Thursday, December 01, 2011

That Blasted "Breaking Dawn" Movie

These movies are like crack, y'all. Soul suckingly bad, but such an addiction. I assume if you're reading this you know some of what happens in the series/films. This is a totally spoilery post. Beware.

It started this past weekend. It was a freebie weekend on some of the movie channels through DirecTV and I thought it might be a good idea to re-watch New Moon and Eclipse in preparation for Breaking Dawn, Part I.

I'm really surprised every time I watch at just how crappy an actress Kristen Stewart is (and pretty much everyone else, too). And I'm consistently disappointed at how little FUN there is in these movies. There's usually one or two scenes that are a lot of fun or really exciting. The baseball game in the first film. Some cool training shots in Eclipse or werewolf kickassery here and there.

But mostly, it's a lot of swoony eyes and awkward pauses. Way. Too. Emo.

While I admit and acknowledge the problems in the books, too, (Bella, codependent much?) there's a much more interesting sass and fun interplay between Bella and Edward that I miss soooo much in the films. I just want to tell them to lighten UP already. Kristen Stewart, you always look like you're going to throw up. Even when it's not written into the book/script.

But anyway, the Breaking Dawn movie is probably one of the more interesting films. It makes me laugh that Bella spends at least half the movie just tryin' to get some married action. As most of us already know, she succeeds, and that's when all hell breaks loose. There was a leeeetle more fun between Edward and Bella in this movie, thank God. That's probably why it stands out as less of a downer than some of the others.

I had a distinctly nervous, jittery, anxious feeling about this movie. I was really curious how they would handle the "unsavory delivery." Not too bad, but there was a moment when I thought, "Wow, she really looks dead. Like really dead. Disturbingly realistically dead." It bothered me. Made my stomach hurt.

So in the wake of having seen this movie, I realized I do not remember a whole lot of what's coming in Breaking Dawn, Part II and I don't particularly remember what Bella was like on the other side of the change, so I downloaded the e-book last night. I need to finish The Sisters Brothers this week, but I'll probably read Breaking Dawn when my brain energy is sucked away tonight between 6 and 8pm (when I'll still be at work).

I know there are whole factions of you out there who hate the whole Twilight Saga (books and movies), and I respect that. You can vent here. Go ahead! BUT, if you're planning to see it, have you? Do these movies live up to your expectations or do you want to redirect them like I do?

18 comments:

  1. I haven't read the books and don't plan to see the movies, but have no problem with people who love them.

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  2. I feel pretty similarly to you about them... The books are kind of my guilty pleasures, and i've seen all the films and plan to see this at some point, but I really despise Kristen Stewart. Why can't she act??

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  3. Thanks, Kathy! I most definitely enjoyed the books more than the movies, but the movies have become a guilty pleasure. I love to roll my eyes at the acting. lol

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  4. Bex, I DON'T KNOW!!!! I wish she could act. I really do. I blame some of it (a lot of it?) on the directing. The director show KNOW there should be some friggin' fun in these. Seriously.

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  5. SHOULD know. I can't type.

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  6. I'll admit, I'm a sap for these love stories. Those swoony eyes, my guilty pleasure. However I do agree with you that the acting is horrible. I think they could have chosen some better actors, but then on the other hand would they have been any better given the script? I have read all the books but only seen Twilight and New Moon. I stopped going to the theaters to see them, I'll get them all eventually to watch at home...where no one can see just how much I love those sappy swoony eyes ;)

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  7. Crystal Alley12/01/2011 10:10 AM

    they're so bad so bad so bad so bad but so good...sigh...and no one in them can act. and the werewolf telepathy thing is hilarious. but you just can't help yourself. and stephanie meyer CAN'T WRITE. not at all. but still....its just so good.....and so bad....and so good....

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  8. I love this post. It made me chuckle. :)

    I saw Twilight and New Moon in the theater. I never got around to seeing Eclipse, but when Target had them on sale for $3 last week, I picked up New Moon and Eclipse (I already had Twilight). I'm saving them for a day I need a chuckle.

    I do want to see Breaking Dawn...but it was my least favorite book. If I remember, the only reason I finished it was because I wanted to see how ridiculous it would continue to get. I am curious about the birth scene!

