Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Putting On Armor
I can't say that something like that has happened since, oh, 2003. Not in relation to a class anyway. I've been open here about anxiety and depression. It's one of the reasons I left my old job. Anxiety was eating me up.
In my previous post, I mentioned wanting to get back on track with running to try to prevent some of this. That wasn't really the whole story though. Lately, every day feels like putting on armor. Steeling myself for the next thing.
Greyson is having some difficulties in school and "ADHD" has been tossed around, much to his dad's chagrin, so I won't go into detail. Needless to say, I feel the need to closely monitor and advocate for him. We're working on a different approach to behavior...something we've tried before with good results...so it seems promising in the long term. We'll see.
I have a wicked case of electionitis, which I've also mentioned but not discussed in any detail. As much as I try to be objective, even-tempered, cool-headed, and rhetorically-sensitive, I am at a precipice. Texas, for the first time in my memory, is a swing state. It is almost unbearable for me to see people I went to school with, people I've respected, and family members defending Trump's toxic rhetoric. Being that rhetorically-sensitive teacher--it's my literal job--I do understand some of what persuades these folks, but since politics is all about priorities, I can't stomach support for a candidate whose actions have made it a grand old time for racism and sexism to come out and bask in the sun. I want to say, yeah, you're a garbage fire and sit the fuck down. That's as honest as it gets. Ugly, but honest.
Finally, I'm tired. Bone tired. I have wonderful support from my husband and mom, but I feel like I'm driving a lot, nurturing a lot, without getting enough back. Again, that's not anyone's fault close to me. I'm tired of being an adult when others are not. I'm tired of being observant and responsible, involved, outspoken, when others are not. (Nope, not giving any more detail.)
Armor. Every day.
Labels: real life