Sunday, February 22, 2015

Getting Real: We're Not WonderWomen

I'm not WonderWoman, and neither are you.



I've posted a lot about pressure over the years, blogging pressure, mostly. Lord knows, I've felt it. Pressure to review books, review the newest books, keep up a schedule, be consistent, be more creative, do more things. But there's also a societal pressure, especially among all the Pinterest and Instagram posts, to cook more, decorate the house, make sure it's perfect and look good while we do it. Admittedly, most of these pressures are self-inflicted, and when you're a busy bee like me, the pressure can be fairly intense. I look across social media and see perfection everywhere and I think, "How the hell do I get there? That's obviously what I should be striving for."

Bullshit. Plain and simple. The internet allows us to show the world the best parts of our lives, editing out the really ugly stuff, and it's a skewed view. Many have written about this more eloquently than I ever could. Trish from Love, Laughter, and a Touch of Insanity did a great job when she posted about her life NOT being perfect. Amanda from Fig and Thistle brought it all back home with On Being Okay (or Not).

I'll tell you a little something about myself. I've struggled with depression all my life. There were periods when I was on antidepressants because I had to be, and there were periods when I wasn't on them that I didn't want to get out of bed. Or that period in grad school when drinking six days a week was a super fun way to blow off steam.

In the years when I was a struggling adjunct instructor, I didn't have insurance and antidepressants were no longer an option, and I had to find other ways to cope. Namely, staying busy, engaging my mind as fully as possible helped me avoid those deep dark funks. I realize this wouldn't work for a lot of people, and I'm certainly not telling you to go off your meds if you're in this camp, but when I didn't have the option for medication, I had to figure something out. This blog, among other things, helped me stay busy. It still does.

I get a lot of comments somewhere in the neighborhood of "I just don't know you do it all!" or "You're an inspiration because you're WonderWoman!"

Those things make me smile. Yes, oh yes, they do. But they're not the whole picture.

  • I have a 40-hour per week job that makes me miss teaching
  • I have two part time online teaching jobs that I refuse to let go because they improve our money situation so dramatically
  • I have a short temper
  • I struggle with my weight
  • I don't exercise nearly enough
  • I spend money on frivolous things WAY too often
  • Student loan debt is a bitch
  • I'm not affectionate enough to my awesome husband
  • I don't sleep well, and that compounds EVERY other problem
  • I stay busy to stay happy because if I don't, I'm not

There's been a lot of discussion lately about plagiarism in the blogosphere. Plagiarism that erupts from being overwhelmed, desperate. I can tell you from 11 years of teaching...that's a very common cause. Let's just stop all the WonderWoman talk right now. None of us are WonderWoman. Most of us are overwhelmed at some point in the day or when we can't sleep in the middle of the night, and we have to be kinder to ourselves and come to terms with fluid priorities. With letting some things go. 

I cut out publisher reviews a long time ago because they stole my joy. They were more pressure. My house is half decorated because 1) I lost interest 2) I was tired of spending money on a Pinterest life. Sometimes I think I stay at my job because it's low pressure, there's no traffic, and the benefits are amazing. Not exactly inspiring, but it's true. I live on a mental treadmill to keep myself from being a complete and utter bitch to everyone around me. 

Fluid priorities. Some things have to give. 

Let's get real, and let's get comfortable with giving ourselves a break so we can maintain our integrity and our sanity. 

70 comments:

  1. Personally I like to see the imperfections, to know that I'm not alone, that none of us are alone in being imperfect, in our reading, reviews (or lack thereof) or life in general. It's why I like your blog and Trish's...and others like yours. You all are real. It doesn't mean I don't admire you all (I do, especially you and Trish, if you didn't get that :) ), but none of us are perfect. I mean, yeah, we're close to perfect ;) but not perfect and by "we," I mean, you, I and Trish, of course. Again ;)

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    1. I agree with you, Bryan. I prefer to see the imperfections and try not to pretend online that my life is perfect. I want to know the people I interact with are real and that we are in this thing together!

