I resigned from my job today. I resigned without a specific plan. I leapt.
I managed to write myself out of a very icky place on Sunday. I thought I was worried about not getting the job I've been interviewing for recently, but the more I thought about it, the dark panic was about the possibility of staying in my current job. The thought of it was terrifying and soul sucking.
First off, the job I'm interviewing for is more than I could've ever dreamt for myself. It's a position I would not have applied for because I would've considered it too high-powered, too high-paid, too fancy for me. But they like me. They really do. I have a good chance.
What's more, the people around me believe in me far more than I ever have. My mom, my husband, my friends, you who have known me here for so long. You tell me I can do whatever I put my mind to. It's something I grew up hearing, but somehow I lost it along the way.
Suddenly through this potential job opportunity I started to believe I could actually do this. What's more, I began to realize that even if I don't get this new job, it doesn't matter. I do not want to spend another day in this place. I can do more, be more. Maybe I can be one of "those people" who make the money and do the fancy things. If not, I can do something else. I can always teach since it fills my heart. I can write. I love doing that.
Can I live with myself if I leap?
Yes. Yes, I can.
I've prayed. I've talked to my family at length. I've read your messages and tweets and comments. I've read books. I've cried. I've prayed some more.
I have been so unhappy. I decided without realizing.
I am free to do whatever I can do.
Read more about my other interests and "real life" at NonComplianceNetwork.com