Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Whole-Assing It: A Re-calibration of Responsibility


Since I've quit my job, I've been thinking a lot. Thinking about priorities, responsibilities, the next steps in everything.

I am part of a tribe of people who are responsible for a little boy's upbringing, I'm responsible for my part in nurturing my marriage, for my role in a family, for making a contribution to my household (however that pans out in this job hunt).

I also choose to be responsible for the role of being a person online...writing, interacting with people, nurturing long distance friendships, and offering my opinions here and elsewhere.

These are big things. These are the things I give the most fucks about. These are the things I don't want to half-ass. I've known that. It's not new. What is new is that I am sloughing off the extras.

I am seriously thinking--not for the first time--of getting rid of about 90% of my physical "to be read" pile of books. The ones that run off shelves and creep into corners. Because honestly, I don't give any fucks about being beholden to those stacks.

You may be wondering, "What about #ReadMyOwnDamnBooks?" 

I've learned a lot from that in three months. I've learned that 90% of the books in my house get none of my fucks. They are wallpaper. Hopefully they can help my family by being sold or help someone else by going into a Little Free Library.

I haven't had NonCompliance Network for long, but I'm thinking about moving it in here. I was trying to "do something right" and "be professional" by keeping this spot for books and growing a blog elsewhere for other things, but you are here. I am here! If you're only here for the books, you may be disappointed when I post about life and makeup and clothes and shit.

I'll be bringing a lot more non-compliance into this space in both look and feel. I think most of you are probably not surprised. I love writing here more than almost anything else I do in life. That is a-OK.

I need to whole-ass my health. My husband and I have re-embraced a "real food" lifestyle. I'm not anemic! It's going great, I feel better than I have in ages, and with some work-from-home time on the near horizon, I have space to exercise for the first time in foreverrrrr. Some of this weight is going for my health and for the investment in my future. Those are fucks worth giving.



What do you insist on whole-assing?



61 comments:

  1. In the last 5 years I've pared my physical books down to one shelf of favorites/special for some reason other than the text and one small shelf of TBR. I should ditch those too, as I haven't read a paper book in years. I do not regret this AT ALL. Not for one second. Any backlist book I've been interested in has been available to me online somewhere (library, Scribd, Amazon). I have not bought a paper book in years either, for myself anyway. I love how less cluttered my house is without them. God knows I have a ton of OTHER clutter going on so you wouldn't think it would be obvious, but it really is and it feels great.

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  2. BRING ON THE NONCOMPLIANCE. I'll be here.

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    1. Girl, I know you will! Love you to the moon and back.

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  3. I need to whole-ass my life. This is so great!

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  4. Here for the whole-assing. Looking forward to hearing about the book culling!

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    1. Thanks, lady! Gotta do it while the urge is here!

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  5. I love NonCompliance, so bring it here - we will all read it :) I'm with you on getting healthy - I need to do it ASAP! I think its great you are doing so well with a "real food" lifestyle. As for paring down your physical books, I can dig it. I do it all the time when I'm feeling overwhelmed, especially as I seem to be reading more ebooks lately. I plan on only keeping and buying the physical copies of books by my favorite authors - anything else I will ebook it. I say go for it!

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    1. The real food lifestyle has really worked for me in the past. I lost about 40 pounds and have kept it off, but I probably have another 50 to go. I often cull books, but this is really an intent to cull almost all the books. I just want to pick up and read whatever without anything hanging over my head. We'll see how it shakes out!

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  6. I love this! I absolutely have some whole-assing to figure out in my life.

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    1. Hahaha, don't we all? So very much for me these days.

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  7. Yep - one of the benefits of #ReadMyOwnDamnBooks is it's helping me figure out which books no longer belong on my To Read shelves.

    Absolutely bring Noncompliance over here. It's the real you so it should all be here.

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    1. Amen! For me, it's a lot. They've seriously been there so long they're like back moles. Hairy ones.

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  8. I applaud your book purging goals! I had some similar ones that didn't go quite as extensive and I am not entirely there yet. I know I still have too many books, but I will get there...

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    1. We're all works in progress!

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  9. Whole assing all the things! So worth the time and effort!

    Can't wait to see more non-compliance make it's way here!

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    1. Hahah yes! There will be a smattering of everything.

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  10. I'm glad you brought up moving your other blog to this blog because when you created the second blog I thought, "This is going to be the most amazing blog! But Andi already has the most amazing blog. Why is show one-upping the rest of us by having two amazing blogs!?" OK, maybe I didn't phrase it exactly like that, but I think your blog should be whatever you want it to be, and not to worry about people who only want to read about books or only about beauty, etc. So good on you for considering that step! I think we'll all adore you regardless.