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    2. Me too! That's why I've never limited myself to books-only posts. I want people to see it all, and it's nice to look back years later on a journal of sorts.

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  2. Wow. It's Truth in Blogging week. Kudos to you and Bryan for honoring your feelings and your flaws. I love reading you both no matter how dour. I have to get off the mental treadmill and onto the physical one regularly and being stuck inside this week has not helped. Swimming and yoga are my antidepressants. It's less about doing exercise than getting out of my head and into my body. I submit the mind to the body, the head to the heart as my yoga teacher used to instruct me to do.

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    1. It has shaped up that way! I think maybe I should start yoga! I have terrible ankles, so swimming and biking tend to be my favorites.

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  3. Before reading this post, I wrote one of my own (as yet unpublished) about the pressure I put myself under when I realise I havent read certain books within a certain timeframe...Thanks for giving me an additional thought on this!

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    1. I hope it gave you something to think over! Less pressure. More joy! :)

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  4. "I just don't know how you do it all" .... I craved that kind of praise from my mother. I had heard her "compliment" my aunt in this way my entire life... and she would say it with such awe and reverence. I wanted to be revered too.

    It wasn't until I reached fifty that I realized I was striving for the unachievable. I am now trying to accept who I am without comparing myself to the internet's image of perfect. Old habits die hard, though...

    I think I should print off the WonderWoman image and hang it in prominent places throughout the house :) Thank you for such an eloquent summation of what many of us of dealing with. We think we are the only ones who can't do it all, and it is comforting to know we are not alone.

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    1. I can imagine you did re: your mother. It's especially hard to NOT compare ourselves when the pressure and expectations start at home and in our youth. I'm glad you've come to terms with letting some of the unachievable go, no matter how hard it is. Definitely bedeck your house with Wonder Woman! :) We are definitely not alone.

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  5. PREACH!!! I have been very vocal about my own imperfections because I struggle with envy (and depression...I do take a daily pill) and it's so easy to see only the perfect pictures on social media. I have a friend who is picture perfect but when I get together with her all of the struggles come out. Maybe not showing those struggles is a coping mechanism? I don't know. I mean, I don't want the internet to become a cesspool of negativity and complaining, but can't we all be real enough to help prop each other up when we need it?

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    1. Me too re: envy. I try to rise above it, but those thoughts worm their way in sometimes. I see more and more of the perfect people letting more of the real hang out, and it's refreshing. And necessary. I don't want it to become a cesspool of negativity either, but I do hope people will ask for help more and generally evaluate their practices in a way that allows for fluidity.

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  6. I don't know exactly when or how it happens, but it seems there's a point when admiration turns to competition (in all of these areas: blogging, parenting, careers)...and social media has cranked that to the max. Just like many of us are prone to depression, I think many have a hard time turning off the desire to "win"...but you can't win against an opponent who doesn't really exist.

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    1. YES MA'AM! It sucks! lol And yes, I agree. Many of us are highly motivated and, truthfully, overachievers. It can be a dangerous mix.

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  7. Yes. Agree, agree, agree. Love your honesty. The only place I'm a superwoman is in my library and it's a fairy tale world, frankly.

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    1. Hahah! I hear ya. I'm fairly super at work, but that's about it.

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  8. Everyone needs to read this post! There is so much self-inflicted pressure to want to do more, more, more than possible. It's also a problem faced mostly by one gender in particular. When do people realize that it's more important to live well than to live swamped? Is it that bad to have a free moment when you aren't doing anything at all but sitting in your favorite couch? Is it too bad to have entire blocks of time when you aren't doing anything "productive"?

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    1. I think we all come to these conclusions sometime, but it may be after a bunch of heartache and overwhelmedness. Boo!

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  9. Kudos for this great post. It is something every person in the world struggles with and having access to the whole world due to the internet only makes it worse. It is great when you come across posts like this that puts stuff like life into perspective. Thanks!!