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  9. Oh goodness, I saw BD with my sister last weekend. The delivery scene was horrible in the books but wow was I freaked out in the movie theatre... the full body shot at the end completely skeeved me out! SO. MUCH. BLOOD.

    My sister read the first three books but never finished the series (not sure why?), so she had no clue what was going to happen. That made it sort of fun -- she would tense when I tensed, figuring I knew what was going to happen! Like you, though, I kind of forget what happens in the latter part of the book... beyond Renesmee (dumb name which I probably misspelled?) and all that. Hmm.

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  10. OH MY GOD THIS MOVIE. When I was home for Thanksgiving some friends and I had some martinis and went to see Breaking Dawn, and we thought, oh, it'll be funny because we'll be tipsy but OH MY GOD NO. There is no drunk enough to make this movie not disturbing. Oh God. So creepy. The creepiest was when they were dressing her emaciated corpse in a lovely blue dress. Ewwww.

    (In case you haven't seen it: http://m15m.livejournal.com/22931.html)

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  11. I'm sure the teenaged girls behind us wanted to throttle us, but my friends and I laughed throughout the whole thing. That is just how bad it is. I hate the books and hate the movies, but like a train wreck, I just have to finish them out. I'm still shocked at how romantic people can find Edward Cullen, who is nothing but a sparkley, controlling, stalker.

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  12. The only way to watch and survive these movies is with your snark-meter turned all the way up. So.bad.
    Which means, of course, I've seen them all in theatre and plan to see this one. It got bumped down the priority list thanks to The Muppets. (yay Muppets!)

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  13. These books/movies are not my thing, but to each his own I say :)
    I did catch a blurb on the news about the movie affecting people in a bad way medically, but didn't hear the rest of the story to know what was going on.

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  14. I re-read the series but I wasn't going to watch the movie. I haven't even seen eclipse yet.... But I've read a few reviews of the film that suggest I should give the film a try at least... I'll wait for it to come out on video. :)

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  15. You are so right, Andi. There were some great parts like when the vamps were playing baseball or learning about the werewolf/shapeshifter myth but that's about it. The books and the movie both are pure candy. I'm going to see the movie in the theaters but wait until it comes out on DVD.

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  16. I have a love / hate relationship with the books AND movies! I taught 8th grade Language Arts for six years, and I currently teach 7th grade Social Studies (TX History, to be exact), so I read quite a bit of YA lit. After reading book summaries and seeing countless projects based on Twilight, I decided I should read it (even though I felt like I had a handle on the whole saga). I got Twilight as an audiobook for long summer road trips about the time of Breaking Dawn's release. I am glad I went that route, because I don't know if I would have been able to READ-read it with my then-toddler running around. As it was, I got completely sucked in and would sit in the driveway to hear the end of the chapters.... I have since tried to read it, but I get distracted by Meyers's style (not sure if that is what it is, it may just be poor writing). I have read them all though, and I love the story! Except for Breaking Dawn....

    I saw Breaking Dawn yesterday and I actually laughed out loud at several parts that were not intended to be funny (like the showdown between Sam and Jacob, in wolf-form). I was bored through much of it. I felt like they were really working to stretch it out. That being said, from what I remember of the rest of BD, the second half could be pretty good!

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  17. LOL they are SO TERRIBLE aren't they? Painfully, hilariously so. I haven't seen this one yet and am looking forward to it, I must admit. Glad to hear you enjoyed it more. You are so right about the lack of fun and sass though. Like, the movies were over-the-top-ridiculous-emo. Sad.

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  18. I love the books! Not because of the storyline but I just adore Meyer's writing style. Have you read "The Host"? MUCH better then the Twilight series (IMHO). I would probably read Meyer's grocery list if she published it. (haha). The movies SUCKED! I almost walked out of Breaking Dawn, I almost couldn't take the fact that there was nothing happening in this movie! UGH!! Where's Bella's new car? Where's the wolves walking around the house? Where's the gourmet meals that Esme makes for the wolves? Seriously, in the movie she walks out with a sandwich in a paper towel? REALLY?! UGH! Anyway..loved the books, adored the books. The movies sucked! Will I go to Part II? Umm..yes!! hahaha Im sure I'll be at the midnight showing too.

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