    Also, reading my own damn books is hard! I've been trying to sell a lot of my books (over 250), so I completely understand this. Why put off a book that sounds amazing? I think I need to recommit to reading all the things. That being said, I really hope I sell my books or get them donated to a great place soon. I'm starting to look like a Hoarders episode.

    I've written enough. I'll have to ponder what I'm going to whole-ass. I've definitely been thinking about it a lot lately. I might need to write about it. Once again, you inspire me. :)

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    1. Excuse any typos and excited fast-typing errors. :)

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    2. LOL, you flatter me dear. I still really like the look of the other blog. Maybe I should just move to wordpress and keep doing my thing? I dunno, but Estella's Revenge has been here too long and is too established to splinter my efforts. Ugh!

      For the first time ever I want to pick up new stuff, old stuff, and I have sooooo many options available to me (Scribd, Audible, Comixology, my shelves, my shitty library). I just don't want to be stuck with all the old stuff that's lost my interest. I still don't plan to buy and replace, that's for damn sure. Ugh! I can't even handle it anymore! Cheers to whole-assing!

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  11. I'm jealous of your book purge...I have a real hoarder mindset, so getting rid of books is something that would be hard for me to do. I love the feeling of being surrounded by books. I also love your whole-assing it concept...it's why I'm seriously considering drastically paring down my personal blog because it's become less and less a priority and why keep something around in my life that I'm not devoted to? Can't wait to watch this space to see what happens here!

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    1. I used to but then it got overwhelming and moving was a pain in the ass, and now I just don't want to feel guilty for not reading my own books but I also DON'T WANT TO READ my own books! lol Well, not all of them. There are a handful that still really cry out to me.

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  12. I've made some of those exact same decisions before, and I totally applaud you!

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    1. Thank you, Amanda! I thought of you when I thought of getting rid of the TBR!

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  13. Who the heck are you non-complying with? :P Make your own rules and be happy. (blog-wise) As for your health -- absolutely no compromises there.

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    1. Haaa! Fewer compromises everryyyyywhere!

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  14. I'll read you wherever you are. Combine the blogs. Keep 'em separate. Doesn't matter to me. I've got them in Bloglovin' so do what works best for you. I tried to have three blogs and wound up combining them all under one. Much easier to stay on top of and I think most readers enjoy the variety of topics (books, food, travel, etc.).

    With regard to your books, ditch the ones that don't "spark joy." :) With our future move to Oregon, I'm trying to whittle mine down to a manageable size so we don't have to pack and move 'em when they're easily available at a library or on my Nook. You've got a HalfPrice Bookstore nearby, don't you? I took 8 large boxes last summer. It's amazing how freeing that felt to unload those suckers.

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    1. Thank you for the support, Les! I'm totally doing your method with my books. It's helping!

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  15. I'm learning how to whole-ass my health, too. A couple months ago I started seeing a naturopath because my regular doc just wanted to put me on medication. The naturopath uncovered some food sensitives, recommended a few supplements, and now gone are the chronic headaches and occasional joint aches I had. It's a huge & annoying challenge for me to learn how to eat for what's best for my body, but I feel so good! Perhaps better than I ever have and I just turned 50 last week. Books are also a thing for me...I've been procrastinating about organizing my books when really I think I first need to do a big purge. Again. My goal for the past 15 years had been to have fewer books each year--set them free and whatnot. I fell off that wagon last year and it's time to get back on it. And for what my 2¢ is worth I like the idea of one blog. I was worried that two would split your energy.

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    1. That's awesome that your head and joint aches are gone! I just need to MOVE. I'm so sick of sitting at a desk every day. Since I'll have some work-from-home time, I'm looking forward to going out for a brisk walk after I drop kiddo off in the mornings. <3

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  16. I was just thinking tonight how trying to find a book on my shelves is like looking for a needle in a haystack. I have all these books I want to lend to my students but cannot find them. It's so frustrating! So, yeah, I want to purge my shelves so badly. But whenever I pick up a stack and think, "You do not need these. You will never read/reread these," the book hoarder is me is like, "Nooooo!" You're inspiring me to do it, though! Ugh, it needs doing!

    Also, three cheers to whole-assing it! :)

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    1. LOL, my inner book hoarder died a swift death the last time I moved. OMG, I had SO MANY books! Some had to go! Cheers to whole-assing!

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  17. I applaud your goal of whole-assing those things in your life you most care about. I'm trying to do the same right now - hence the return to blogging despite being pressed for time non-stop. And I love reading blogs that are about more than books.

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    1. It's remarkably hard, right??? I'm so impressed with all you do, Trisha!

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  18. This is a big question. I feel like it deserves a lot of thought and maybe even its own post.

    I have to say, I've never regretted giving up a book on my tbr pile. Books I've read, now, that's a whole different story.

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    1. Good! I hope you do have the time to post about it because I'd love to see what you come up with! Come to think of it, I've never regretted giving up a book on my stack either. We should be easier on ourselves letting them go.