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    1. Thank you, Ciska! I think you put it wonderfully with, " every person in the world struggles with and having access to the whole world due to the internet only makes it worse." Boy, it sure does! :)

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  10. Kudos for voicing out what's on every blogger's mind -- whether one admits it or not.

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    1. Thank you for saying so! I think you're right. It crosses everyone's mind at some point.

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  11. Excellent article! When I was in kindergarten (back in the mid 70s), I wanted to be Wonder Woman. I practiced spinning around the house, so my parents tell me. Then there was the one morning I tried to turn into Wonder Woman and put my hands through the sliding glass door. I still have the scars on my right hand to this day. You would have thought I wouldn't have learned that lesson a long time ago. LOL!

    My blog started as a way to manage the overwhelming anxiety I was experiencing after my youngest daughter's birth. It was something about me and for me that had nothing to do with anyone or anything else in my life. Having this outlet has meant a lot to me over the years. Looking back I see how I wish I hadn't relied on it so much for my happiness. Even then, the blog has become more a source of stress and anxiety over the years for the reasons you've mentioned and so have others leaving comments here. I'm glad I finally followed your example and have stopped accepting books from publishers.It's made me much happier and I'm free to focus more on audiobooks, which is my main passion.

    Thanks for writing this post. If you ever made a coordinating blog badge, I'd love to display it. I'm proud to declare with you that I am not Wonder Woman - and I have the scars to prove it.

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    1. When the blog that used to provide so much enjoyment becomes a slog, it's definitely time for a change. It sounds like dropping the publisher obligations was a good change for you. And me, too! I'll keep ya posted about that blog badge!

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  12. Yup. Agreed. Cosigned. Cheered. It's so tempting to be hustling all of the time, trying to do more or get to the next big thing, but it's not always attainable or worth it. One of the things I'm working on, now and always, is accepting me for who I am and me for the things I do and do not like to do. I may want a Pinterest perfect life... but I don't like decorating or cleaning or cooking enough to ever make that happen. And that's ok :)

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    1. Yep, and WORTH IT is the big one for me. It's not worth breaking one's neck to chase some sort of unattainable perfection or goal. That's a great way to burn out and be miserable. Blah! And I love your point about wanting the pinterest perfect life but not liking decorating, etc. That's so me! lol

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  13. Love this post, Andi! I think we could all benefit by stepping back and figuring out what we do for joy and what we do because we feel pressure from outside sources. It's a great reminder to evaluate how we can reasonably accomplish and to be okay with the things we can't do.

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    1. Thanks, Leah! It's hard to discern what we do for joy and what we do because we feel like we need to sometimes, but that's why we have a venue to reflect! Or I like to use mine that way, anyway...obviously. hehe

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  14. I love this post! I think it's important to keep all of those imperfections you mentioned in mind, because we all have them, they're just easy to miss through blogs/twitter/instagram, whatever. We just have to keep in mind that all of those things are run by real people and sometimes "real life" gets in the way - and that's okay!

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  15. YES!! Cheering from my corner. I've felt that pressure, and written about it several times, it's always felt good to share what I'm feeling and I've had overwhelming support from other bloggers. I too deal with depression and I take my meds daily, they do make a difference, ask my family. I've slowly given up my desire for Superwoman over the years, i parenting, housekeeping, decor,etc. I don't always take care of myself, I struggle with my weight and I eat for every good and bad reason. Reading is good because I don't usually eat and read...LOL. I began a blog to express my feelings of being caught in the middle of parenting and having aging parents, so challenging. I began to share books, and now you see what it's become. I think we do need to support each other so no one ever feels tempted to do the wrong thing while trying to read and review books. These are hobbies, meant to make us happy.
    Great job Andi xoxo

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  16. This message needs to be repeated to ourselves and each other OFTEN. I remind my young adult girls (women!) regularly about this when they feel like they can't do it all - I reinforce that they are normal and that no one can do it all and they are doing JUST FINE. Good post, Andi!

