Worthless time-wasting bullshit, Batman!

Things I plan to do today:

1. Go to Colloquium.

2. Avoid reading The House of Mirth.

3. Watch Donnie Darko and do whatever comes out of my overwhelming lust for Jake Gyllenhaal. And I admire his brain, too. He went to Yale for a piece (of time, not ass, although I'm sure he ran into some of that too).

4. Finally get around to reading The House of Mirth when it's too late to concentrate.

5. Put up the NEW TEMPLATE Heather was kind enough to make for me. It's very springy and I *heart* it. It even has a Great Expectations quote. Rock out, Estella.

6. Mull over the state of the world and then give up, choosing to read The Onion instead of real news.

Which brings me to....THE BEST ONION HEADLINES I've read lately:

• Sharon's Neurotransmitters Reach Cease-Fire Agreement
• Ghost of Brando Urges Man to Finish Whole Cheesecake
• Secretary of Agriculture Keeps Bragging He's Ninth in Line for Presidency
• And from the coveted "Education" pages: Bob Marley Rises From Grave to Free Frat Boys from Bonds of Opression

On TV: There is none.
Listening: To the sounds of Joaquin Phoenix singing "Jackson" in my head.
Reading: A universally disturbing blog.
In my head: Joaquin Phoenix. Pay attention.

For Andies (that's a plural)

Before I get to all that...

I posted new stuff (for the first time in ages) at Projectile Reviews.

I'm adding these MOST lovely gifts from Amanda and Heather to my blog for 1) posterity 2) so I can look at them conveniently whenever I want.



From Heather the most sweetest wonderful blog goddess EVER!


From Amanda that hit the nail RIGHT on the HEAD! I should spread this one around to all my grad school peeps.

Blahdy hawwwww....(some random shizzle)

I am an insomniac misanthrope and that makes for one vapid wench. Don't I look vapid? The happy face is part of a delicately staged plan to take over the world. But I really can't sleep. Again.

My hair is FADING! A girl doesn't pay $95 and $18 EACH for a bottle of shampoo and conditioner to keep it from FADING just to have it revolt! My red is not nearly so brilliant as it is in this pic. I want to FLAME, and not in a "bend me over and stick it to me Jake Gyllenhaal" way.

My gastrointestinals are tap dancing.

Todd is right, Ann Coulter is a cunt.

Eiluned has gotten me addicted to celebrity crushes, and here's who gives me a woody:

Jake Gyllenhaal...because I really would bend over and ask him to stick it to me. Did I say that out loud for all the internet to read? Hell yeah, I did! I used to think he was funny-lookin', but I've seen the light.










The Joshes....Josh Lucas (Glory Road, Sweet Home Alabama) and below...Josh Holloway (Lost).



Both of these boys appeal to me with their sweetish southern characters and sexy-ass scruffiness. Because scruff is where it's at. I don't know about you ladies, but I imagine they'd be the type to throw down in the kitchen for dessert. Maybe it's just me.

I admit, I've even read a bit of Lost fanfic. Whoa NELLY! The imaginations of some of these viewers get me a little hot under the collar. The Sawyer/Kate pairings are smmmokin'.

Ok, enough of my pervness. I'm going to bed. John Mayer and I bid you adieu.

TV: long gone
CD: John Mayer Live in Birmingham..."Message in a Bottle"
Reading: BUST Magazine and The House of Mirth
In my head: No good.

Me! Me!

Heather tagged me!

Four jobs I've had:
1. Computer lab assistant
2. Web Designer/E-business person
3. High school teacher (world lit)
4. Community college instructor (developmental writing)

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. You've Got Mail
2. The Mirror Has Two Faces
3. Funny Farm
4. Sweet Home Alabama

Four favorite books:
1. The Hours (Michael Cunningham)
2. The Cider House Rules (John Irving)
3. The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald)
4. What I Loved (Siri Hustvedt)

Four places I've lived:
1. Tiny Town, Texas
2. Waco, Texas
3. Warsaw, North Carolina
4. Beulaville, North Carolina

Four TV shows I love:
1. Lost
2. House Hunters
3. Family Guy
4. Desperate Housewives

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Anything Indian...tandoori, biryani, curry, naan, whatever.
2. Hunan chicken
3. Tortilla soup
4. Crock pot pork chops

Four sites I visit daily (all on the sidebar):
1. A High & Hidden Place: Heather
2. Blog Jar: Amanda
3. NonVocabulum: Dena
4. Viva las Vegass: Todd

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Topsail Beach, NC
2. Robbers Cave State Park (Oklahoma)
3. Myrtle Beach, SC
4. Memphis, TN

Four bloggers I am tagging: Anyone who wants to steal it!