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  19. I've found that as busy as I am, volunteering is what I am whole-assed about these days. As a youth leader, I feel this renewed sense of purpose and when I make the smallest connection with these crazy teens, my heart flutters and then melts.

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    1. I love this! Love! I'm so glad you know your passion and can make it happen!

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  20. Wherever you write, I will read.
    Here's to whole-assing!!

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    1. Thank you, JoAnn! Whole-assing all the way!

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  21. You go!!! I'm here for the long haul, tho I don't always comment.

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    1. Thank you. That really does mean a lot to me.

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  22. You know what? I like where you're going with this. I've seen a number of people feel like they need to branch off certain pieces of their blogs into separate blogs, but they usually end up overwhelmed and drop something. I love me some books, obviously, but I have NO issue with people who like books having interests in other things. Plus I really, really want to see makeup tutorials because you always look like a million bucks and I'm over here with my drugstore stash like "WTF do they mean by BLEND? I tried and it looks weird and blobby now!" (I didn't decide that I wanted to wear makeup regularly until my mid twenties so I missed the years when it was expected that you'd look ridiculous. Well. Except for those times I thought it would be a good idea to glue craft glitter to my eyelids with chapstick. Oh the 90s...)

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    1. Girl, I am gonna FIGURE OUT how on earth to do a blending tutorial. It makes All. The. Difference! I'm imagining the craft glitter chapstick debacle now and it's making my day.

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  23. You know, anyone whose been around the blogs for even a couple years knows that all of this is about more than just books. It's our common bond, but we're also nuanced people. And over time we've come to care for the people behind the blogs. Why wouldn't we want to know what else is up?! So go for it!

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    1. Amen! I can't say anything else. I know it's true, and I don't know what I was thinking. I think I was thinking "refresher." But I can refresh myself here.

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  24. So excited for you.you really are an inspiration

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  25. I love this so much. Something I really want to work on is incorporating other things about my life into my "book" blog. I was doing so good with Sunday Salon for a long time, which I felt like was helping people get to know me better, but I've been terrible at it for probably a year now. I love your goal of whole-assing your life and I so admire you! I know I don't comment a lot but I think you're awesome. :)

    P.S. I still plan to #ReadMyOwnDamnBooks. ;)

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    1. Hahaha, I'm gonna read my own damn ones that are left! I hope you can get back into sharing more about yourself. I'd love to read it!

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  26. You go girl! I love reading the posts that you post in your other blog and I love the ones you post here. I think it makes perfect sense that you mold both into one.

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    1. Thank youuu! It is MUCH much appreciated!

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  27. I'll read no matter what you blog about! I've let a lot of life creep into my blogging as well. It keeps it lively and interesting =) I've also gotten rid of I'd say half of my TBR pile at home. It's like a spring cleaning every so years. Books that I know have been there forever and I just avoid like the plague....they go! Since last July I have adopted a modified clean eating lifestyle as well. I discovered through the Whole30 elimination diet, that my stomach issues are a direct result of dairy and grains....so they are gone! Choosing to stay mostly Paleo for me has been a blessing, I feel so much better. I'm so glad you are making more time for yourself and your family!! I need to carve out a more regulated exercise schedule too.

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  28. I'm with you whether you're at Non-Comp or here or both or ... but, I'd like you to be here all the time, wholeass :-) Get rid of all the books! I'm in the minority, but if I buy a book, I read it, and then donate it to the library (because if I buy a book, it means the library didn't have it). Only books I want to pass on to my kids get kept at home.

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  29. I love this and I love you. I feel like I'm getting closer to culling out the things in my life that I don't need or want anymore. It feels good!!

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  30. The fact that you are getting rid of 90% of your books is exactly why I don't buy all the books I read. I get almost all my books from the library. I'd say like 98%. I just wouldn't read most of them more then once so I don't want to own them. Keep your blog about what makes you happy.

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  31. You're seriously turning into a super hero!

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  32. You do You, Girl! I have been culling things, commitments and people from my life lately. And it is AWESOME!

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  33. I'm whole-assing being the best, authentic me. I know that sounds broad but it really isn't. And that seeps into every other aspect of my life, parenting, partnering, being a friend, work, blogging. Isn't it great to let some of your own personal thoughts and life come into a blog space that is a part of you as well? Looking forward to more non-compliance here!

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  34. We are on the same page. I finally decided that my blog is too impersonal and plan to bring more of me into it. I envisioned it as a professional type space, but I'm really not using it as that either, so yeah. I get it.

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  35. Yes, we all need to assess our lives this way sometimes. Well done on actually doing it! I've been trying to whole-ass my health, but I think some other stuff is going to have to give way for it properly happen. Tough decisions ahead.

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