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  17. I have always tried to be very honest about the struggles I face in my life. Sometimes this has made my family rather uncomfortable. And there are definitely things I wish I did better, especially superficial things, but I am more interested in being comfortable and happy in my own skin than in what façade I present to the world and how they judge me for it. We all excel at some things and flounder at others and I think it's important to let people know about our less than perfect lives and our failures so that their (and our) own don't feel so overwhelming and they (and we) don't feel alone.

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  18. So agreed Andi, great post - we as human are imperfect and incomplete beings, we should all strive to do what we can within our limits, while never EVER neglecting our mental health in the process.

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  19. Thanks for this -- and for sharing a bit about you and your struggles. I've always envied those who have great looking blogs and industry contacts and busted my butt to make my blog as good as it can be. But I struggle with depression and have been off meds while getting pregnant/being pregnant, and with this fabulous baby, have lost a lot of time. I fret about having a viable blog -- and I don't need that stress!

    I've really cut down on the number of tours and new releases I cover -- I already see the results of not blogging as much and it bums me out. Trying to not conflate self worth with blog traffic, etc etc, which I know intellectually, but having put so much effort into it already, it's hard not to!

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  20. Great post! So true and so honest! I try so often to put things in check because sometimes it just gets so crazy and it all comes down to realizing we are not Wonderwoman and perfectionism is a not necessary.

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  21. Agree 100%. Also, belated Happy Bloggiversary wishes!

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  22. Yes yes yes! Andi, thanks for telling the truth. I've suffered from depression on and off and definitely understand. There are times when you feel that black cloud coming and you know that you have to take action. I usually start with long daily walks and becoming more active. It often helps me.

    I think it's time for all of us to quit putting so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect or Superwoman. That's not real growth.

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  23. As soon as I let go of being defined by the accolades of other's, I was freed from the pressure of the ALL. The being all doing all having all that leads to nothing actually. I don't miss it. If I decorate, cook, or write now I'm doing it because I'm motivated to for a reason not an expectation. So much easier to find purposes there than among all the fear of disapproval.

    Thanks for this post and keep being YOUR kind of WonderWoman :)

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  24. I love this post.

    As much as I love social media for its ability to keep me in touch with faraway family and friends (and its ability to help me meet new ones!), I sometimes wonder if it's worth it for all the pressure it creates. I wonder if I would second-guess my parenting skills, or wardrobe choices, or cooking skills, as much as I do without Facebook/Pinterest/etc. Sometimes I think it would be wonderful to be a mom of young kids when my mom did it in the 80's. I'm sure people still compared themselves to the neighbors and whatnot, but you weren't seeing into their (carefully edited for happiness) homes 24/7.

    Anyway, I hear you on all of this. The tough thing for me though, is that I see posts like this one all the time, but it doesn't stop the flood of articles/posts/etc reminding me that I SHOULD BE Wonder Woman. And sometimes me telling myself that I'm not, that others don't expect me to be, isn't enough to combat the stress that ensues.

    Didn't we get deep today? Haha. Wonderful post!

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  25. I love the idea of "fluid priorities" and letting them ebb and flow and our lives change. I certainly try to do that but it's not always easy. It can just be so hard sometimes! But then again, maybe being Wonder Woman means recognizing your own limitations?

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  26. THIS, girl! I am so happy to see the posts on the Wonder Woman complex and the dialogue about ethics! That is what I was hoping would come out of this and this is a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing your struggles. I am sure you remember I all but quit blogging for a couple of years to deal with overwhelming health problems so it hurts my heart that others don't realize they can do the same and it will all be okay!

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  27. I love this post so much, Andi. My house is practically untouched - we moved in two years ago and everything needs doing, but we're just too busy and other things are more important. Plus, I am now quite fond of the pink cherubs on the bathroom tiles!

