Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Be Thankful If You Don't Own These Covers

Image credit.
Thanksgiving is just ahead of us, and this will be my last post until after the holiday weekend. Rather than taking the regular ole angle, I thought we'd go for something slightly twisted by giving you three covers you should be thankful you don't own. And if you do own these, bless your heart. 
This post originally ran at Book Riot on June 15, 2015. 
I am a sucker for covers. I don’t even pretend to be unbiased or resistant to their powers. They sway me, entice me, generally thrill me. Once in a while, though, a cover will make me…blush, swing my head around, and sometimes cringe. Those special covers that pack a gut punch or bring up the hairs on one’s arms are special finds. I kind of want to celebrate them, but I also want to hide them in the freezer.
Tampa
The first book in this category that always, always comes to mind is Alissa Nutting’s Tampa. It’s just a button hole. I realize this, but sometimes a buttonhole is not just a buttonhole, especially in the context of this novel’s plot.
houseisonfire
Your House is On Fire, Your Children All Gone by Stefan Kiesbye gives me the creeps all around. The “bad seed” vibe is overwhelming, between the child’s intense and ghostly stare, to the eviscerated animals hanging in the background. It doesn’t get much more “Children of the Corn” than this.
lolitaredesignflavorwire
Mysteriously dark divots, and hair, and just…do I even have to expand? This Lolita cover was part of a redesign contest, and this particular entry came from Adonis Durado, a talented poet, illustrator, and designer. While it’s fitting enough to this classically squicky novel, I find myself hoping to never discover this hair on the soap. If you want to see more subtly yucky covers, check out the Flavorwire post.
Hit me with your best shot. What are your favorite questionable covers?

24 comments:

  1. Haha, OMG...oh my. There are no words. Just...no. Have a great Thanksgiving Andi!

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    1. LOL, that was pretty much what I said, too, Kim!

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  2. Yeah, Tampa and Lolita are pretty suggestive. Those are covers you wouldn't want young kids to find.

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    1. Noooo. Too many questions. lol

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  3. I never thought a buttonhole to be ...ahem...carnal, until now. The hairy cover...I just can't. Happy Thanksgiving!

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    1. Right??? The only buttonhole that makes me blush...I'm telling you.

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  4. I am ever so thankful I don't have any of these. But now I can't get the out of my mind's eye ... dang you Andi! :P

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  5. I have never seen that Lolita cover before, and let's hope I never see it again. Your comments cracked me up - I have a thing about hairs on soap, too. Or hairs just anywhere. I don't want them on my book covers, either!
    Have a great Thanksgiving weekend!

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    1. Noooo, no hairs! A friend of mine at work leaves "beard shrapnel" (our pet peeve and self-made term) wherever he goes, so my mind goes there first.

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  6. I have to admit that buttonhole was not my first thought when I saw that cover....ahem.

    That Lolita cover has to be some sort of experimentation on content v. aesthetics, right?

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    1. Ahem is right! And re: Lolita...has to be.

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  7. Oh you're right, these are bad. The first and last especially, just nasty.

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  8. While those do grad your attention, which is the point of cover art, I wonder if they produce actual sales.

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    1. Ehhh, depends on the audience I suppose. I know Tampa did well, and I'm sure "Children" would appeal to an audience very obviously looking for horror. So "Bad Seed."

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  9. Holy God, the Lolita cover is disturbing even in the range of existing Lolita covers, which many of them are well disturbing already.

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    1. Ha! Yes! This artist outdid everyone. Thank goodness it's just a contest entry and not a real cover.

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  10. Well, I do have that Tampa cover. It is icky but not quite as bad as it could be. That Lolita cover though? Whoa.

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  11. The first two don't bother me (probably, in part, because I haven't read Tampa, so as far as I know, a buttonhole IS just a buttonhole). But the Lolita cover makes me want to run and take a very hot shower.

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  12. Your house is on Fire is one of my favorite books eva! The creepy cover at least gets you ready for all the weird shit youre going to find inside.

    And I agree with everyone else that that Lolita cover officially makes me want to puke.

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  13. I don't even know what that Lolita shot is of. I mean, I know what it's alluding to but what is it really??? Nightmares!! These give me nightmares!

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  14. oh my, nasty and scary, someone probably got fired

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  15. Hey Andi,
    Creepy, but got me thinking!!
    Thanks
    Bren
    Life Coaching Sydney

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