A quick note...

I had my first HUGH LAURIE DREAM last night!!!! More later....

Ok, it's later:

It wasn't a sex dream or anything. I met him here in the States and we started seeing each other. His personality was very un-Hugh and very House. Snarky bastard and all...but fun. And very cute.

Anyway, I was with friends, Hugh and I had been seeing each other for a bit, and it was his birthday. He and me and the two friends went to a swanky restaurant where I surprised him with food I felt was very English (although I can't think just now what that might've been. I think there was a brownie sundae involved, but I was more concerned with the aphrodesiac qualities of the chocolate). I got him gifts! I thought, in the DREAM mind you...I'm not this idiotic in real life...that it would be very English and remind him of home to buy him a miniature claw-foot bathtub for his birthday. I did. He loved it. I would've gotten some action as a result of that gift if I hadn't woken up.

SO CLOSE! Gah!

Listening: fabulous mix cd..."Sweet Home Alabama" at the mo'

Crankypants

I'm such the fucking crankypants bitch today. The oddity of it all is that I seem to have adapted to weird sleep patterns...so much so that if I get too much sleep (also known as a normal amount of sleep to the rest of the world) I feel like droopy ass the next morning. Case in point, night before last I got 3 hours of sleep. Three. Yesterday morning I felt fantastic and danced around the writing center humping people's legs. In contrast, last night I got 7 hours of sleep. Against my will...I passed out watching House. Today I feel like hammered shit and hate everyone. Two of my colleagues got no sleep at all...worked all night, high on energy drinks, took a shower in the early hours, and came on in to work. Another colleage got three hours of sorta-sleep. I'm the only one who's "well-rested." Given, they're all a little cranky because they all have papers due today, etc., but I'm uber-cranky. The crankiest of all the fucking cranks. Why? Because I feel like a hungover crack addict detoxing because I SLEPT TOO MUCH. I felt almost blissful and euphoric yesterday, and today I want to reach into someone's throat and forcibly remove their spine.

Fuck sleep.

And fuck the International Comic Arts Festival for not getting their notices out on time. Thanks a lot, assholes.

Other ways people are annoying me today:

Talking
Sitting at the table where we usually sit
Being retards

That pretty much sums it up.

Click to read the new issue of Estella's Revenge.

Sleepless and dreaming...

I can't sleep. Twice the suggested dose of Aleve hasn't even touched my cramps all day. I will be so unpleasant in the morning.

I stayed in bed in the dark thinking about the future for about as long as I could take it. Sarah McLachlan was making me weepy, so I switched over to a mystery mix and wound up with Nickel Creek and Alanis unplugged. Better.

I've been making a mental list of all the stuff I feel a pressing need to do before I die.

Humanitarian work in a Third World country.

Backpack through Europe.

Finally get my tatoo. I've decided, after seven years of contemplation, on a phoenix between my shoulder blades and the text, "Quaere Verum"...Seek the Truth in Latin.

The cross-country Kerouac road trip.

Tour Frida Kahlo's house in Mexico.

Be smarter.

Publish.

Maybe a law degree after my PhD. I've always thought I'd be good at it.

Marry and do the kid thing. I'll be fine if it doesn't happen, but ultimately I think I want it.

Sleep. I just WANT TO SLEEP.

****************topic switch*****************

I was talking to mom about the 'zine tonight. She seemed sort of put off by the whole conversation so I asked what the problem was. She said she thought it was an unecessary "extra" that I put on myself when I've already got enough to do.

I see her perspective...I do. But can't she also understand that this is something I NEED to do for the sake of my own sanity? I love being too busy, otherwise I wouldn't be so busy. Busy is a choice. I bitch, yes, it's hard, yes, but I need the busy. I'm miserable when I'm not busy. I like breakneck for a while and then a break. Then breakneck. Then a break. It's a cycle. It makes me feel alive. I'm due for a break, but I guarantee after a week or two off I'll be ready to gnaw my own leg off.

Sometimes I wish we were more alike. At the core of things we're exactly alike...just different interests and perspectives on certain things. She's still my best friend. If we were any more alike we'd probably kill each other.

Listening: acoustic version of "Caught in the Rain"...Revis

P.S. I should find out tomorrow if I got accepted to the International Comic Arts Festival in D.C. I have my doubts, but cross your digits anyway.