    More seriously, I'm glad you wrote about your depression and keeping busy. I've struggled with post-natal depression since giving birth, and I know how much worse pressure can make you feel. Glad you are doing well at the moment xx

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  28. You know, I'm older than many of you, I suspect. And what I say is - you only get one life. How do you want to spend it? It's something I have painfully learned over the years. Where do you want your focus to be? At the end , what do you want to look back on and think, this, this is what I am most proud of. All of you lovely young things - be kind to yourselves. You deserve it!

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    1. Good point. It all needs to be put in perspective.

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  29. Thank you so much for writing this post. What's funny is earlier today I commented on another blog about how I felt that some bloggers must be wonder woman or not human at all because they make everything look so beautiful and so perfect.
    I stopped blogging for about three months because I just felt depressed and anxious over the pressure to be perfect and have perfect stats and a perfect design and all kinds of stuff. It was all bullsheit.
    I deal with a serious anxiety disorder so making friends for me -anywhere in this world is incredibly hard. So there goes me sitting at the cool kids table at BEA in May. Lol
    I have an autoimmune disorder that basically kicks my ass. They are tweaking my medications, but yeah it's not working, yet .
    I thought blogging would help me and for a while it did until all of the unreasonable expectations began becoming an obsession.
    I had to get a grip and get away from it & put everything back into perspective.
    That is exactly what I did and now I am slowly getting back into blogging again.
    I'm just going to be me. I will not put any pressure on myself to blog or take the perfect Instagram pictures or whatever.
    I felt this pressure to live & have this perfect blogger life. I was so bummed out when real life intervened.
    I say let everyone else worry about setting up the perfect Instagram or Pinterest pictures or posts. I'm just going to blog. All of my socially awkward weirdness will come shining through. Lol.
    Thank you so much for this post πŸ’ƒπŸ‘πŸ™ŒπŸŽ‰πŸ˜Έ

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  30. Andi, this post is so very special. This really goes to show that blogging is so much more than just 'life on the internet.' It's a huge part of our daily lives, and thank you for sharing your experience with depression. I think it's seen as something negative, but the truth is, at least in my opinion, people who struggle with it and gets up from bed to live life anyway are the strongest people. Sometimes we all need a little reminder that we'll never be wonder woman, and THAT'S okay.
    Blogging-wise, you have done an incredible job here, juggling "real life" and online. You are a great source of inspiration and energy around the community, and the comments on this very post is a true testament to that.

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  31. I'm with you completely. I have this overwhelming need to be productive 24:7 that I can't shake. My 10-month-old and I both have some sort of mild cold and the weather is gloomy as hell, so we've spent most of the day on the couch. It's killing me! I need to get stuff done, but I know I need to take it easy for the both of us.

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  32. Thank you for starting this discussion today and sharing how no one is perfect and no one needs to be. I am in awe of all that you do and while you're not Super Woman, you do as much as you can, and that's awesome!! I think it's safe to safe many of us are over achievers and it's great to know that while the pressures can be real, we always have the power to step back...even when it's not popular. Great post!!

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  33. I think it's great that so many posts have come out with different perspectives on blogging and balance, stress, productivity, and definitions of success this week. I'm such a procrastinator, I never get around to addressing the topics of the day on my own blog, so I really do admire all of you who do! (It's good to know that everyone is struggling and no one is really Wonder Woman, all appearances to the contrary!

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  34. This is a wonderful post, Andi! Thanks so much for sharing with us! I'm absolutely agree with all the things you said and most of all that we are not wonderwomen. There was a period I stopped blogging because life was getting too overwhelming for me; that was also the same period I lost my mother to cancer.

    I feel as long as we are being kind and true to ourselves, that's what matter most! As Kay said, we only get one life.

    Finally, you're an inspiration, Andi! And I do think you're a wonder woman. :)

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  35. Such a great post, Andi. I loved every word of it. There is just so much that can overwhelm us if we let it, and Pinterest and Instagram definitely don't make it any easier. Fluid priorities - I love that!

