture I originally had in my head!


  6. Congrats on the improved health! Way to go!

    Glad the work is going well.

    Your story reminded me of the mouse story in Neil Gaiman's book Smoke and Mirrors. Not sure if that was the one hidden in the introduction or not. Have you read it?

  7. Mice scare the living HELL out of me, and have since childhood. The first house I can remember living in was infested with them, and I'd hear them scampering around at night. I was petrified, and my parents were of the "tough love" variety and didn't "indulge" my fears by anything silly like comforting me or anything. I hate the beasties to this day.

  8. Carl, I haven't read Smoke & Mirrors but a friend once tempted me with a very twisted story about Santa. MUST read it! In fact, I think I'll add it to my Bookmooch list as we speak.

    Oooh, Blue, that makes me cringe. Cringe I tell you! *shiver*

  9. Congrats on the weight loss! I'm at an all-time high weight. Time to get moving.

    Mice are little devils. We had one in our house, one time, and while I ran to get a mouse trap the kiddo bonked him with a shoe. Poor thing was on his back, pedaling air, when I returned home. He didn't make it. The Doritos method sounds much nicer.

  10. How exciting for you! All kinds of big changes all at one time.

    We used to get mouses in my parents house. Getting rid of them was strictly my father's job. lol

  11. Bookfool, my grandmother did something similar when I was little. She didn't want me to freak about the mouse, so she threw a very heavy piece of pottery at one. Got him with one shot. Very talented woman she was. lol

    LOL, Nik. It would be B.'s job if he were home. He keeps telling me it's all in my head. Tell that to the bread bag that was chewed through yesterday. Ick!

  12. Congrats on going down in pants' size! Isn't it a great feeling?

    Mice . . .Ick. My dog and cat would probably make friends with the mouse if he came to stay in my house much to my chagrin.


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