Wednesday, June 03, 2015

Mediocre White Male in a Leadership Role: A Case Study

Wanted: one hard-working lady type. The desirable gal will fill a vital and sought after role in a team-oriented office environment.

As the Mediocre White Male in a Leadership Role, I try to relate to every employee on a personal level...to foster a supportive professional environment. For example, I respect your right to skip the stockings and sport your best high heels. I even like to comment on my lady colleagues' tri-colored eye makeup sometimes. I notice the little things.

While our ideal lady employee will have a full list of to-dos, I appreciate gumption and ingenuity.We all pitch in to make sure this is a great place to be. For instance, you might decide to make a pot of coffee or organize a pot luck for everybody. I don't mean that in a "get back in the kitchen" kind of way, but it might be nice if you bring a cobbler from time to time. Oh, and you might want to clean out the break room fridge now and again since you have breasts.

I like to emphasize a healthy work life balance for my employees. It's a big task supplementing your husband's income, after all. Most of the women around here like to get home as close to 5:00 as possible. I mean, your kids will be pretty dang hungry without their mama.

Oh, and I almost forgot! One of the first people you'll meet, a really integral part of the team, is Traitorous Female Collaborator. It takes a while to learn the lay of the land. A pretty steep learning curve and all. TFC will be sure to remind you when you've been too aggressive with a client, if you're  just being emotional, or if you should smile more. Oh, and don't forget, we're just crazy for a well-placed exclamation point or smiley-face.

I know the right girl is out there, and I know she has tons of skills. I pride myself on trusting my team. In fact, I don't know anything about what we do! That's why I have smart gals like you to keep things afloat.

Have a good day now,

MWMLR


Disclaimer: An amalgamation of personal experience. 




22 comments:

  1. Love it! I often find that my job supplementing my husband's income needs appreciation such as this man is willing to offer. I sincerely hope there's a Overtly Superior Male in a Subordinate Position who will act like my boss despite being employed in a lower position than myself.

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    1. Gah! I forgot about the Overly Superior Male in a Subordinate Position. This could be a whole series.

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  2. Well, that doesn't sound like the dream job you were hoping for!

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    1. Nerp. Didn't quite work out. It's a dream...just the wrong kind.

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  3. Groooooooooan. Just kind of makes me want to choke people for you.
    Except now I want cobbler.

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    1. LOL, cobbler really is always a good idea.

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  4. Oh my, all the hugs go to you! Did I tell you about the time my advisor suggested the only reason I wanted to finish my degree early was "because you just want to go with your boyfriend, now that he finished"? And TFC deserves a good slap in the face!. I hope things get better soon for you.

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    1. HOLY CRAP! People are just shit.

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    2. The TFC. So unthinkable and sadly accurate. Been there with that one. Still don't quite 'get' it.

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  5. I know I said I'm looking for a job, but...

    (So sorry you have to deal with all of this!)

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    1. Hahaha, may a great job full of well adjusted, considerate people come to you.

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  6. Does Mediocre White Male in a Leadership Role have any female equals? Does he treat them like crap too? As the main income of my household, I'd love to go head-to-head with him. Ain't nobody got time for his crap! (Love the gif by the way.)

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    1. Indeed he does. This one (me) is usually ready to kick him in the knee caps.

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  7. I'm literally obsessed with you. This is freaking hilarious. Maybe because I semi-lived it with you for a while, maybe because I can hear you saying all of these things to me in your office. Regardless, I'm laughing my behind off. Sending good thoughts your way that hopefully you get to give MWMLR the finger soon! <3

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    1. LOL, you've been in the trenches with me! I wish you nothing but more enlightened leadership in your future endeavors.

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  8. You know where I am when you need to vent. :(

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    1. I try to spare you, friend. lol

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  9. Jesus take the wheel! i can't believe people have to go through this kind of crap at work. It makes you wonder where and how they got their degrees. Smh... :(

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    1. Yep. If I didn't know better I'd think they purchased their "learnin'" somewhere online. "Six hours to a PhD!"

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