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  36. YES! I don't tend to put "wonder woman" expectations on myself (I sort of think in my career, you learn very early on how to dodge that) but I do feel guilty about it every so often. Always a good reminder!

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  37. Great post! I probably don't have too much to add besides what many others have said. I really hope all take it to heart and remember this advice! I struggled with panic attacks for ten years and never took medication because I didn't want to become dependent on it. I learned how to cope...things need to be prioritized, that's all there is to it.

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  38. I love your post, it calls out so much to me. I've always been focused on perfection and keep trying to attain it in so many areas of my life - body, being a mother, top dog at the workplace, beautifully decorated house.... And couple of years back, I realized I was just tired at the end of it all, I mean bone-tired, exhausted, and depressed. I've been trying to kind of restrain myself somehow but it's hard ditching a lifetime's habits and to accept that I can let go sometimes.

    The sad thing? I can't blame anyone else for this, not social media, nor other people. It's something I need to work within myself.

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  39. You know, every once in awhile, I think I should finally cave and join Pinterest, but I haven't yet. I'd love to be able to use it for images/thoughts in developing a novel, or even just collecting images that I like. The strain of it that puts pressure on people to do things is what turns me off. I don't plan to cook. I don't plan to make my house look anything but like my house. I don't want a Martha Stewart living room, you know? And I don't want another social media taking up time I don't really have right now. So I keep staying away, heh. I still feel a lot of pressure re: other things, but thankfully this one this isn't one of them!

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  40. Blogging break or not: I'm going to comment! So sad to hear you're struggling with this, but we all know you're not alone. Pressure is a bitch and I don't like bitches. Plus I'm Dutch, which means I'm much more direct than a typical American (yes that's actually proven by research haha). I'm thinking that in the NL there's a little less pressure, because people are more honest. Or maybe that's just me. I mention when I'm not feeling like blogging, I just announced a blogging break because I don't have the time to blog every day. And I don't like it, but I have to, because otherwise I'll also fall into a depression again. I know it's hard, but I LOVE that we're able to talk about these issues now, because everyone should feel like they can stop doing what other people expect. Let's hope this will make a difference.

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  41. *applauds vigorously*

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  42. I admire you for writing this post and being so honest! None of us are Wonderwoman and we don't have to be. Like you, I'm trying to cut down on book review requests (including ARCs) and I've been blogging less as well. Less pressure definitely puts the fun back into book blogging.

    I also have a short temper and I also struggle with my weight!

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  43. As I tweeted yesterday, great, great post. I'm so glad that we're all willing to be real people, zits and all.

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  44. Thank you for posting this! I've had a tough week, struggling to manage the house and two little kids and shouted at them one too many times. Didn't help that the husband had to work over the weekend! So I gave up, turned on the Netflix, let them binge watch some Thomas, and read some comics. That made things a lot better!
    This year, while I will always look at ARC-filled blogs with envy, I've decided to try to read older books, books less talked about!

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  45. Thank you for this post...and on my birthday!!! I needed to read this today and I am sure many others, blogging or not, will appreciate your honest and sincere sentiments. xo

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  46. Thanks for sharing about yourself so honestly! I love the internet and I love that I can make bookish friends all over the world, but seeing only what people share online does often lead to the impression their life is perfect. Perhaps if we all were a little more willing to share when we're overwhelmed, it would help people avoid feeling so pressured by a blog (a hobby!) that they'd feel driven to plagiarize or feel like their blog, which should be a source of joy, has become another commitment. I personally can only enjoy my blog because I'm able to completely let it go at times like this month, as I write my first paper that will be in my thesis. We can't all do everything all the time!

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  47. One day about two years after my daughter was born, my husband told me my in-laws would be coming for a visit. I didn't lift a finger to clean the house, other than maybe a little straightening. Me, who always had to madly clean before their--or anyone's for that matter--visit. Everything had to be perfect. I used to need to hear "You're house is always so clean and tidy!" It hit me then, in that moment, that I didn't care if the house was a mess. I had a toddler. A full-time job. Heck, I had pets! Of course my house was a mess. It was supposed to be. It was then that I think my brain began to accept that I didn't need to be superwoman. I didn't want to be Wonder Woman.

    When I first began blogging nearly 9 years ago, I had no idea there was a blogging community or even what that meant. I was thrilled when I discovered other blogs and those bookish people began interacting with me. I got such a high out of all the comments and being a part of the community. Then I became overwhelmed and had trouble keeping up. Having a baby was a release for me, in a way. I was forced to step back from blogging and really think about my priorities. I lost followers and it made me sad to some degree, particularly those I interacted with regularly, but I came to appreciate even more those who stuck with me after I had the baby, through my depression, and all my ups and downs as I found a new and comfortable rhythm for my blogging.

    I take comfort in the fact that I am not Wonder Woman or Super Woman. I even readily admit nowadays that blogging is not my top priority nor is it my second or third. If I skip a week or two of posting, I don't sweat it. I still review books for publishers, but it's on my own time table. Do I wish I could do more? Sure. Often times. But I'm also okay if I don't.

    That doesn't mean I still don't feel stress or pressure. A lot of times I feel overwhelmed with life in general. All I can do is the best I can and hope for the best.

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  48. Wow. I'm speechless. So well-written and honest, Andi. I love it and you!

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  49. Well, there are lots of comments already but I just wanted to say amen. We all have our different paths and comfort levels and goals and need to acknowledge them and be secure in who we each are instead of competing, either with each other or with some fictional ideal. Thank you for this post!

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  50. Awesome post Andi!! I've struggled my entire life trying to live up to perceived expectations. Starting with my parents as a young child and now with having a blog and social sites. It's crazy how I think that what other people do is somehow what I should be doing. Well, if they can, I should be able to! It stops now =) Great post!

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  51. I have been referred to as a Stepford Wife more than once. I can see why they choose to see me that way, but lord knows, I don't hide the ugly either. I think they choose to not see it!

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  52. As you so often do, you've certainly summed up what so many of us feel. It is never pretty when I try to do it all; something inevitably falls by the wayside and eventually I blow, treating the people who so don't deserve very badly. Like you, I'm settled into a job right now that offers me much less stress than I'd had in my job in the past. Now if I could just make myself learn to say no more often to publisher requests, that guilt could be done away with, too. We're all human, we all have flaws. Thanks for the reminder we all need to take it easy on ourselves.

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  53. This is an important post. Blogging is very rarely a job; it's generally something we do in our free time because it's a way to engage with like-minded people, a safe place to discuss our interests or just a project to keep us busy. We do it for fun, but it can easily morph into one more thing on the list of have-tos. I think your perspective is spot on. I only review for publishers occasionally, and then only books I probably would have read anyway. I try to post regularly, but I know it's not the end of the world if I don't. Basically as soon as I stop having fun, I step back. Great post, and great chatting with you on Twitter today!

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  54. I am so behind... I am just now following the links about the plagiarism (which I missed that whole discussion!) Excellent discussion here and at 3 R's. I smiled when you mentioned the comments you get... I get that too, the whole "I get tired just reading about your day!" I am driven to the point I burn out, dont do a thing for a few days... get the fever and start again. It is the way I am wired, but like you said, readers do not get the whole picture of the fact I listen to more audio then read because often I do not have time to pick up a book. Or the times I fall asleep in the chair because I have pushed it too hard. I love to blog, I love chatting with all of you and I review when the book is done... however long that takes me ;) Great discussion!

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  55. AMEN, AMEN, AMEN...Thanks as always for keeping it real and for not being afraid to be vulnerable and by being real, you inspire us all! xo Kathleen

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Thanks for taking the time to comment! Blogger has been a beast lately, so I hope you do not have any troubles leaving your thoughts.

 
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